When to ask?

devinsberries

Hey y'all!

My FI and I are planning a two year engagement. I have a huge group of friends and I have been trying to narrow it down to the people I want to stand with me but I recnetly started panicing...what if I make new friends in the next two years??? 

Do I ask my ladies (and guys) now or do I wait until it gets closer to the date, but how close? 

AHHHHHH!!!!!

LindseyL17

Congratulations on your engagement! Definitely don't ask anyone until 9-12 months out. Friendships can change drastically in two years and you can't unask someone once you've asked. Just go click over the E board to see how that can all plan out- there's a thread about asking people too soon and regretting it. Good luck!

MyNameIsNot

Wait until about 12 months out to start making decisions, and then ask between 9-12 months out.  

Outside of becoming less close to someone, you could become closer to someone and won't want them to feel like second string.  

aerinpegadrak

1) Set your budget, including how much you can put toward the expenses of attendants (flowers, gifts, RD, anything you're going to dictate and need to pay for)

2) Set a date

3) Book a venue - deposits down and everything

4) If you're still more than a year out, wait until you've gotten under the 12 month mark

You can't ask someone to commit to something when they don't know where or when it is.  We also had a two year engagement, and had to throw out our plans entirely and start again halfway through.  Not fun.  There's nothing your attendants need to do until it comes time to start dress shopping, so there's really no need to ask them before then.