I Don't Want A Head Table...

SeptemberFall2011

I have a problem with my mother.  Everyone is happy with the venue my fiance and I selected.  The problem is that it's a resort and doesn't really have a good place for a head table except in this one room and the placement of the table would practically be on the dance floor.  (Mom made a point to ask despite I told her I did not want a head table.)

Most of my bridal party have their own families and being the big family person I am I feel it's more important that they eat with their family than sit by me just because they were a bridesmaid or an groomsman.

My fiance likes the sweetheart table idea and thinks it would be nice as two of his groomsmen are still single and probably will be bringing dates that don't know anyone but the groomsman.

Any ideas on how to drill it into Mom's head that there is no head table? 

aerinpegadrak

Why is this your mom's decision?

Beachy730

Ditto PPs.  Unless your mom is paying and having full control, then tell the venue the seating arrangement you want.  If your mom is paying and insisting on it, consider paying for it yourself.

xCorset

I agree. Unless she's paying for everything, it's really your choice. Even then, it's your wedding and she should respect your happy day. 

SeptemberFall2011

It's split between me, fiance, my parents, and his parents.  His parents are whatever we want we get my parents have an opinion or two...or 20.

Amisslis

Why is she so insistent about having a head table? Also, you are an adult. Ergo, you can decide where/how to sit.

AllyR75

just tell her that there is none and i would just change the subject if she keeps asking...or if it gets really annoying and you can't handle it anymore just change it last minute so she won't know until she gets there lol

SeptemberFall2011

I am very tempted to do that Ally...it's also what I am already doing on one wedding detail so why not add this one right? 

Thanks for the thoughts girls!

Amisslis-(I hope I spelled this right) She wants the head table because "It's tradition and "everyone" would like to see it.  I am kinda like I doubt this is as big of a deal she claims it to be as there will be a large number of kids (the baby count of those being born from now-May 2011 is multiplying..or adding up quickly)

tasharocks

Septemberfall -- why are you BSC on the Sept 2011 board, but normal here? haven't you noticed our dicussion today about your chronic post and runs? we're sincerely  looking to get your side of the story

SuMmErKuTiE

You can tell your mom that head tables are an outdated tradition and most people have either a sweetheart table or sit amongst their guests now. I've been to 8 weddings in the past few years and have not seen a single head table. You can also explain to her that your wedding party will be very thankful that they get to sit with their SO's, family, and friends. I know my wedding party was very relieved and happy we did it this way. We had a sweetheart table which was great because it gave us the only 5-10 minutes alone that day and we were able to just relax and enjoy a few moments alone while eating.

It's really not up to your mom especially since she's not footing the entire bill, I would just do what you and your FI want and change the subject if she insists on bringing it up constantly.

phillychica85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_dont-want-head-table?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:b8cc2a58-149c-40e6-bbc3-bd79b4566e59Post:62930bc3-bee7-454f-9fa8-873c5830fc5c">Re: I Don't Want A Head Table...</a>:
[QUOTE]You can tell your mom that head tables are an outdated tradition and most people have either a sweetheart table or sit amongst their guests now. I've been to 8 weddings in the past few years and have not seen a single head table. You can also explain to her that your wedding party will be very thankful that they get to sit with their SO's, family, and friends. I know my wedding party was very relieved and happy we did it this way. We had a sweetheart table which was great because it gave us the only 5-10 minutes alone that day and we were able to just relax and enjoy a few moments alone while eating. It's really not up to your mom especially since she's not footing the entire bill, I would just do what you and your FI want and change the subject if she insists on bringing it up constantly.
Posted by SuMmErKuTiE[/QUOTE]


This completely! I abhore head tables. I think they look so trite and as SuMmErKuTie said they're extremely outdated. We also had a sweettable and loved it and I know members of our bridal party were so appreciative about being able to sit with their significant others. This is something you and your FI should have 100% say over.

pretzelgrrl

To Tasha Rocks-
   Just because someone does not respond back does not mean they are posting and running.  I posted a question and I am watching the thread to see all the opinions but I don't really think you need to always respond back...I posted to get all the opinions and take it in...unless people have a specific question to help form an opinion then I respond.

dimondsandlace

We did not have a "head table" persay, but had us and our parents sit up front until the dance started, then moved the tables off the floor so we could mingle.  The bridal party sat with their families/friends. Do what makes you happy--it's your day.

lsvensson

Another option, if you're concerned about your BMs/GMs not being able to sit with their dates: try a King's Table.  It's a long banquet table that allows your wedding party AND their dates to sit down each of the long ends, while you and DH sit next to each other at the head.  Just a thought, might appease everyone in this situation.

tasharocks

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_dont-want-head-table?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:b8cc2a58-149c-40e6-bbc3-bd79b4566e59Post:52ffa212-803a-451d-90ef-aa26aac8f03c">Re: I Don't Want A Head Table...</a>:
[QUOTE]To Tasha Rocks-    Just because someone does not respond back does not mean they are posting and running.  I posted a question and I am watching the thread to see all the opinions but I don't really think you need to always respond back...I posted to get all the opinions and take it in...<strong>unless people have a specific question </strong>to help form an opinion then I respond.
Posted by pretzelgrrl[/QUOTE]
it was a major problem of her starting drama and not answering our questions. she'd constantly post and when a discussion didn't go the way she wanted, she'd just start another one. she even created a new screen name at one point, but was easily recognized because the name and writing style were so similar. oh well, i believe she's gone now.

pinktulips2012

maybe try a sweetheart table?