Invite SIL to shower?

llgus

Background:
My brother got married to his wife last year (after only knowing her for a few months). They had a very rural wedding where they didn't invite many people. Therefore most of my parents friends have never met my brother's wife.
 
My mom and her two best friends (who all have daughters around my age) started a tradition when the first daughter of the group got married years ago for a shower. Every time there's a wedding, baby, etc of the daughters of my mom and her friends, we get together at a restaurant and have an intimate shower with our group. We've had this tradition with the same people for almost 10 years now. I've grown up with my mom's friends and their kids.
I'm getting married and it's my turn for the shower that we do with this group of gals.
I don't really want to invite my SIL for a few reasons: 1- I hardly know her. I've only really met her two times, a family christmas and their wedding. 2 - she's pregnant now and with our group of people (that we have this tradition with) haven't met her and I'm being a brat and don't want her to come because she'll take the attention away from me and my day. My bro has always overshadowed me and for once, it should be about me and my day and I don't want to invite someone into our "group" at this function.
Am I being too oversensitive by not wanting her at this shower (there will be many more she can come to). I just don't think this is the right venue to introduce her to our group.
Thoughts?!?!?!?!

skippylouwho

I'm not saying you have to invite her to this particular party but am asking this question: if you don't spend time with her how will you ever get to know her? 

I understand not wanting your brother's wife around. I couldn't stand my brother's wife,she is completely  white trash. I never said a word, he never had a clue. But the day he told me they were getting a divorce I finally told him what I thought of her and that I had been shocked the day he told me he was marrying her. I also then told him some things he didn't know about her. I didn't do this while they were married for just that reason. He is my only sibling, he chose her and I wasn't going to let her come between us so I kept my mouth shut - until that one day....

Sorry - I got off track. I do think at some point you need to spend some time with her, try to get to know her. Do give her the benefit of the doubt. I did and it still turned out my xSIL really is just white trash.  But your SIL might be a really good person that you would enjoy.

stmoreno

Seeing as it is an intimate group gathering of women that you have know almost all your life and it's tradition I don't think it's wrong of you not to invite her. I am sure they are other shower's or wedding related GTG you can invite her too. But I will agree with PP and say I think you should try to give her the benefit of the doubt and get to know her.

MairePoppy

If it's just the six of you (3mothers, 3 daughters) then it would probably be ok. Just don't discuss it with outsiders. If you are inviting other family members, then you should include your SIL.How does your mom feel about it?
And I'd like to echo SkippyLou: 'If you don't spend time with her, how will you ever get to know her?'