Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Catholic/Chinese Wedding Issues!! Help =/

This topic is definitely more stressful than I thought!

So, my fiance (i love him so much :] ) is Chinese and I am Filipino (Catholic). He agreed to get married at my church and we were dreaming about having this great reception with all our family and friends after at a lovely catering hall...great right?!...well...

Not until his mom insisted that he also has a Chinese banquet reception. Fine, I'll do that too....but the problem is...his mom wants to do it on the SAME DAY! So it would be our Saturday morning church ceremony, followed by our afternoon reception at a catering hall celebration, followed by the Chinese banquet dinner (with that 10 course meal!). Sounds like it will be a tiring day!

I don't know if this is even a good idea! I tried to ask him to ask his mother to have the Chinese banquet on a different day...but she says it's "bad luck" to have 2 wedding ceremonies. I'm not sure what to do...i have a year and a half till our wedding date (June 2011) to try and convince her to change the date. ADVICE PLEASE LADIES! THANKS!

Re: Catholic/Chinese Wedding Issues!! Help =/

  • Can't you just have the church wedding and then the Chinese banquet as your reception?  Instead of a morning ceremony, have an afternoon wedding and then start the banquet soon thereafter...  

    Could you do cocktails and then the 10-course dinner... and then transition into the more traditional reception that you wanted?  Music, dancing, etc.

    As a guest, I'd much prefer to go to one reception - two would be exhausting - and I think that you should be able to use the banquet as your reception dinner and build your party around it...

    We had a Catholic ceremony at 2:30PM and started our cocktail hour at 4:30PM.  Dinner was started at 6PMish, and it was six courses - not 10, but a lengthy dinner nonetheless ;)  The reception (live music and dancing) lasted until a little past midnight.  We also served a late night snack at 11PM.  

    Can you do something like that, but have the Chinese banquet as your dinner?
  • kristinanddankristinanddan member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2009
    I agree with pp. I have close friends who are Chinese, and they had the traditional 10 course Chinese banquet. It was definitely not the typical reception that I am used to, but many of the same elements were there - cocktails, dinner, centerpieces, a dj and dancing, a cake and cake cutting.

    Why can't the banquet be your one and only reception?
    imageimageimage
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Exactly what PP said.  You could do an afternoon ceremony (usually there's one around 2), start cocktails around 3-4, and then have the banquet start at 5-6.  After the meal, you could transition into the reception dancing and bar that you're thinking about.

    It makes sense that if you are going to your culture and religion for the ceremony that the reception should be heavily from his culture.
  • Thanks for your input! I mean a Chinese banquet is not exactly how i envisioned my wedding reception to be...more like drinking, dancing, and just having a great time at lovely decorated hall (i.e. we're looking at Jericho Terrace!)...but I guess I have to compromise and work with the MIL somehow...

    The problem is that my fiance and I are so "Americanized" that if we had it our way only, we'd JUST do the church ceremony and the catering hall reception...exactly how I envisioned it to be since I was a little girl. But you guys are right...2 receptions in one day just seems like overkill. I'm gonna have to work something out that we're ALL happy with...
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2009
    Hi Elaines,

       I almost wrote in yesterday, but got distracted...

       I went to a Chinese wedding reception over the summer.  It was *awesome*.  We had all ten courses of food (which was so interesting) and they had all the dancing and americanized things that "regular" other wedding receptions had.  I thought it was a great reception that incorporated both families' traditions.  It can be done!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholicchinese-wedding-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:e9e27e46-2ac6-4e94-b747-dfb262133776Post:90b753f6-36b0-4569-9d4c-b0a03db7b224">Re: Catholic/Chinese Wedding Issues!! Help =/</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi Elaines,    I almost wrote in yesterday, but got distracted...    I went to a Chinese wedding reception over the summer.  It was *awesome*.  We had all ten courses of food (which was so interesting) and they had all the dancing and americanized things that "regular" other wedding receptions had.  I thought it was a great reception that incorporated both families' traditions.  It can be done!
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    <div>This!  I've never been to a Chinese wedding, but this is what I'm imagining and it sounds awesome ;)  </div>
  • I agree with pps as well...

    I've been to MANNNYYYYY Asian (I'm a mix of Chinese, Vietnamese, & etc) weddings and, although stressful, it's awesome to see two families come together. And I think it's nice that you're incorporating your FI's heritage by holding a Chinese banquet reception... but it sound like you don't WANT to? Can't you have your church wedding at an evening hour closer to the banquet reception? Or on the flip side, have your reception at a venue of your choice and include Chinese-ish entertainment- like a Lion Dance (that's what FI and I are planning)?
    Married in Boston, MA: Nov 8, 2013.
    Me: 27. Him: 30. DD: >1.
    Vow Renewal in Beavercreek, OH: July 1, 2017.
  • I have no suggestions but wanted to say HELLO to another June 2011 Bride.  Everyone thinks we are crazy for waiting so long but they are NOT paying our bills AND for our wedding!  Good Luck its a bit away but will be here before we know it. 
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