Shower and out of towners

cupcake68

My soon to be MIL lives about 2000 miles away. Am I supposed to send her a shower invite? There is no way she is coming but I don't want her to feel left out. Feels like I'm just shopping for a gift but my mom says it's the thing to do.

Thanks.
T

quotequeen

The FMIL always gets invited to the shower, it's just a courtesy.  Other OOT guests (besides the bridal party) generally shouldn't be invited unless they're family and it's a family custom to invite everybody.

danieliza1127

Yes, you should invite her because she's the groom's mom.

[Deleted User]

Yes, invite her. You never know, she may make arrangements to come.

trix1223

Yes, MOG and MOB, along with WP are always invited to all showers as a courtesy.

AllysOop

Invite her and give her a call to let her know that you don't expect her to attend because of the distance. Tell her you wanted to pass along an invitation so she knows she's welcome and you're thinking of her.

This is much better than not invitng her and then having her finding out later on that there was a shower she wasn't invited to. She may feel hurt, then.

golden1215

And I hope you dont mean you sending out the invite- cuz you cant throw your own shower. :-)

My FMIL and FSIL live far away but they were invited out of courtesy.  If nothing else she cant send you a gift if she's not invited at all!

mkgrover

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_shower-out-of-towners?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:f319420f-509f-4543-a10e-44a62e34f410Post:71fabb99-a93b-4f8e-a241-18df151ffd02">Re: Shower and out of towners</a>:
[QUOTE]Invite her and give her a call to let her know that you don't expect her to attend because of the distance. Tell her you wanted to pass along an invitation so she knows she's welcome and you're thinking of her. <strong>This is much better than not invitng her and then having her finding out later on that there was a shower she wasn't invited to. She may feel hurt, then.</strong>
Posted by AllysOop[/QUOTE]

<div>this.</div><div>
</div><div>a slightly different, but similar scenario, unfolded in my circle of friends last year. friend A was getting married, and felt that friend B (poor grad student 1500 miles away, and a bridesmaid to boot) wouldn't be able to afford to get to the shower, so friend B wasn't even invited.  hard feelings ensued and the strain on their friendship was very sad to see...</div>