List of Day-Of Stuff Not To Forget?

abw0601

Anyone know where I can find a list of all the duties the bride should be divying out to friends and loved ones on the day-of?  I haven't come across one and my brain is slowly turning to mush from the overload of doing so much lately.  Thanks a mill!

calliopeia2013

Unfortunately, I don't think there's an easy answer, because it depends on what your vendors, and planner if you have one, are taking care of and what they're not.  (For example, what are your vendors delivering versus things you'll have to have someone pick up and take to your venue?)

The easiest thing might be to make a giant to-do list with every single thing that needs to be at the venue for your wedding (from flower girl baskets to the marriage license to the bridesmaids!), and then figure out how each thing is getting there.  Oh, and if you're getting overwhelmed calling up people who didn't RSVP, you can ask for help on that, too.  But really, most of the pre-wedding tasks just amount to making sure everything ends up in the right place at the right time.

Lisa50

As you work with each of your vendors, you may want to ask what their plans are for delivery and set-up, timing, etc.  It might help if you discuss things/to dos with your venue manager.

As PP mentioned, there is not an easy answer.  Finding time to walk through the day -- visualizing every minute -- and making notes as you do so, may help.

Good luck!

OBX2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_list-of-day-of-stuff-not-to-forget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:c33ab900-161c-4ac1-b7d0-3fe215305762Post:f070160c-341a-4f3a-9893-a14b481c7d3a">List of Day-Of Stuff Not To Forget?</a>:
[QUOTE]Anyone know where I can find <strong>a list of all the duties the bride should be divying out to friends and loved ones on the day-of?</strong>  I haven't come across one and my brain is slowly turning to mush from the overload of doing so much lately.  Thanks a mill!
Posted by abw0601[/QUOTE]

Ummmm......what? 

They aren't servants, they are your BM's.  They get a dress and witness your vows and be the supportive friends that they already are.  That's it.

em01092

Dito OBX. You shouldn't be making your friends and family work on or around your wedding day. Some people may ask to help, so that's different, and there is also a difference between nicely asking your MOH or mom to go pick something up for you at the store versus them serving/catering your wedding reception. 

My rule is if it puts them out or interferes with their ability to get ready, don't ask them to do it. 

AdeleDazeem

I asked nothing of my bridal party except their attendance.  If vendors needed to be paid or dealt with, that was up to me and my fiance to handle.

Girlie1030

I asked my friends and family to:

Taste test the truffles, you know, for quality purposes.
Hang out in the bride's room before the ceremony and have some wine with me. 

I think that anything beyond that list is too much. 

TiffannieF

I believe in my bio under "lists" I have list of things to bring.

RebeccaB88

You need a list of items that you need to be sure to take with you to the venue.

You need a list of all your PAID vendors, their contact info, and what they are required to do per their contracts.  Only people you have hired and are under contract with should have this list.

You need copies of your schedule for the day.

Any legal documents, including copies of contracts. 

Anyone who received an invitation should only be asked to show up and celebrate the day with you.  If they have assigned duties, they should fall under the vendor category and you need to make sure there's a contract and fee schedule for their services. 

melntaitt

Ditto @RebeccaB88; I also have a few other things on my personal list like the cake cutting knife, the invitation frames and a few other items. I didn't require my BMs to do any of that.

If they offer, that's another story, but asking them may put them out of their way.

lmm3491

I don't know. My wedding is going to be on the small side so I fully expect my close friends and family to be helping me set up and things like that. But maybe my family is just helpful like that?

Girlie1030

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_list-of-day-of-stuff-not-to-forget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:c33ab900-161c-4ac1-b7d0-3fe215305762Post:396c6619-338f-4448-8551-e51fda01a04d">Re: List of Day-Of Stuff Not To Forget?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know. My wedding is going to be on the small side so I fully expect my close friends and family to be helping me set up and things like that. But maybe my family is just helpful like that?
Posted by lmm3491[/QUOTE]

If they offer is one thing but you should never expect or demand it of them.  My friends helped us load stuff up at the end of the reception but if they hadn't it would have been totally fine. 

AbbynBrian13

Nobody said she was demanding them to help or forcing them to.. Alot of friends and family want to help out with the wedding. Atleast every one I have been to.. She was just asking what should be on her list.. geez  I have been trying to figure out stuff for my friends and family to do the day of also! I have had so many people asking what they can do and what not.

AngelRiddle

Unless they offer, it's best to assume that they won't be doing anything other than showing up and looking pretty.  If it's within your budget, it may be best to hire a day-of helper for various tasks that need to be done, which is what I'm doing, rather than expecting my family/BM to be everywhere at once in addition to getting ready.

mandctaft

They only thing I was asked to do at my sister's wedding that was extra was to run to our dad's house and pick up her bra which she forgot. I wasn't offended at all. My friend's wedding, I wish she had called me for help because we got the the reception site to set up the night before and she hadn't even started putting together bouquets and then we ran out of flowers. (She was the worst bride ever though, so what are you going to do lol)

Olexa1979

I tend to be a very organized bride, I so have already started putting things together, I have ordered a bag to put all my bridal accessories in, started making envelopes for the cash that I will need for the day of, me, the bridal girls, and FI are getting everything "delivered" the day before, and are really lucky that our event coordinatior at our reception will handle everything else....As I know that my bridal party is very helpful, but I want us to all be relaxed and just enjoy the day.

bencomobride

i am asking each of my bm to bring money for breakfast, each bring a cooler (for our after party) my Maid of Honor is in charge of making sure all the bridesmaids look good, and another brides maid is in charge of keeping the kid attendents in line (she's the mother of 3 of them) also the best man is in charge of making sure all the groomsmen are ready to go. and he is going to deliver the last payment to our musician. the other payment will be taken of prior to the wedding hope that helps

abw0601

Wow.  Okay.  I gave a list to my parents to remind them about the toast and i need help dropping off my truck at the reception site and someone to pack up the wishing tree.  I gave my brother, an usher, a list of usher duties.  I gave my FI's mom and stepdad a list of usher duties and toast reminder and they're packing up our gifts and taking them to our home (where they are staying to avoid hotel costs).  I gave a list to my best friend's mom (our paid Day-Of coordinator) and one to my best friend because I know her mom will rope her in to helping (we'll be tipping them both $100 which my mom will be giving them).  I gave a list to the best man of everything because he's the most forgetful soul I've ever come across.  I gave a list to my MOH that tells her to help me keep calm and let me know when my make up runs.  I'm giving a bridal breakfast to all my women (MOH, mom, gramms, best friends and their moms).  I just didn't know if there was a fool-proof way to keep from forgetting stuff.  Thanks for all the info and advice.  My FI & I are paying for our wedding, so our families don't mind, and yes, have offered, to contribute.  God Bless!