*Two* Bach Parties?

Sarah&Nick0530

So...I looked to see if there was a post like this, and I couldn't find one...but apologies if this has been asked before...

Background info:  My FI is in TN, I am in TX.  The wedding is here.  I'll be moving up to TN with him after the wedding (literaly--just after).  His family is coming from TN and Minnesota for the wedding (Sunday) on Saturday...

My FSIL emailed me yesterday, asking when my Bachelorette party was. She wondered if it would be near when the wedding was and if it wasn't, she wanted to plan something with the girls I know up in TN for me.  I told her I didn't know (I wanted to be completely hands-off with the whole Bach thing), that I'd get back to her on that. 

I emailed my MOH, asking her when and made the mistake of saying that FSIL wanted to know for doing something for me.  My MOH flipped.  She says, "You might say that she's not trying to intrude, but she is.  I'm not gonna take it personally because I understand her personality, but that's MY and (other BM's name) department and we've already got plans underway..."  She basically went on to say that I can only have one Bach party....

Sooo...are two Bach parties a "no-no"?  The date that my MOH ended up telling me is gonna be a week before the wedding--when the girls from TN won't be here.  So what do I do?  I don't want to offend my MOH, but my FSIL was just being sweet in offering to organize something for me and I don't want to offend her either...*sigh* 

maria.pedroza

Have your TN party.

Your MOH sounds like she wouldn't have fun with your FSIL anyway, so spare her the drama of sharing time with her.

I don't understand why your MOH wants you to not be celebrated by other people she doesn't necessarily or wouldn't invite to your bach party.

future-mrs

I'd stay out of it...completely.  Direct your FSIL to one of your BM's or MOH (preferably one she'd get along with) and leave it at that.  All parties/showers/etc. are up to the people planning them for you.  Just my 2 cents.

Sarah&Nick0530

Maria--I don't understand why she doesn't either...

future-mrs--The only problem is that all my BMs and MOH are here, so she couldn't really plan something up there with someone down here (who she's never met, either...).  She's already organized and thrown us a shower with other people up in TN... I think she just wanted to know if the date was when the TN people wouldn't be here so she could have the go-ahead to start planning something with the girls up there...not sure, but I'd take a good guess that that's it. 

trix1223

Why do they both have to be bach. parties?  Can't one just be a get together with friends?  Every party in the coming months doesn't have to be somehow wedding themed, after all.

Sarah&Nick0530

Thanks Stage, I most def have learned my lesson with this...

Trix--my FSIL didn't specify it was specificly a "Bach. party"...but she had meantioned to me before (on another occasion) that if she couldn't make it down to TX for the Bach. party here, she wanted to throw another one up in TN for me.  In her email (from above), she only said "I'd like to get the girls up here to do something special for you."  So that could be a Bach-y thing or a tea or who knows what! lol  (she might just be itching to embarrass me or my FI with some raunchy lingerie for all I know!)

asineni

I'm actually having two. I have a group of friends that don't live around here and it's considerably less expensive for everyone to chip in and fly me to where they are then for the five of them to come to me. If you want to have two...have two. One can be a more low-key affair than the other.

nikiandchris

I'm totally having two! It started because FBIL decided to do a bach party for FI out of town and didn't invite the dads. My dad was way bummed that he couldn't go, so I basically told FI he HAS to have a second bach party in town so that the dads can go, and his friends who can't make it out of town for a whole weekend can go to the in town one now too- my MOH's FI (also a fraternity brother) quickly and happily volunteered to plan it. So then I figured if he gets to have 2, I get 2 as well. Besides, I know I'd be sitting around either at work or at home wondering where he is and what he's up to (not that I don't trust him, I just want to keep myself busy so I don't worry about him). So me and my girls are doing a more low key and relaxing weekend at my parents' cottage while the boys are out of town, and my official bachelorette party is in town the night of his 2nd bach party.

miah_23_ncb

have your two parties. I think its important to remind peopele to pick thir battles. Its your wedding not hers.