Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

bride-groom no lookie!! tradition

Does anyone really still follow this?? HE can see you in your getup or even what it looks like until you walk down the isle.... and the day of and night before.. do yall really spend it apart??? 

Re: bride-groom no lookie!! tradition

  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited February 2010
    Nope.  He wants to be surprised by my dress, and it's worked out that I won't see him in his tux until the wedding.  But we're spending the night before the wedding together, and most of that day.  We'll split after lunch and get ready separately, then do pictures together pre-ceremony.
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  • FI won't see my dress until the day of the wedding. But we will be spending the night before the wedding together. We live together and I'm not going to kick him out of his own home just because of a tradition. We'll party ways first thing in the morning and we won't see each other until our private reveal later on in the day so we can do pictures. 
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    He doesn't want to see the dress before, And we don't live together anyways. Basically we are pretty old school about stuff so we pretty much follow tradition.


  • Yes, people still follow that.  In fact, there are some people who don't live together or have sex before they get married.  *gasp*
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  • FI and I don't live together. And we're virgins!

    We're also keeping it pretty old school. We will be parting ways Friday night, and we won't see each other until I walk down the aisle Saturday afternoon. And he hasn't seen my dress, nor will he. I like it being a surprise!

    I have seen him in his suit, though. But I don't think that counts. Haha.
  • A bunch of wedding photographers are suggesting this thing called "First Look" where they capture the moment of your FI seeing you for the first time in your wedding attire, and you get a little intimate moment just minutes before the wedding. Photographers love it. Check it out here:
    http://www.alittlebirdieweddings.com/2009/12/11/first-look/
  • Well seeing as how my mother is commandeering my dress prior to the ceremony and stealing me away the night before? Not a chance....

    He'll be staying the night with my dad at the house of a good family friends the night before and I will be staying in a bridal suite with my mommy and sisters doing finishing touches on anything that needs to be done and hopefully getting a good night's rest before.
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  • We are spending the night before apart..I think it has something to do with the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" sentiment.  But ironically enough we are taking all of our formal photographs before the ceremony.  And oh yea he doesn't want to see my dress until the wedding day, even though he helped me pick my shoes and jewelry, and has seen me after my hair & make-up trails.  Ahhh the compromises of a traditional groom and not-so-traditional bride.
  • Being a Jewish bride, there are some traditions in my faith that regard this topic. First of all if you are a Jewish bride to be you need to get the book The New Jewish Weding by Anita Diamant. It lays it all out, from traditions, and customs, to the Rules of having a Jewish Wedding, and how to pick a Rabbi. In my faith the Bride and Groom are required to see eachother before the wedding in order to sign the Ketubah. The Ketubah is a traditional Jewish wedding contract. Traditionally it was not meant to be a beautiful, sentimental, or even romantic thing, but the Ketubah has totally evolved. It's often a beautifully worded piece of priceless art that you can proudly display in your home after being married. When the bride and groom come together to sign the Ketubah, they do so in their wedding attire, and it is this moment they are legally married in the eyes of Judaism. Another tradition which is a part of seeing one another before the actual ceremony is for the groom to actually veil the bride! This is based on the story of how Jaccob (I am pretty sure it was Jaccob, any other Jewish gals out there?!) was fooled into marrying Leigh, the woman he didn't love, and the sister of his one true love Rachael. Leigh was under a heavy veil, and he didn't know it was her, and not Rachael until it was to late! So we have adopted the traditional custom of the groom veiling the bride at the signing of the Ketubah. I think this is a beautiful tradition, even if you are not Jewish!!!
  • he knows what my dress looks like based on a black and white print out before i actually bought the thing. we will sleep separately the night before but do pics on the beach before ceremony, basically because we do not have the time to keep the whole place waiting for an hour for us to take pics. i know this is usually the "coctail hour" but in order for us to get the perfect venue, we only get 41/2 hours from arrival to departure for ceremony and reception. we would rather eat and dance than miss out on an hour of it from taking pics.
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  • FI has seen a picture of my dress. We'll be doing pictures before the ceremony, but I'm not sure about sleeping arrangements the night before. We live together in an apartment about 15 minutes from the wedding site.
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  • FI won't see me in my dress until the day of the wedding either.  I just don't want him too.  I'm not being superstitious - I just want him to see the dress the day of.

