After 9 years of dating, and 2 more being engaged, my fiance and I have finally set our wedding date. We have decided to marry privately in a civil ceremony in NC where we live, and then have a private dinner in NY where the rest of our family is. Our dinner will be small for roughly 30 family members. My fiance has had several friends ask about throwing him a stag, which I think is great, but I have several reservations. First, the stag would be in NY and the bulk of the people attending would not be invited to our dinner since we're only having closest family present. Second, the stag will be an added expense, either driving or flying, and I worry about that as an added expense, because even though our dinner is small we're still having all the traditional wedding touches (flowers, linens, cake, photographer, and on and on!). Last, I really just want to follow ettiquette and not hurt anyone's feelings! What should we do??