Too young or not?

ambarrose

I'm 15 and i'm going to get marred when i'm 18 do you think it's too young?

ExpatPumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_young-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:adecd911-1fcf-496a-b22a-d231f12a2ee5Post:a7b29f7e-d5e9-47de-97c7-9df5f65ae8d5">Too young or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm 15 and i'm going to get marred when i'm 18 do you think it's too young?
Posted by ambarrose[/QUOTE]

Yes, I think that's too young :) 

I also think that you probably won't have to worry about this in three years because relationships don't usually last that long at your age.  Instead of focusing on marriage as a goal for when you turn 18, why not college?  I PROMISE it's more fun :)

Oh, and I waited until I was 30 to get married - I didn't even meet him until I was 24 ;)  I accomplished so much before getting married so I have no regrets... 

jeanna85

i think you're thinking too far ahead. have fun hanging out with your friends and your boyfriend. you will probably be more excited about going to college when you're 18 and put off getting married anyway. enjoy your teenage years, they go by way too quickly!

[Deleted User]

Yes it's too young.  

I agree plan on going away to college, getting an education and having a blast.  I wouldn't trade those years for anything.  

Thank god I didn't marry the guys I dated in high school and college- I needed to learn what I wanted and didn't want in a husband.  

Go to the prom, you'll get to wear a pretty dress.

MyNameIsNot

Yes, too young. 

On the bright side, most relationships at your age don't last that long, so you'll be fine.  Don't focus on things like getting married right now.  Focus on high school and boyfriends and girlfriends.  You'll probably spend 50 years of your life married, but you only get to be single for maybe 20-30 years.  You don't even get to be irresponsible for that many.  Enjoy them while you can.

duckie1905

yes, that's too young.  But, luckily, you probably won't make it to 18 with your current boyfriend so really, you have nothing to worry about.  Enjoy being 15.  The days when you'll be getting married and forced to have adult responsibilities will be upon you soon enough.

Jazzy_belle

The fact that you even need to ask shows that you are too young.

Enjoy life.  You have lots of time to get married. 

[Deleted User]

Yepperooni.

gdyup7

Yes.  My thought is if you are not able to drink alcohol at your own wedding, you are too young.

janedoe1113a

Yup, you shouldn't even be thinking about marriage at the age of 15.

squirrly

Yes, I think 15 is too young to get engaged and 18 is too young to get married.  My evidence:

• A high school senior I coached a couple of years ago got engaged at 17, planning to get married at 19 - the wedding would have been this past July.  In September she introduced me to her boyfriend of six months when I ran into her at the grocery.
• I know 5 or 6 people that (after college) married their high school sweethearts.  All but one are now divored.  The one still married is only married because she can't figure out how to be a single parent to her two kids. 

You have so much time left in life to find the right partner.  Enjoy high school.  Date your boyfriend and enjoy that too.  But, don't get married yet.  Go to college, figure out what career you want, etc.  When you're a little older, you'll have a better idea of what you NEED in a relationship as an adult to thrive.  Until you're actually an adult, it's really hard to know that.  This guy might be "the one."  But there's really no way to know that for about another ten years.

goheels05

Why wait til your 18?  There's at least a couple states that will happily marry you now.

janedoe1113a

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_young-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:adecd911-1fcf-496a-b22a-d231f12a2ee5Post:b552b0d7-8657-4eb9-8201-9a434856586a">Re: Too young or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why wait til your 18?  There's at least a couple states that will happily marry you now.
Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

Don't give them any ideas Heels.

notquiteblushing

Yes.  In fact you are too young to talk to strangers on the Internet.  Can I speak to your parents?

AnneMargaret

Yesterday, I got a package from my mom.  In it was a copy of a page from Reader's Digest.  The title of the article was "You're a dumb criminal if..."  One of the stories was about a man who was so drunk that he mistook a police station for a hotel, walked in to get a room, and got arrested for a DWI.  The man = my ex boyfriend.  I dated him when I was 19.  I hope that your boyfriend would never do such a thing, but how can you really know at 15?  You shouldn't even think about marrying someone until he has an education and a steady job, and is mature enough to take care of you and your future children.  I'm not saying you should wait til you're 30 (I'll be 23 and my FI will be 26 when we get married), but a lot of stuff happens between 15 and 18 and between 18 and 22.

kdqueen16

I am not going to judge your situation, my dear, but in my opinion I think it is a little early to be thinking about marriage. It is great that you are in a solid relationship at the moment. That is more than most people at your age can accomplish. However, you have many hard years of high school and just life in general ahead of you!

