I am recently engaged and wondering about traditions regarding second weddings. My fiance proposed on Leap Day this year and we are getting married on August 12th of this year. This is the second wedding for both of us (I am 41 and he is 42) and we both have kids (I have a 9 year old and he has a 13 and 16 year old) so we are building a blended family. While my parents are happy, the first thing my mom pointed out was that she and my dad were not going to pay for anything because they already paid for the first one that 'didn't work out' - which is fine because I had not intended to have them pay for anything unless they wanted to, but at least I know where she stands on the issue.
So I have a few questions about tradition, because my mom became absolutely appalled that i was planning to wear white (my colors are navy, white, and fushia, so I think that an ivory dress would look dirty) but she told me that second marriages wear ivory because the bride is "not pure." Now, to be fair, I do have a kid so I am not "pure" however, I am more pure this time around because my fiance and I do not live together and we are waiting until we are married. That didn't happen the first time. You get it.
And then my mom asked me about invitations, which I am making myself, and about the wording. She wants to know how the families are going to be represented, and without saying it, she wants to be the hostess and center of the party without contributing a dime. I had planned to say ..."together with their families" - again...she told me to "really think about tradition and what is appropriate." So I need advice....I am getting really frustrated...and the wedding is only 4 months away. help!!!