Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Male Bridesmaid...

One of my best friend's is a guy. We have been friends for over ten years, he has always been there for me and we have always had a strong friendship. I really want him to be in the wedding party (and he is thrilled to be asked). I did not think this would be too big of an issue since my wedding isn't going to be a traditional affair but a few people have expressed that they think having a guy as a bridesmaid is weird (my dad and FMIL being the most vocal.)
I really did not think I would get the reaction I have gotten over this. I just didn't think it was that big of a deal.  At first I just figured that my friend would walk down the aisle with my other bridesmaids (in a tux of course!) but now I am thinking that maybe my friend should be a groomsmen? But this would throw off the equal number on each side.  Plus, I want something that will show that he is my friend (I know that's kinda silly, esp since he and my fiance are becoming close friends as well). 

So, any ideas? Suggestions? I would really appreciate it!

Re: Male Bridesmaid...

  • Go for it! My best friend is also a guy, and he stood on my side. People actually thought it was really cool, and it's becoming very popular to have mixed sides. Also keep in mind that your sides don't have to be even in number...we had unequal sides, and nobody noticed or cared.

    In the programs I simply listed "Bride's Attendents" and "Groom's Attendents."
    **i'm a little drunk on you and high on summertime** Photobucket
  • I am doing the exact same thing, and my fiance also has a girl on his side.  My fiance was a "bride's man" in her wedding, and it was not weird at all.  If you think about it, it's just a difference of where they stand during the ceremony and even how they get there is insignificant.  I don't think that having an equal number on each side is relevant in any way either.  And, for those family members that think it's weird, perhaps they are slightly old fashioned and need to get with the times.  It happens all the time now.  Some terms I've seen used are "man of honor", "bridesman", and "groomsgirl".  Or, you generalize the group also by using generic terms.  Simply put, it's not weird. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • My brother stood on my side.  Worked out great.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited August 2010
    Fortunately, people are so much smarter now about WPs than they used to be~at least in some ways.  They now realize that WPs are not about gender or symmetry.

    They realize that a friend is a friend, no matter what they have the same reproductive organs or not.  So they realize that  you choose friends to stand with you, not gender.

    They realize that friendship is more important than symmetry, and so they choose who they want whether that means "unbalanced" sides or not.

    My friend, at least 6 years ago had her brother as her honor attendant, and her DH had his sister as his honor attendant.  Bride's brother wore a tux and walked down the aisle just before the bride.  Groom's sister wore the same dress as the BM's and stood next to her brother.  It was lovely.

    I won't be at all surprised if, when the time comes for my younger DD to plan a wedding, she asks her brother to stand with her.  They have a connection to each other that is very special.

    Ask your friend to stand with you.  You may be the first in your circle to have a mixed gender WP, but I promise you won't be the last.  Your friend can either be a bridesman, or you can all of your WP "bride's attendants and groom's attendants."
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Just go for it. My brother is standing on my side and one of my BMs was not happy about it because "it's just supposed to be girls!" But I'm doing what I want to do. No biggie.
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)

  • Mixed sides are totally ok now. Don't worry about it!
  • i would do it!  and dont worry about being uneqaul, my FI has 4 groomsmen and I have 8 BM. a little off but each GM is going to walk with 2 BM. and i wouldnt care what anyone else says its your wedding and he is your best friend and if you want him in your wedding than you should.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited August 2010
    my sister had 4 people on her side: my other sister and AI and 2 bropther in law and 4 guys on his side.

    my FI and I have been back and forth on this.. I have 1 guy friend and he as hsi sister... originally we were going to put his siter on his side and the guy friend on mine.  i grew up with the guy friend..he's family.  but over the last 8 years my FI and him hhave also become very good friends and we later told my guy friend we drew straws over which side he was now my side is all girls and his is all guys.  Truthfully, it doesn't matter.. both sides are close to us at this point as we have had the opportunity to forge our own friendships with the other's persepctive family and friends.  our wedding party is something we share, truly.  A good example: my maid and matron of honor are my sisters..his best man and best friend is family in my eyes.. i always look forward to his big smile and giant bear hugs when we all get together.    AND my sisters (and family) long ago accepted my FI as one of their own.  the rest is just semantics.
    in this day and age.. having whomever you want in your wedding party stand on whichever side you want is fine..anything goes on YOUR day :)
  • Have your guy friend stand up for you.  My brother is my Man of Honor, he means so much to me that I would never back down on this no matter what anyone said or thought.  Just because he's a guy doesn't mean that he's any less important to me, and having him stand up on FI's side just wouldn't cut it for me.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I had a guy stand up on my side. I wanted him to be in the WP because he was a great friend of mine and my FI had never met him (he lives many states away). Frankly, I liked being a little different. My DH had his sister stand on his side. I say go for it!
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers image image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards