Texas-San Antonio

Bridesmaids gifts/non gifts

My situation is a bit weird. Non of my bridesmaids know any bridesmaid ettiquette. Only one actually came over to help me with invites (2 hrs. total) there is not much communication with anyone of them. Most wedding communication has been over wedding attire.I was planning on buying bridesmaids gifts but, I think since non of them are really doing anything to assist, should I just drop the whole bridesmaid gift idea?Same goes for groomsmen....Wedding is in 48 days...maybe I'm jumping the gun and it's too soon to tell???

Re: Bridesmaids gifts/non gifts

  • edited December 2011
    I would still get them a gift as a thank you for being in the wedding party.  I'm sure you at least bounced ideas off them and they have given you advice thorough your years of friendship.  You don't have to spend a lot, but just thank them for their friendship.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree that you should still get them a little something. They're going to be spending at least 2 days with you (I'm assuming you're doing a rehearsal and they'll be there), and maybe more if they took time to go dress shopping or throw you a bachelorette party or shower. I'm also assuming they're buying their own BM dress, which usually isn't super cheap. Like dangerus said, you don't need to spend a lot on them. You could even just write them a thank-you note for being in your wedding and give them each just a little token whether it be jewelry, a nice bottle of wine, a picture of you with them, whatever other little thing you can think of that shows you appreciated them being there on your big day.
  • edited December 2011
    Yes, you should still get them a gift. They are buying a dress and standing with you at your wedding. A bridesmaid gift isn't to thank them for helping you plan a wedding. It's to thank them for being your friend and being with you on the biggest day of your life. A bridesmaid's only job is to buy the dress and show up. The rest is gravy and whatever else they might help you with is at their time and monetary discretion. Your situation is not weird. My girls didn't help me plan and most of our conversations about the wedding revolved around their dresses. None threw me a shower or bachlorette party and only one made it to my shower. But that stuff didn't bother me. Their support and being there for me the day of what was important to me.Just keep in mind, your wedding will never be as important to anyone else as it is to you.
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  • edited December 2011
    First of all, I can understand that you want your bridesmaids to be involved in the wedding planning, but that's not their job.  You have asked them to be there because they are special to you, not because you think they are the ones who will help you the most throughout the planning process.  Secondly, I do think it is nice to give a gift or token to say thanks for being a part of our special day, being a good friend, etc.  You don't have to spend much money.  Heck, I'd be happy with something homemade and meaningful.
  • jgilbergjgilberg member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I pretty much agree with everyone else. My girls have been wonderful, but they really have not been there for planning the wedding. All of them live out of town, so I don't really expect much. They have, however, spent some money on a dress, shoes and plane ticket to get here for my big day. All of them have been wonderful friends to me. Therefore, they deserve a thank you from me.I am sure that you can find them something lovely in the time that you have left. And yes, I am sure that they will be very helpful to you during the actual day and weekend of.~Julie
  • jgilbergjgilberg member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh! This is off topic, but you should change your screen name so it is not an email address. You will avoid getting a ton of spam that way.~Julie
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with the others. Bridesmaids aren't really your planners. If they offer to help great but they're really there to be there for you on your big day. To celebrate the next step in your life. I would definitely recommend giving them a thank you note but make it personal to each one. The gift doesn't need to be extravagant either. As long as it comes from the heart it doesn't matter what it is :)
  • edited December 2011
    I'm with everyone else on this topic...you should get them something.  It doesn't have to be extravagant or anything, but perhaps something small along with a hand written note just thanking them for being a part of you and your future hubby's special day.  You have to remember that while your wedding is almost your whole life right now...it isn't theirs -- and it shouldn't be.  I'm sure they have tried to be there for you most they can, but you shouldn't hold it against them if they aren't able to invest as much time as you in preparing for your wedding.  GL with this, and i hope everything turns out perfect for you!
  • edited December 2011
    You all are absolutely right. Thanks for all the input! I knew I could count on yo. I think I'm stressing.
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