When I was in high school, I always told myself that I would only date someone that I was going to marry. I liked many boys, but when they asked me to date them I would always turn them down. That is until I met my fiance. He was my first person I dated and my first kiss! I wouldn't change it for the world. I think it is great to be marriage minded when you date someone. There is no need to get heart broken over a boy that you will never get far with. However, to make actual plans at 15 is a bit much.

Enjoy your relationship! I am not saying that it will or will not make it till you are 18! That is rare, but it is not unheard of! Just guard your heart and do what you think is right! Hang in there time will fly by!

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_young-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:adecd911-1fcf-496a-b22a-d231f12a2ee5Post:5bf26c3a-9233-4842-a3be-fdba99274efb">Re: Too young or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]There is no need to get heart broken over a boy that you will never get far with.
Posted by kdqueen16[/QUOTE]

Of course there is!  Everyone needs to feel that pain and get over it in their life.  It's a learning experience that we all need to go through to make us all ready to make that commitment to the right person.

Afterall, the reason it's called first love is because there are supposed to be more afterwards.

megk8oz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_young-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:adecd911-1fcf-496a-b22a-d231f12a2ee5Post:d59c8d2a-f520-4bed-bad9-e1b26fa45728">Re: Too young or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Too young or not? : Of course there is!  Everyone needs to feel that pain and get over it in their life.  It's a learning experience that we all need to go through to make us all ready to make that commitment to the right person. Afterall, the reason it's called first love is because there are supposed to be more afterwards.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

Ditto to My Name on this. I forget who it was but for the longest time somebody had in their siggy "You don't get a medal if you marry your prom date".

BHosford

When I was 15 I dated a guy almost four years older than me. I was a freshman in high school and he, a senior. We were still dating going into my junior year of high school and had definitely made plans to get married when I "came of age." About a month into my junior year I found out he'd been sleeping with girls he met at college parties. We broke up and both went on our separate ways.

I was single the rest of high school and for my first few years of college. After being in such a serious relationship for so long it felt so refreshing to be single and just enoy hanging out with friends, seeing other guys and being who I wanted to be.

I ran into my ex-boyfriend awhile ago and we stopped and chatted. He thanked me for breaking up with him and told me that we should have years before. We agreed that your high school and college years are too young to be so serious. We should have enjoyed being young and the experience of meeting people.

So yes, I'd say, from experience, 15 is way too young. I know that you might feel angry at people for saying that. I was there, too. I scoffed at my parents when they told me the same thing. I'm not saying break up with anyone, just take your time. Enjoy high school and college. Meet new people, meet new guys! Hold off on marriage until you're a bit older

peebles7

i think a lot of people think of marriage as a romantic ideal as teenagers... but 18 is way too young.  i think you need time to find yourself, develop into the person that you're going to be for the rest of your life. 
your current boyfriend might be the right person for you, and if he is, he still will be when you're 21!
please finish high school, find a nice college and live your life as an unencumbered person - use your years to make decisions only for yourself - that isn't selfish... it helps shape you.

jenn.daniel

I see you're in Kansas.  What if you wanted to go to college in Florida or California?  Would being married stop you from getting your education?  If you and your guy still get an education, I don't have a problem with getting married at 18.

No matter what, I thnk 15 is too young to be engaged.

tmwagner

I think you know you're not ready.

If he's the one he will still be there in a few years.

fishieballerina

Yes, and here is why:

I am not saying that you two won't be together by then, you may (my parents dated in high school and are now celebrating nearly 30 years of marriage). Even at 18 you do not have the life experience needed to be in a VERY successful marriages. (There are a few cases, but these are extraordinary cases). At 18 you are still discovering who YOU are, it is not a time to also be trying to figure out bills, families, tough situations, etc. Married life is more than a pretty white dress and a bunch of flowers. It is hard and a lot of work. It would be terrible to go through all the work and expense to get married just to have to struggle day in and day out to keep a marriage working (or end up getting a divorce).

Wait, discover yourself and the world. If this guy is really your one true love, he will help you discover the world and will wait with you until you are both ready to get married.

