can someone explain vows and ring exchange?

josephandtahni

Okay, so although I have been to many weddings, somehow I am still mixed up about about the differences between the vows and the exchanging of the rings.  If we want to write our own vows do we say them or does the minister ask us them and then we say I do?

And do we write our ring exchange words as well? And that is the part we repeat after the minister?

Thanks!

AKG_JGJ

The part where you say "I do." is the the declaration of intent. 

Usually followed by that are the wedding vows. You can write your own vows or you can recite traditional vows. The traditional vows go something like "I ____ take you ____ to be my lawful wedded husband/wife...." etc.

Usually after this is the exchange of the rings. Usually the officiant has you recite something here such as "With this ring I thee wed." You are then pronounced husband and wife.

Check out these links for more info. They're for a non-religious ceremony, but give you the general idea of how the ceremony goes for most weddings.

http://www.perfect-wedding-day.com/wedding-ceremony.html

http://weddings.about.com/od/yourweddingceremony/a/weddingceremony.htm

Hope this helps. I've had to look up ceremony wording because we're having a relative perform our ceremony.

RealWedding

Intent is different things in different states and religions, and can be the "charge to the couple" or the part where the couple each state that they are free to marry (of age, and are not married to anyone else), and is required in some states.

The vows, if you wish to do them (or if they're required for your ceremony) is where you "swear" or "promise" to whatever you wish--not cheat on one another (stay true) or not wear foolish clothes, or whatever.

The ring exchange, in most cases, is done toward the end of the ceremony and can sometimes be accompanies by the officiant saying something like "Suzy and Johnny will now exchange rings. . ."  and then you can say what is required or what you'd like. 

RaiKai

Depends on where you are. DIfferent jurisdictions have different legal requirements on "what must be said" and so on .

In our ceremony, we did some declarations (i.e. that we did not have any impediment to marry). The declarations were repeated after the officiant and were required. Then we followed with an "I DO" part that was not required, but we liked, and it was repeated after the officiant.

This followed with the vows DH and I wrote ourselves individually. If you write your own vows, generally you say them yourself - the officiant will say something to the effect you have chosen to write your own and will then allow you to go.

Following that was the exchange of rings, which was followed by the declaration of marriage. We were able to choose what to say with the exchange of rings however we did repeat after the  officiant.

josephandtahni

thank you all! this was really beneficial!