FI doesn't want a wedding, just wants to elope

mollysophia

Fi and I have been engaged for about 6 months now and he's just brought up the fact he doesn't want a wedding. He would rather elope. I understand his reasons (expensive, doesn't like loads of people) but I, like many other ladies, have always dreamed of the dress and the ceramony and all of that. I know it's not about the material things and I don't view it that way, but I feel it's important (I thought he did too) to share our day with our friends and family. He says he still wants to do the wedding (he's "not spending a dime" from his side (understandable, we just bought a house and don't have much to spare, my family says they will help with it)) It just hurts knowing that he doesn't want to have it. Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated.

foxyshan

My fiance and I are essentially eloping next month - but we're still including some traditional elements. We're getting married in a garden in Banff National Park (in the Canadian Rockies) with a handful of our local closest friends and family (12 people including us), I have a gorgeous Maggie Sottero dress and we're going out to one of our favourite steakhouses for dinner afterward.

Neither of us wanted to spend a ton of money on a big party and we both want the day to be about us, not impressing other people or trying to please everyone. My point is, you can still have the things that are important to you while keeping the event small enough for his liking.

Milagros121

I'd rather elope but can't because of fiance's mother

longman801

Has anyone used?
http://www.theweddingstyle.com/aline-wedding-dresses-c-10.html

_Dagney_

Would he be willing to have a ceremony with IMMEDIATE family followed by a nice dinner?

You could still wear a wedding gown and keep the whole thing to under 20 guests.

Would YOU be okay with that?

You could still walk down an aisle, cut a cake, maybe even have a first dance and a dance with your father.

It could be lovely.

I would take his feelings into consideration, but surely a comprimise could be reached.

InfamousQBert

my fiancee didn't really want a big wedding either. i explained to her how much it meant to me to have our friends and family stand up and voice their support for our marriage and she understood. her family SUCKS with a capital S, so she never had that sense needing/wanting their blessing. she understands that i want/need that though. now that we're so close, she's REALLY excited about the whole thing and has had a complete change of heart.

you might think about ways you can involve him, which could help too. be sure you ask him about even little things (without being pestery about it). if he realizes that you really want it to be BOTH of your day (awkward phrase there), he might come around to it, too.

Belle2Be

I would figure out what image you both have in your heads. A big bash? 300+ people? 20 people? Catered dining or a Buffet or even a potluck? A wedding party?  On the beach, in the jungle, in a church? Write out the image you see in your head, and talk about it. Find out what his image is

There are countless ways to do a wedding, it sounds like you just need to get on the same page