To whoever said that just because she asked the question means she is too young, not true. I have my moments when I ask myself if I am too young (I will be 23 when I get married). My FH is the first guy I ever dated. But I knew, even when we first started dating, what I wanted and do not think I am too immature to get married. The only reason why I ask myself that is because I always thought I would be one of those people who got married late in life because of my high expectations.

Like I said, my parents dated in high school, but they went out and got an education and saw the world. They married when they were 26 years old and are now nearing 30 years of marriage. If you really think he is the one, wait. If he is, you will still be together in five/ten years.

Good luck

caracbeara

I am totally a different person now than I was when I was 15.

That said..I am going to be married to my high school sweetheart this summer! We dated through high school then hit a rough spot when my dad died. We took some time off, traveled the world seperately and then fell back in love! I'm SO happy that it happened this way. It feels fresh and new when in fact we DID date in high school. I'm also happy that we waited until after college to get married. College is busy enough without planning a wedding!! Plus weddings cost $$.

Good luck in whatever you do, but remember that a wedding is joining your life with someone else's for a lifetime. It's certainly fun and pretty, but it wont be so glamorous when times get tough. Wait! I promise it'll be worth it!

liz745

i know people who have gotten married at 18 and 19. But 15 is way to young to be thinking about it. Enjoy high school and life. think about college before you think about marriage. Marriage is hard work and a lot of responsibility, not many 18 year olds are ready for that type of commitment. Also when you get married, especially at a young age you will have to sacrifce some of your dreams. Dont worry about it for now. it will happen if its meant to be, when its meant to be.

ocprincess

Personally, I think 15 is too young to date.  :-p

But then, I come from the school of date to find a spouce, so if you aren't ready to marry (or at least, close to it...like, if you want to be a college grad, and are currently a junior, go ahead and date, but if you want to go to college before marriage, dating at 15 is a bit pointless...just be friends with guys.)

Dmatthews450

Engagement is a huge decision and at 18 you will be (presumeably) graduating highschool, working, your first year in college, away from your parents the first time etc. trust me, having just recently been there myself(I and my boyfriend are twenty) All that is plenty to deal with without the added stress of a wedding. If you feel you are ready to make a commitment, get a promise ring!

karialex

For sure! I know everyone has said a lot of the same things that I'm about to say, but I want to put in my two cents as well.
I'm pretty young still and my fiance is younger than me. I'm 23, he's 22.

When I was 15 I dated this incredible guy... it only ended up lasting about 5 months. 3 years later we got back together and dated for 2 years and I was convinced he and I were going to get married. In the end I broke up with him because I couldn't stand that a 24 year old man would play video games non-stop and he basically stopped paying attention to me.

I'm glad that I had that relationship and that I learned what I want and don't want from it... as well as the experiences I had after him. But had I not had that relationship and that disappointment I wouldn't have found the incredible man that I'm about to marry, who couldn't be more perfect for me. He still plays video games, but he definitely finds me more important!

There is a big difference in your mental and emotional maturity between the ages of 15 and 18, and whole heck of a lot of living to do. I have traveled the world, even spent a year by myself in Europe when I was 17, went to a women's university, and have volunteered my time and energy to animals, abused women and children, homeless, etc. Get yourself out there, live your life before you decide to dedicate it someone else. You should also make sure that that person is interested in the life goals you have. My fiance really wants to travel and even though I've been to about 10 countries, I would love to go with him, show him where I have been, or let him go explore on his own. I have a dream to work with animals and he's helping me achieve that! (Just examples)

Also, your boyfriend now may or may not be the best match for you in the next few years. People change so much as they grow and experience new things. You may find that as you grow older, you grow apart because you change. Or you may find that you grow and change together for the better. But I think it's worth it to wait and see before you make that comittment.

Good luck to you, and think before you act. Trust me, you'll be happy in the long run if you wait. Don't let the excitement of a wedding lead you to make a poor decision, because in the end you may be stuck in a marriage you don't want and maybe have to worry about children if things don't work out!

Bennyswoman4

You probably aren't fully developed into the person you are going to be as an adult, you should reevaluate when you are 18 and then ask again I know a lot of 18 year olds who are very mature for their age and act more like adults than some 35 year olds who get married so it all depends on the person, not the age.  I would definitely make sure that you know that you are mature enough and that he is your soulmate for life, otherwise, any doubts, either wait longer or move on