Need advice - Father / Bride and mother / groom dance

DMoore421

I just got engaged 4/21 and am looking at having the wedding in Sept / Oct 2013.  No real date is set yet but there is one glaringly obvioius issue with wedding planning.
My fiance has lost both of his parents.  We are both 31, his father died several years ago and his mothing died 2 years ago ( before I met her but after we started dating ) .

I am not sure how to approach the absence of his parents at the wedding.  I still want the dance with my dad - but his mom won't be there for him to dance with - and there really isn't a substitute in his family to stand in... I would be very upset to not get that dance with my dad though - so just eliminating the dances is out of the question to me. 
Also, how else can we incorporate their memory without it seeming tacky - or making others uncomfortable.

Thanks in Advance
Diana

ersatzpnk

Although I am not in the same situation, I don't see how it would be awkward at all to just have you and your father dance. That can be the only dance of that type. You'll have your moment with your dad, and there won't be any weirdness of finding a "stand-in" for your FI's mother or father.

My FI and I are doing a table at the entry way to the wedding of pictures of the close family members who can't be with us for our wedding. We are also including some military items since my FI lost some friends in the military while he was in. It's a small remembrance of all the people who had such a great impact on our life who are no longer with us.

I have also seen a lot of videos of the bride's life and groom's life played at the rehearsal dinner, and you could have a little message at the end of those in memory of his parents.

Congrats, and have fun planning! 

danceandromance

I am so sorry about your fiancee's loss. The Honors Dances with the Parents are a lovely tradition that pay appropriate respect to the treasured relationship and are a sacred memory. If your fiancee has another mentor or role model in his life that he would like to honor this would be the perfect time to reach out and make that special person feel cherished. 

For a list of Honors Dance song ideas check out www.theweddingdancespecialists.com/honors-wedding-dance.php

DMoore421

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_need-advice-father-bride-and-mother-groom-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:eb03a8f7-88c6-4c27-8b81-fafb24d6e441Post:9fb00ea5-2ba0-4af9-b492-8c657c17a0b6">Re: Need advice - Father / Bride and mother / groom dance</a>:
[QUOTE]. My FI and I are doing a table at the entry way to the wedding of pictures of the close family members who can't be with us for our wedding. We are also including some military items since my FI lost some friends in the military while he was in. It's a small remembrance of all the people who had such a great impact on our life who are no longer with us. Posted by ersatzpnk[/QUOTE]


That is actually a really great idea - This my fiance would definately go for - especially if you saw the number of photo albums he has from growing up -
Thanks :)

willywally5

My stepdaughter is marrying a wonderful young man who lost his mother a few years back. She is very close to her dad and REALLY wanted to do a father/daughter dance as well but didn't want it to have it point out that HE didn't do a special dance with his mom. Honestly, I've seen it where father/daughter is the only honor dance so it wouldn't be weird. BUT, they had the idea that the groom will dance half a song with me and the other half of the song with my daughter's biological mother. I think it is very nice that he feels close enough to use to do so and am happy about it. 

Honoring his late parents is tough ... you want it to be a nice tribute without being like a total downer, since it's likely many of the people there were very close to the deceased. I like the table idea suggested by PP. My daugher and her FI are still trying to decide how to handle that. 

Sounds like it will be a lovely day and I'm sure his folks will be looking down with pride ... Blessings to you!