Remembering a beloved dad

onlyprettier

Hi everyone, my fiances father just passed away in December after a very short battle with cancer. It came very unexpected as he was given "weeks" when he got his diagnosis. Although everyone is coping well given the situation, we are all still reeling from the loss. I know the day of the wedding it will really hit everyone that he is not there. My fiance is a autobody technician (damage & collision repair tech) and his dad was in the automotive trade as well. Working in the garage together was a passion they always shared. Daryle (fiances dad) spent years restoring his 1969 road runner, and when brandon (fiance) was a teenager, Daryle helped him restore a 1970 Mont carlo of his own. When daryle passed brandon inherited the road runner, but had crashed the monte 3 years ago and it has sat under a tent until now. He is currently in the process of restoring it again, almost done! Just needs paint and exhaust. He always said he would have BOTH cars at his wedding. So, now the plan is to put an :in loving memory" sticker in the back window of both cars, but we would like to do something else as well to honour him. We would like to be creative and do something special but i am not sure what to do. We dont mind if it is at the ceremony or at the reception. Any ideas?

lnm0705

I always like a nice slide show with maybe an important song to the family.  Pictures have a way of bringing everyone together, making them smile from funny memories, and letting everyone remember fun times that may have been forgotten.

sklink0486

I'm sorry for your fiance's loss. I think that the car is a good idea, but there have been several posts about remembering lost loved ones recently and I think the consensus is that it shouldn't be anything too "in your face" because it really should be a happy day, and everyone who loved him will be thinking of him that day anyways. I personally like when the toast includes a brief mention about a lost loved one or something that maybe only you guys know about- a little something in your fiance's pocket that was his father's? I am playing one of my grandmother's favorite songs during our prelude- "Claire de Lune" but no one knows it except me, fiance, and my mom. 

Honestly though, if you are just trying to let all of your guests know that you guys are thinking about him that day, a small something would be a lot better because anything more and you run the risk of family members, including your fiance getting sad or upset- no matter what he or they may say now.

trix1223

only:  I'm so sorry for your loss. Our SIL's dad passed away 9 months before their wedding as well, and it was hard on our DD and SIL.  In addition, my mom had also passed away 3 weeks before the wedding. so it was the proverbial "double whammy".

Please check out this thread from the ceremony board, though, as it might help you as you're thinking about this:

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards

onlyprettier

thanks everyone, i was thinking about the slideshow thing alot, i really wanted to do it at first as we have a really nice one we put together for the wake. But as you said, although often when we watch it it is with fond memories, other times it is very sad.....i dont want that day to be one of them. I think at the cake table we might put a pic of his mom and dad cutting their cake and one of my mom and dad cutting theirs. And then we are doing the car thing..... so maybe a memorial candle with a nice picture of him too?

NMH2011

My father passed away in October of 2008 of Multiple Myeloma.  We made a donation to the MM Research Foundation and they sent us cards that say "in loving memory of..." for us to put at each place setting.  We are doing that in lieu of favors. 

kitty02kat

if you do a car thing, and are interested in a magnet, Vistaprint almost always has free car magnets that you can design on your own and you only pay shipping.... 

MrsCoopDawg3467

A wedding is a clelebration and with FI's father's passing being so close I think it will probably be still very sensitive to everyone and you dont wanna cause a downer.  The cars sound like an awesome idea.  I agree with the post above putting cards in the favors or somthing suttle.  You could also leave a single flower is place of where his father would have been seated or light a candle somewhere in honor of him.  Or even a small note in the program.

This is what we are doin for my Fi's father's memory.  And beside it will be a pic of them.

jlink006

MrsCoop:I have the same situation, and like the idea of a note in the program..any suggestions of what to write?

MaryjaneA

It's always nice to dedicate the ceremony music in memory of relatives that have passed.