Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Engagement rings for men

I recently saw a picture from a friends engagement party where both she and her fiance are showing off thier engagement rings. I also read in a bridal magazine that men's engagement rings are on the rise. I was thinking of buying an engagement ring for my FH for chirstmas. I was wondering what the public opinion is on men's engagement rings.  
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Re: Engagement rings for men

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
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    What really matters is your FI's opinion on male engagement rings. I know my guy would NEVER wear one so really you are better off asking your FI what he thinks than a bunch of internet strangers.

  • This is something I really would not do without knowing your FI's opinion on it. If he doesn't want anything more than a single band, then getting him something he might feel obligated to wear permanently is a bad idea.
  • I really don't like this concept of men's engagement rings. What is next? men's veils and dresses? The point of an engagement ring is for a man to show his intentions for marriage, etc. It is kind of like a promise. You aren't proposing to him, so why would you need to give him a ring? I think this is just a way for jewelers to make more money. Sorry if I sound like I am ranting, I'm not, I just feel like this is a really supid idea.
  • i agree with pp's about asking your FI first if he'd like one.  and as for the "stupidity" of this on-the-rise custom.  i actually think it's a really nice thing, but is certainly for the couple to decide on their own.

    FI proposed to me without a ring (there was no money to purchase one at the time).  His PROPOSAL was the way he showed his intentions for marriage, the ring is a symbol of that intention, and is nice, but unneccesary as far as i'm concerned.  when we were gifted with a piece of jewellery that included several diamonds, we decided together to design our own engagement rings.   DH is extremely proud of his, wore it every day throughout our 18 month engagement, and often wears it in place of his wedding band.  I loved that he wanted to publicly show his committment to me during the engagement, just as I wore a ring symbolizing my committment to him throughout the engagement.  

    i think men's engagement rings show a movement toward egalitarianism, and i for one totally support the idea. 

  • My husband insisted on an engagement ring.  He said that I had a symbol that showed I was spoken for, and he wanted one too.  We ended up buying his wedding band early and he just wore it on his right hand until we got married, then he switched it to his left.

    Of course, this is a man who is incredibly sentimental.  When he lost his ($100, plain gold) wedding band he was devastated.  it took me a solid 3 minutes to figure out what was wrong when he told me we had a "huge problem" and held up his left hand.  Obviously not all men are like this!
  • My FH can't wear rings to work, so he would not be able to wear an e ring. I would ask your Fh what he thinks of them before you buy one. Unless you plan on using it for his wedding ring also.
  • We did something a bit different.  Because we were handfasted for our engagement (and for our trial marriage, as is the custom in Pagan tradition), I got the traditional piece of jewelry, which was my engagement ring.  We talked about him getting a ring, too, but decided that we would go with the tradition of a weapon.  So, during the ceremony, he presented me with the ring, and I presented him with a dirk (sort of a sword, to wear at his hip when we're in Scottish dress).  My now DH is not much of a jewelry wearer.  So, while I love the symbolism and thought behind the engagement ring, you'll have to figure out whether your FI would be comfortable with that or not. 
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  • My MOH who is also engaged got her FI one because he said he really wanted one, but my FI thought it was ridiculous. I would ask your FI first before buying one. A lot of guys aren't into that. If he is, then go for it. You wouldn't even necessarily have to lable it "e-ring;" it could just be a ring he likes and wears.

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  • Like the PPs have said: ask your FI what he wants. When I was engaged, I actually did ask DH what he thought about it. He looked at me like I had five heads, and said "No, Meg, engagement rings are for girls".

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  • Would this be the same as the wedding ring or will you switch out?

    I personally think it's goofy but you need to talk to him.
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  • An acquaintance of ours is engaged and they showed up to a function, him with a band on his left finger, so I thought they had already gotten married.  It wasn't until they started talking about their wedding plans that he mentioned it was his engagement ring.  I dunno...I just find it odd because everyone knows that a single band on a woman is engagement, but a band on a man is marriage, so it's too problematic to always have to explain the difference.

    My FI would never wear one, he thinks they are stupid for the above reason.  I would suggest finding out your FI's opinion on them beforehand. 
  • My FI loves his MAN-GAGEMENT ring!!  When he proposed to me he was so proud of the ring he bought me and he asked me when he would get his. He seemed genuinely shocked and adorably upset when he realized that traditionally men don't get a ring until the wedding.

    After a couple weeks of him still mentioning it, we went and bought him a very plain silver band that we engraved with a silly but personal inside joke.  He will retire his man-gagement ring the day of the wedding when I give him his wedding band. 

    It makes him happy.  When I see it  I smile.  And it usually gets a chuckle out of people when we explain what the ring is.   Win-win. =)
  • In Response to <a href=" BoardsForum:36Discussion:f847e77f-d0ba-4a6b-89e7-8fde55ab4240Post:b282cd10-6a3e-445f-aa45-16d23edeaede">Re: Engagement rings for men</a>:
    [QUOTE]Would this be the same as the wedding ring or will you switch out? I personally think it's goofy but you need to talk to him.
    Posted by lilcassers[/QUOTE]

    For my husband it was the same ring.  He wore it on his right hand until we were married and then switched it to his left hand.
  • We've actually spent most of tonight talking about this subject! FI wasn't sure as to whether this was "normal" or not. I did a little research and found that it is common in Europe as well as South America for the man to wear an e-ring too (Michael Buble is a great example). It shows that he is spoken for, just as the woman's e-ring does.

    I plan on getting him one soon, either a silver or flat black tungsten ring. Then we will have matching bands for our wedding rings.
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  • Thanks for the responses, I really wanted the ring to be surprise so I don't want to ask ahead of time, so I ended up getting him a cheap ring as a trial run to get the idea across. If he likes it we can return the cheap one and go together to pick out a good one. If he doesn't like it, then I'll just return it no problem. I got him a separate gift just to make it so I'm not forcing it on him. Thanks for the help.
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  • In Response to <a href=" BoardsForum:36Discussion:f847e77f-d0ba-4a6b-89e7-8fde55ab4240Post:55dd5067-39b3-49a3-a7fe-527a5b5aa8c4">Re: Engagement rings for men</a>:
    [QUOTE]What really matters is your FI's opinion on male engagement rings. I know my guy would NEVER wear one so really you are better off asking your FI what he thinks than a bunch of internet strangers.
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this one! My fiance is really anxious to be able to wear his wedding band, and I think he would have appreciated an engagement ring, it just didn't work financially with how soon our wedding is after our engagement. I also have a guy friend who has a promise ring that he wears. Definitely get your guy's opinion before spending the money.
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