Elopement

MrsSand3r5

Alright, here's the deal! My Fiance and I are planning on having a civil wedding this upcoming August. Unfortunately our parents are not so hot on the idea of us getting married outside of the Mormon temple. We have prayed about it and know that the Lord wants us to be married as soon as possible. We are unable at the time to be married in the Mormon temple, thus the civil ceremony. We are planning on hiding this from our parents until we can get married the way they want it. My question for all of you is how can I do this? What do I need to watch for? What all do I have to change being the bride? I know this sounds immature, and crazy, but we have firmly prayed and believe this is what we must do. Any advice would really help.

redheadfsu

1. You can only get the legal marriage certificate once. That is hard to hide.

2. Marriage records are public records. So anyone can search them. (Many states have them online, so a quick search would expose your lie)

But do not lie to your parents. Plus I'm confused if God wants you married, wouldn't ONLY the Mormon ceremony count to God? The civil ceremony wouldn't make you married in His eyes.

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_elopement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:d637afb8-3417-4275-9bdd-62efeccfa616Post:a5cc17f9-376e-4660-a567-f88c8663144d">Re: Elopement</a>:
[QUOTE]1. You can only get the legal marriage certificate once. That is hard to hide. 2. Marriage records are public records. So anyone can search them. (Many states have them online, so a quick search would expose your lie) But do not lie to your parents . Plus I'm confused if God wants you married, wouldn't ONLY the Mormon ceremony count to God? The civil ceremony wouldn't make you married in His eyes.
Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]
Yep, all of this. You can't do both. You'd be lying to your parents and lying to your church official. The later would be even worse in God's eyes. <div>
</div><div>While I don't know the rules of the Mormon church, I know that in our church, you can't get married in a court and then again there except for very rare circumstances where the country doesn't recognize a religious ceremony as legally binding & church officials aren't considered officiants. That's not the case in the US.</div>

HobokensFury

This is a horrible idea. Please reconsider.

07ultraclassic

You can have your civil marriage and get sealed in the temple together when you're able to get time coordinated. But once you're married, you're married .. temple or not. You can't have a temple wedding after, only a sealing.

I agree - don't hide this from anyone. This is not virtuous of temple endowments. (and church standards aside, you'll likely get found out - marriage applications and filing of ceritificates is public record. Someone, somewhere will likely see it and it will come around to bite you.)

Also-  I see you're in Atlanta - if that's really where you live, there's lots of temples in the south - check out Florida or another close-by state and see if they have a date/time that jives with the dates/times you're looking for. Make it a nice vacation for yourselves.

MyNameIsNot

I suggest you pray together a little more about the idea of lying to your parents.  

If you are mature enough to get married, you are mature enough to explain to your parents that you are doing it your way, not theirs.  

mdeidre

07ultraclassic covered the Mormon side, but can I just say that I've never known God to tell someone to lie?  If you know you need to get married right away, then by all means, do so, but don't start out a covenant relationship steeped in lies.

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_elopement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:d637afb8-3417-4275-9bdd-62efeccfa616Post:2b27df9c-d877-4d0e-ba69-c5e977a5b724">Elopement</a>:
[QUOTE]Alright, here's the deal! My Fiance and I are planning on having a civil wedding this upcoming August. Unfortunately our parents are not so hot on the idea of us getting married outside of the Mormon temple. We have prayed about it and know that the Lord wants us to be married as soon as possible. We are unable at the time to be married in the Mormon temple, thus the civil ceremony. <font color="#800080"><strong>We are planning on hiding this from our parents until we can get married the way they want it. My question for all of you is how can I do this? What do I need to watch for? What all do I have to change being the bride? I know this sounds immature, and crazy, but we have firmly prayed and believe this is what we must do.</strong></font> Any advice would really help.
Posted by MrsSand3r5[/QUOTE]

You're right.  This <u>does</u> sound immature and crazy.  I have prayed many times about many things and never has the answer to my prayers been "lie to your parents." 

And, by the way, marriage is for you and your husband, not your parents.  They're already married. 

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_elopement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:d637afb8-3417-4275-9bdd-62efeccfa616Post:68fa9bfe-9b3b-44f6-b175-212899c86119">Re: Elopement</a>:
[QUOTE]07ultraclassic covered the Mormon side, but can I just say that I've never known God to tell someone to lie?
Posted by mdeidre[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm not Mormon myself, but I agree 100% with this. I cannot believe that would ever be the answer to anyone's prayer.</div><div>
</div><div>By the way, if you're ready to be married, you're ready to stand up to your parents and tell them you're going to get married, outside the church. If you can't do that, you have no business doing so. As someone else pointed out, marriage is public record. It's not meant to be a secret.</div>

janeash

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_elopement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:d637afb8-3417-4275-9bdd-62efeccfa616Post:5de114eb-6823-4d07-ae44-1fecca527414">Re: Elopement</a>:
[QUOTE]This is a horrible idea. Please reconsider.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

<div>This!!</div>

MJandDL

Are you planning on printing out a fake marriage certificate to sign at your temple wedding? I don't see how you could pull this off and it sounds like a stressful way to start your marriage. You realize that you will be participating in this lie for the rest of your life right? If you are able to keep it up you will have to lie to your children one day as well. That sounds like a huge unnecessary and sinful burden to take on. I understand wanting to be married as soon as possibly to the man you love and I'm guessing there might be other reasons you are in a hurry...but please think about all of the challenges and lifelong consequences of this decision. As PP suggested, maybe there is another temple you can marry in. And if not, please be honest with your families and include them in your civil ceremony. They may be sour about it for a time, but it will be better than them latter finding out about your lie (which they eventually will).

RamonaFlowers

I have a hard time believing that you "prayed about this" and the answer God gave you was "Lie to your parents". There just is no way His answer was to violate the 5th and 9th Commandments in one shot.

Kamakanani

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_elopement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:d637afb8-3417-4275-9bdd-62efeccfa616Post:e8bd5877-b469-49f4-b6bb-e34098f0a1b8">Re: Elopement</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a hard time believing that you "prayed about this" and the answer God gave you was "Lie to your parents". There just is no way His answer was to violate the 5th and 9th Commandments in one shot.
Posted by RamonaFlowers[/QUOTE]
This

Meghannsix

I can only echo what PP's have said.  This is a bad idea, please reconsider, pray, whatever you have to do.  Lying is never a good idea, and this lie is a big one, to a lot of important people.

mdeidre

I have a hard time believing that you "prayed about this" and the answer God gave you was "Lie to your parents". There just is no way His answer was to violate the 5th and 9th Commandments in one shot.
Posted by RamonaFlowers

Very good point!

MrsSand3r5

After reading a lot of your posts and once again, praying about it with my fiance, we have officially told our parents. they are very unhappy and i doubt they will participate at all in our wedding, but they know now. thank you all for making me reconsider this. I really appreciate this!!