Only ever attended one of these in my whole life...

Jessieleigh316

I've only ever attended one rehearsal dinner in my whole life, so can someone explain to me what exactly is supposed to go down? What types of places are suitable? Who is supposed to pay? What are you supposed to wear and how do you pass dress code down to your guests? Who are the guests supposed to be anyway??

Sorry, I know that those are a lot of questions, but I am completely oblivious to these particular details. Thanks you guys!

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_only-ever-attended-one-of-whole-life?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:de0c1881-b704-4cc4-9d13-26ca0793c842Post:0eba7235-45df-4e7f-93a4-9171cbf1eef3">Only ever attended one of these in my whole life...</a>:
[QUOTE]I've only ever attended one rehearsal dinner in my whole life, so can someone explain to me what exactly is supposed to go down? What types of places are suitable? Who is supposed to pay? What are you supposed to wear and how do you pass dress code down to your guests? Who are the guests supposed to be anyway?? Sorry, I know that those are a lot of questions, but I am completely oblivious to these particular details. Thanks you guys!
Posted by Jessieleigh316[/QUOTE]

Generally you do your ceremony run through at the ceremony site with anyone involved in the ceremony, and then go somewhere for dinner after. 

Any type of place is suitable for a RD.  Its up to you and whoever is paying to decide what type of RD you want to have or where.  We chose to do a very low key RD because our wedding was so formal, and had it at my aunts house and had Greek food delivered.  A friend of mine who got married a month after us had her RD at the Country Club in the area because her H's family belongs there and insisted on it since they were paying. 

Old school way of thinking is that the groom's family pays for the RD since the bride's family pays for the wedding.  Sometimes still the groom's family does pay for the RD, but it really depends on each couple.  H's parents are divorced and neither are in any financial position to help us wit any of it, so we planned on paying for it ourselves.  My parents ended up paying for it though.  If neither set of parents have offered to pay for it/host it, then you need to plan on paying for it yourselves.

You wear whatever you want.  I've always seen the B&G dress up a little, like a casual dress and maybe shirt and tie.  You can base it on where you are having it.  You don't tell your guests anything about a dress code unless it is required of the venue.  People will choose their attire based on your venue, just like at weddings.

Guests are supposed to be anyone involved in the wedding ceremony plus their spouses/significant others, and immediate family on both sides.  Also, it is polite to invite any OOT guests.  However the guest list is completely up to the discretion of the hosts.  We also chose to include all of our aunts, uncles, and cousins because after who was part of the wedding there was only about 8 people left out of about 40 from the family.  We decided to avoid hurt feelings and just extend the invite to everyone in the family. 

jess9802

Ditto dnbeach12, although I don't think it's rude to not invite out of town guests. The host of the RD certainly may, and it's a nice way to spend a little extra time with those people since the wedding day will be pretty busy.

One of my friends had her RD at Pizza Hut. Another had it at her house; they served Costco lasagnas, salad, French bread, and some sheet cake. My FI's stepsister had her RD at the country club. My FI and I are having a small wedding (45 guests) with no wedding party, so if we even have a rehearsal, the RD will be a BBQ at our house, and we'll invite all of our wedding guests.

MyNameIsNot

The actual rehearsal is a run through of the ceremony.  You figure out who stands where and tell people when to sit/stand.  

For the dinner, anything goes.  You must invite everyone involved in the ceremony and their dates.  If you choose to, you can invite OOT guests, but you don't have to.  

Unless someone offers, you pay.  One or both sets of parents may offer to help.

As far as where to go, anything goes.  The most common thing is a private room in a restaurant, but you can do dinner at your house, a pizza joint, or you can rent a ballroom.  

The attired is dictated by the venue.  People will know how to dress when they find out where you are having it.  If they are confused, they'll ask you.

mysticl

I went to one RD where the bride did mention attire.  But she did it to let people know the place was casual and we didn't have to worry about dressing up. 

We are opting against inviting OOT guests because that would pretty much be the whole wedding guest list. 

Also, if you have kids in the wedding their parents get invited to the RD with them. 

aerinpegadrak

It's just a dinner.  If someone (often the groom's family) steps up to host, great, otherwise it's on the couple to pay.  Otherwise, it can be as formal or as casual as the couple wants.  You must invite anyone who attends the rehearsal, along with their spouses/dates, but beyond that it's up to you.

[Deleted User]

Well, I think the others pretty much summed it up.

My husband's parents hosted ours and it was held at a local historic restaurant which was only about 15 minutes from the church where our rehearsal was.

dizzinea

you pay,
you wear what you want based on your setting,
rehersal dinenrs can be at restaurants or a beachside barbecue, it's up to you.
you invite the wedding party your parents, and if you want any out of town guests, but this is optional

LeahDVM2003

Don't forget to give a toast or little speech thanking your wedding party.  This is also when you give them their gifts.

2dBride

We ordered pizza the night before, and had it delivered to the house where all the guests were staying.  That way, we got some informal time with our guests outside of the formal events.  As is common in Jewish ceremonies, we didn't even have a rehearsal.

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_remember-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a73ee2a2-33c3-4d6d-b5c6-93f92471ef18Post:8e789664-9afd-4f56-b9ed-ef61d6f2ed89">Re: Remember When...</a>:
[QUOTE]Remember Rescue: 911?
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
YES! and Unsolved Mysteries.

laladypoet

what. the. fuuck? sorry y'all. I was in a thread on E and apparently the knot is stupid.

yankeesprincess25

My soon to be sis in law had her rehearsal dinner at the reception site, after the rehearsal we all went over and decorated the hall and she ordered pizza from a more top of the line italian cuisine...it worked out perfect.