Can i invite people to my bridal shower and not invite them to the wedding?

JPlummer28

i am getting married in august in a small ceremony and our guest list has to be limited because of the reception site.  we are thinking about having a big wedding celebration bbq as our bridal shower. the only problem is that we were going to invite people that i wont be able to invite to the actual wedding. i am also a first grade teacher and i really would like to invite my class and their parents to this celebration.  i guess what im asking is is it okay to invite people to this bbq, not call it a bridal shower, and then not invite some of these guests to the wedding?

vstu12

Just have a party that isn't directly related to any wedding celebration.  A shower invite without a wedding invite is pretty rude- you're essentially asking for gifts from people who didn't make the cut for the wedding.  But a bbq sounds like a nice idea.  

Also, you're a teacher- please use capital letters.   

kristeno90

Inviting someone to your shower and not your wedding makes you seem gift grabby.

redheadfsu

People get offended if you invite them to any pre-wedding party and then they don't get invited to the wedding. Plus, it is pretty tacky. By choosing to have a small wedding you are choosing to have small pre-wedding parties.


So just have a summer BBQ with no mention of the wedding.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_can-invite-people-bridal-shower-not-invite-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:ac6c1ac7-fa54-4809-a812-36243b25fc21Post:c3c8cf81-80c0-43bb-a7eb-714299018b55">Can i invite people to my bridal shower and not invite them to the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]i am getting married in august in a small ceremony and our guest list has to be limited because of the reception site.  we are thinking about having a big wedding celebration bbq as our bridal shower. the only problem is that we were going to invite people that i wont be able to invite to the actual wedding. i am also a first grade teacher and i really would like to invite my class and their parents to this celebration.  i guess what im asking is is it okay to invite people to this bbq, not call it a bridal shower, and then not invite some of these guests to the wedding?
Posted by JPlummer28[/QUOTE]

<div>Nope.  Only people invited to the actual wedding can be invited to wedding-related parties.  </div><div>
</div><div>Part of opting for a small wedding means having a small shower or no shower at all.  If you want to invite all these people to something invite them to the wedding.  Otherwise, have a non-wedding related party.  </div>

trix1223

No.  As pp's have said, you can't invite people to a bridal shower without also sending them wedding invites.

As for inviting your class and their parents:  would you normally invite all of your students and their families to a bbq?  If you wouldn't do it for any other party, why would the fact that it's about your wedding make it any different?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You can have a BBQ anytime you want, just don't make any mention of your wedding. As others said, you can't invite people to pre-wedding parties who are not invited to the wedding and you can't throw your own shower.

mary9449

Anybody that is invited to anything wedding related should be invited to the wedding/reception. It comes off as rude and gift grabby otherwise.

Mrs.B6302007

As a fellow teacher, you need to be extremely careful about mixing your professional and private lives.  That could be a potential problem with your job status. 

twixinthemix

FI and I are both teachers.  FI is a band director and the Band Boosters asked to throw us an open house so they can get to know me.  In this case, we are not throwing the open house, someone else is throwing it for us.  So unless the first grade parents ask to throw a party for you, then don't do one. 

Murfle11

As PP have said, no, it's a bad idea. I'm doing a small wedding as well, so such is life, some people can't go, and that's the reality. Not that I'm being insensitive, but people have the mentality nowadays that if you don't invite everyone you know, someone is going to throw a potato bomb through your window and egg your house because they were offended. Since I still want my friends and my parent's friends to be involved, I am throwing an "after-party" a few weeks after the honeymoon that I'm going to invite everyone to. So no gift pressure, it's laid back, and you still have your friends celebrating with you.

mandi921vh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_can-invite-people-bridal-shower-not-invite-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:ac6c1ac7-fa54-4809-a812-36243b25fc21Post:19638fc0-047d-41c0-968b-e8b980165a3a">Re: Can i invite people to my bridal shower and not invite them to the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]People get offended if you invite them to any pre-wedding party and then they don't get invited to the wedding. Plus, it is pretty tacky. By choosing to have a small wedding you are choosing to have small pre-wedding parties. So just have a summer BBQ with no mention of the wedding.
Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div>