Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

walking down the aisle

So I want to ask my father if he would mind if him and my step father walked me down the aisle, just not sure how to. I think the subject might be a little touchy for him because of the way him and my mother split up and the fact that my Step father was the other man, but he has been in my life for 10 years now and has helped raise me also, im wondering if i should just not ask him at all and avoid possibly hurting him.

any suggestions??

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Re: walking down the aisle

  • it seems to me that someone will have some hurt feelings no matter what. your step-dad if you don't ask him; your dad if you do. So you are best to go with what you want. If you want both of them to walk you, then you should ask. And honestly, your dad is probably expecting it since your step-dad has been around this long. Do they get along? I've also seen the suggestion on here that your step-dad could walk you halfway and then your dad could walk you the rest of the way if they didn't both want to walk you together.
  • I agree with pp. I think your Dad will be very hurt if you don't ask him. He is your biological dad afterall. Have you always maintained a relationship with him? He actually might just expect that he is the one to walk you down the aisle.

    If so, I think I would definitely have him walk you down the aisle. If not, you could possibly choose both of them, but the problem with that is that your real dad may feel like he is getting the short end of the stick or you just trying to make everyone happy. Its up to you, but something I would definitely think hard about before you decide and ask.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I think your Dad's feelings would be hurt, under the circumstances. You could give your Stepfather a boutinere and let him have the honor of escorting your mother down the aisle.

    I know how much my husband (and father of my daughter) is looking forward to the special honor of walking DD down the aisle. I wouldn't want to take that away from him for anything.
  • I have been to a wedding where the bride was walked half way down by her step-dad and then the rest of the way by her biological dad. I think both men were honored to be involved and it was a very nice way to do it :) Good luck
  • why not tell him..rather than ask.. tell him you understand it may be a sensitive subject however you have 2 men in your life who have helped raise you..and would be honored if both walked you down the aisle..

  • It's a tough decision.  Whatever you decide, ask both of them what their thoughts are before making any decision.

    Also, why don't you have FI walk you down instead?  That is an option that I find very meaningful.
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  • I would hope that your father and step-father could be man enough for one day and get over any bitterness that there is. Clearly both men are special to you and they should just suck it up for the day and do what you would like. It should not be a big deal for either of them if they truly want to see you happy because having both of them walk you down the asile like you said would make you happy. If it is a problem that both of them have this honor then I would find some way to compromise. At my wedding my mom and dad are walking down the asile just in front of me and they have been divorced for almost 15yrs now. But they know how much it means to me so they are doing this for me.

  • Is your dad helping you pay for any of the wedding? If not, then I would say go with whoever you feel right having. Its your wedding. I am having my uncle walk me because I stayed with their family a lot while my mom worked and only saw my dad twice a year(xmas and bday) since I was born and he never offered a dollar to help pay. If he is helping pay for some of the wedding or they both are, then maybe doing the 1/2 and 1/2 isnt a bad idea. Or if your mom is around, you could have her. Mine isn't cuz that would be my 1st choice. Hope that helps
  • thanks for all the helpful words! and I talked to my father and apparently he already thought both of them were going to be walking me down the aisle, easier than i though! :)
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