Who's should go?

MeganJasonDerby

My Fience and I are wanting to go look at the reception hall this weekend we are fairly sure its the one were going to use. As both of our parents are fairly close to the hall I was going to invite both parents so they could both see where it is and see inside other than the one picture online. His parents don't know where its at and its out of the way for them to just drive by like 40 minutes out of the way. My mom thinks it should just be my parents and us. If you were in this situation who should be going?

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_whos-should-go?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:b807cc99-140d-44ed-b143-017e98adbf72Post:3d1b3d1b-8fb5-4674-94e9-a2fb2c4aaa7c">Who's should go?</a>:
[QUOTE]My Fience and I are wanting to go look at the reception hall this weekend we are fairly sure its the one were going to use. As both of our parents are fairly close to the hall I was going to invite both parents so they could both see where it is and see inside other than the one picture online. His parents don't know where its at and its out of the way for them to just drive by like 40 minutes out of the way. My mom thinks it should just be my parents and us. If you were in this situation who should be going?
Posted by MeganJasonDerby[/QUOTE]

Invite everybody. Let them decide if they want to make the drive or not.

Is your screen name your real names?

Simply Fated

Why does your mom think it should just be them and you two? Why doesn't she want your future in-laws to go?

Avion22

I think it woud be nice to invite your in-laws and let them decide if they want to come, but it's not a requirement, especially if they are contributing money.

However, keep in mind that more opinions isn't always better.  It could get too stressful to have everyone there.  Maybe you could wait and bring the FILs to see if after you've already signed a contract?

Hilraythebride

I brought my mom and my FI's mom, they both appriciated being able to see the places after we had narrowed it down.

Also as a PP has mentioned if that is your full name, I would recommend deleating this account and opening a new one with a nick name for your safety.

OliveOilsMom

We invited my parents and FMIL.  My dad thought it was odd and actually asked me: Why is FI coming with us to look at the reception halls?  I thought he was asking me a trick question and answered, because its his wedding too.  When my parents married, my dad and his family basically stayed out of the reception hall stuff, since that is tradionally what the bride's family pays for.  And he thought it was kinda the same now. 

So invite everyone and let them decide for themselves to attend or not. 

And as PP said, if your screenname is your real name, please change it for internet safety reasons.

TiffannieF

I don't see the big deal. Nobody saw what the reception hall looked like until the wedding. That being said, I don't believe your future ILs would be offended if you just asked.

Honeybumble

That's weird that your mom wants to exclude your FILs. We took our parents to the venue after we signed the contract.

jemmini6

I'm no help here, my H and I were the only ones who saw the venue prior to the wedding. 

tortaweeni

My husband and I went to check out places ourselfs first. When we found one we wanted to use we invited my parents and his to go look at it. And it is true more options is not always better. Make sure you tell the family that is coming that you and your fiance really like this venue and you are inviting them to help with decorating tip or something so they know not to be to negative about it.

SCogs18

Who is paying for the wedding/reception hall?  If FI's parents are not contributing financially and your parents are, I can see why your mother would not want them helping make decisions (especially when it's on your parent's dime).

[Deleted User]

FI's mom came with FI, my mom, & me to look at one place & then a couple weekends later FI's parents came down & we made a day of looking at venues with them & my mom. FI's mom was extremely helpful, asking questions that I didn't think to ask. I'm glad we were able to share the experience with them.

kimiandgary

I went with just my parents but mainly because it is out of state. We brought a video camera and documented the walk through so the in-laws could see it and they loved that.

Just a thoguht in case your mom is really against them coming.. but that is a little odd.

whitney37354

IMO, those who pay should be the ones going.  It would be nice to invite the in-laws, but let them know they don't have to come if it's inconvenient.  Everybody just nod & smile, & you'll get through it!

Simply_Caitlin

Maybe her mom is being sentimental about her baby getting married and wants to have that moment with her?  Might not be anything against the future in laws.