BP Shoes

lalap69

Okay, so I've seen a lot of posts with brides wanting to put their BMs in identical shoes.  The general advice is pick a colour and let your BMs pick their own, which I agree with.

I'm wondering about what others think about not even specifying that much.  What do you think about letting the BMs completely accessorizing their dress however they choose?  This could mean having girls in completely different shoes: one in black, one in silver, one in hot pink, etc.

Would you think this would look weird?  Would you not care?  Would you love it?

Would it make a difference if the girls were wearing the exact same dress or if they were wearing different styles?

Satisfy my curiousity.

gottahavashorti

I prefer a little more of a cohesive look, but I think it could look just fine.  I think it would look better if they're wearing different dress styles, but I also have little to no fashion sense.

Licia&Wayne

I'm totally hands off. Bridesmaid dresses haven't been decided yet, but I'm seriously just at the point of saying, "Get a black dress...see you in October," because I could really give a crap less.

The last weddings I've been in, I've been nitpicked to death by overbearing brides. I would never want to do that to anyone. I don't care what jewelry my bridesmaids want to wear, I don't care how different their dresses are, their shoes can be pink with purple and green polkadots and I wouldn't blink and eye.

But in all reality, I'm doing well to dress myself for my wedding, not to mention other grown women who can manage for themselves. The cohesiveness/sameness is something that just isn't important to me.

lizziemoopsc

I was going to say I couldn't care less what shoes, but then I realized that would be a lie .  Both my sister (only BM) and I are going to be wearing bright red shoes. I was always going to wear red, and then my sister asked if she could wear red too. Before I couldn't care less, but now I love the idea of us both wearing red shoes! So now I care? I think if I had more bms I would probably request either all bright red or all "neutral" for a cohesive look but probably nothing past that. Does that make sense at all :-P

My opinion is probably moot since I'm only having 1 bm, but I would think that different shoes would look better with different dresses. For me, I would imagine that if I were going to have more than one bm, I would have them in different dresses with different shoes, again with the caveat that they decide if they want bright shoes or neutral shoes.

gottahavashorti

I just said silver or white shoes because that's what we could think of that went with the shade of blue the dresses are in. 

No one had anything appropriate already since they'd have to be able to stand in them on grass for a 15-20 minute ceremony, but they all wanted silver over white since they'd be more likely to rewear them.

jagore08

If I could go back, I would tell my girls to pick a black dress. That's it. I would let then accessorize however they wanted. This way they could wear everything again.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

That's what I'm doing. But I'm putting them in matching dresses. The shoes, jewelry, hair and nails will be completely up to them.

MyNameIsNot

If they are wearing a short dress, I personally prefer the look of similar color shoes.  But I don't think it would look weird or off if they wear different neutrals.  I probably wouldn't be a fan of one in pink shoes and everyone else in black/silver shoes.  

I asked all my girls to wear silver shoes.  In retrospect, that was really stupid.  They wore long dresses and I can't see their shoes in anything.  I don't feel bad b/c I know they all wore something they owned or were going to get anyway, but it seriously didn't matter.

As for jewelry, I don't think it matters at all.  I said nothing about jewelry and I thought they looked great.  

lalap69

Thanks for all the opinions, ladies!

I definitely don't plan on dictating jewelery, but it's different with shoes.  Since I like the look of short dresses, it's one of those things I've been wondering about.  And I was interested to see just how laid back everyone actually is.

baystateapple

My girls have the choice of red or black shoes.  One girl has already picked her red shoes out, two others have picked black, and two others haven't picked yet.  I'm fine either way.

leeshab1982

My girls are all wearing the same knee length navy blue dress (well, besides my sister because she will be 7 months pregnant).  I tried to tell them to wear whatever color and style of shoes they wanted, but they insisted that I at least choose the color.  I was kind of surprised by that, but I was fine with whatever they wanted.  I told them to pick any silver shoe that they like.

After hearing from my own BMs and other girls on the boards, it seems like a lot of people appreciate having at least some sort of guideline to follow.   

aerinpegadrak

I think people are afraid of the "fake-laidback" bride: The one who says, "Oh, just do whatever you want!" and then you pick something and she hates it and THEN insists on something specific.  Bridesmaids don't want to screw things up.

I've actually had to consciously avoid being that bride a couple of times, when someone's taken something in a different direction I had in mind.  I had to remind myself that I'd given them leeway, and it wouldn't have been right to take it back.  It means that things will look a bit different than I envisioned, but since it also means happier bridesmaids, it works for me.

nackiejichole

My BM dresses are short so their shoes are visible. They are grey with yellow sashes so I chose yellow shoes. It is just what I pictured and they all loved the idea. I am not telling them which shoes to buy though. They can pick their own. Some of my girls don't like to wear heels and my MOH insists on wearing heels at all times. Either way I don't care.

The jewelry I don't really care.

I am however paying for them to have pedicures and manicures but that is for them to relax and enjoy the day before with me not because I want to dictate what their hands and feet look like.

krissydawn16

My grandmother insists that since my BMs have short dresses that they must wear identical shoes.  I told my girls to wear whatever white shoes they wish.  I was going to tell them white or silver.. but when I asked them - only one girl preferred silver.  THAT is where you should be careful.  If you let them pick their own colors, makes sure it's not 4 girls in black and 1 girl in pink.. because then it will look like she didn't get the memo.

jules73297

Honestly, I don't really care.  I went with my MOH and 1 BM to look at dresses the first time (other BM had to work), they tried on a bunch of different styles in the "not floor length" dresses and I let them pick what they liked .. we ended up trying on mostly the same fabric of dress, only because the color changed with the material. I took my other BM another day, and let her try on the same dresses. It worked out that my MOH had her fave, and my two BMs loved the same dress, so they're wearing the same one.  As for shoes, I'm getting married on the beach, and am planning on going barefoot, so I told them I wasn't making them wear shoes - I wouldn't torture them with standing in sand in heels, at least not if I wasn't wearing them myself. 

On another note, if they were wearing shoes, I don't think that I would particularly care then either ... if they were going to be seen, and they wanted to go with a color (like green, pink, or something different) I would probably ask that it were one of the wedding colors. As for style, I don't really "do" heels, so I would never try to pick any out for anyone else. The last two weddings I was in I had two totally diff. experiences with shoes -- my sisters were horrible, and my bff's were awesome - both picked out by them for their weddings ...

stina93446

For me, I wouldn't like the different colored shoes if they were wearing short dresses. But I did let my bms wear short dresses that were black, but I let them choose, so they're all different. And I let them wear whatever jewelry and shoes they wanted...shoes were black. One of my bms even wore a lot of bracelets and it looked really cool/funky and I didn't even notice until the photos showed up at my door.

I was in a wedding where I wore a long dresss and the bride wanted us to all wear different colored shoes, but I was annoyed that she wanted us to go out and buy shoes for this. It was a brown and green wedding with bits of purple, and she was telling me that I should wear red shoes under my brown dress....um no. No one would see them anyway, so I wasn't going to buy shoes that wouldn't look good with the dress that no one would see.