  • We live together but are spending the night apart and parting ways after the rehearsal dinner.   Actually we're spending two weeks before the wedding apart, which should make the honeymoon all the more fun!!!  The wedding is in a beach town and his parents have rented the house next to my parents' house.  So, he'll be staying with his parents, and me with mine leading up to the wedding.  So, we may run into each other on the day of, but we're gonna try not to see each other until I walk down the aisle.  I think its more special that way, but I can see the appeal of the first look photographs too.  
  • FI saw a picture of my dress online when I was trying to decide if I should just jump in on the first dress I fell in love with but he won't actually be seeing the dress on me (or at all since it's hidden in a closet we rarely use) until they open the doors at the chapel for my walk down the aisle.  The photog and family/friends have suggested we do pictures before since we're having an evening wedding but we're both adamanent about having that big moment when the doors open and we see each other for the first time.  Besides, I"m not all about posing pictures anyway so a few afterwards and the ones from the reception/ceremony are fine by me.  As for the pre-wedding night, we haven't decided but we're definitely leaning towards him staying at his best man's house while the girls stay with me at our house to finish up a few things. Traditions can be fun.
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  • DH had a very good idea of what my dress was going to look like (He knew what I wanted for a dress before we even got engaged, lol), but he didn't even see pictures of the actual dress.

    We lived together first, and we kept the dress in our closest (In a garment bag, wrapped in a billion sheets to protect it), but he was never tempted to peek. He really wanted the actual dress to be a surprise, too.

    My parents live very close by (Like a 5 minute drive), and when I moved out, they never changed my room, (My little sister and I used to share, and she still hasn't moved out) so I still had a bed there. We knew before we even had a date set that I'd be spending the night before there. We wound up having a New Year's Day wedding, and my parents always throw a party anyway, so we just went over there as per usual, and at the end of the night, DH went home without me.

    Some couples still like to honor some of the old traditions. Even though we "lived in sin" and engaged in pre-marital sex, we're actually both pretty old fashioned about certain things.

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  • We are spending the night before seperate, just cause. And, doing pictures before the ceremony so we will be doing a 'reveal'.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_poll-instant-reactions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9fb888b4-b4c2-4ffc-87c2-c04f29b75423Post:1b65c736-a123-42d3-bcb4-992e5eba3e05">Re: Poll: Instant Reactions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll: Instant Reactions : Sometimes I do too.  Like, the "give the ring back" one would get a much different reaction from a reg than a newb.  <strong>But. . . "gross" is the same either way.  
    </strong>Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

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  • We will be together the night before, as we're at a cabin away from our place and it doesn't makes sense to get a hotel room for just one of us. We'll finish setting up in the morning then part ways toget ready for the ceremony.

    He hasn't seen my dress though, and won't until I walk down the aisle. But I have seen his suit and vest, as I was with him when we bought the vest (had to make sure the color matched my dress, can't trust him to do that!).
  • We won't be together the night before and he has no idea what my dress looks like and won't see it until I walk down the aisle! 
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  • We are not together the night before and havent decided on the "first glance" or not yet. Our Photograpehr suggests it, but my FI is not sure about it
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  • I'm not married yet, but I am planning on not having him see me in my gown at all, what so ever until I walk down the aisle! I want it to be a surprise!
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  • We currently live together, but will probably spend the week prior to the wedding apart.  Due to time constraints - and the fact that I want my dad to see me all dressed up before the ceremony (no tears going down the aisle) - we'll be doing photos beforehand.  I really like the idea of the "first look," so I'm going to ask my photographer about that...
  • I won't even let FI see any pictures of dresses I was interested in that I pulled from magazines, much less pictures of THE dress.  As much as I hate to have a picture gap between the ceremony and reception, I am also adament about having that moment that he sees me for the first time walking down the aisle to become his wife. 

    We will be living together by then, but we will not be staying the night together, either.  I won't see him on Saturday until 3:30!
  • My FI and I will be spending the night before apart and will not see each other before the wedding. This was NOT my idea. He doesn't want to see me until the wedding, I was planning on doing pictures before hand. I guess this is something that he wants to keep old school. I think it is cute. When we were talking about this however, I did find out he wants me to wear a veil! Something I was not planning on. LOL!
  • He's not going to see my dress till the day of. My FI is actually the one who wants to wait till I walk down the aisle to see me, but I still have 5 1/2 months to convince him to let us take th pics before the ceremony.
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