My wedding is in June 2012 and I have 4 bridesmaids. I began shopping for my dress as soon as my engagement (right before Valentine's day this year) because I was just so excited and because I had heard that it takes a long time to find the right dress. I thought it would take me a lot longer because of my picky vision. HaHa, I found my dress immediately and haven't found anything I like better yet :-) Anyway, I decided to be a nice bride and let my bridesmaids pick out their own style but I wanted to have particular shade of purple. When I was dress shopping I took my maid of honor because she was the only one available for the task. She found a dress style that was just perfect for any of the body shapes of the bridesmaids. Well done, right? Not so much, read on.
Over the months, my vision for the bridesmaids' dresses has taken better shape. I still wanted the bridesmaids to pick their own style, but within certain perimeters.
(1) Had to be a deep purple (2) had to be chiffon. (3) no embellishments in the way of beading. The dress that my MOH found fit into those perimeters. At the convenience of each of the other bridesmaids, we met at the dress shop and I showed them what the MOH had found and still gave them the choice to pick something else. Nobody could find anything else they liked more. So, done, right? Nope.
During the course of the months, my MOH felt that she should have something a little different so that she will stand out from the other girls. I agreed because I felt she was right. I compromised on the "no beading" and "only chiffon" rules and was going to let her have iridescent chiffon as long as it fit the color of the other dresses, and very light and unnoticeable beading. The problem was, she would find a dress she liked and said that this was it, I agreed, and then she would change her mind a few days later. Each time she would push the envelope on my rules a little more. As of this week I thought we had finally found something that fit within my perimeters, but was different from the other style, and she said she liked. Problem solved, right? No because just yesterday she informed me that she liked something else, and she would look good in, and that her boyfriend said he thinks she would look good in. The problem was it has satin trim on it, and I don't like it. I was beyond frustrated with this constant indecision and debate. My FI told me that I need to be assertive and make my wishes known. I put my foot down and said that we are going with the dress that everyone likes, but each of the girls can alter it with straps or length to make it more personal.
Now, my MOH seems upset with me because I asserted myself. I understand, somewhat, because my "law" contradicts what I said about picking own style. But think I was justified because of her constant back and forth. My goal is to have the styles finalized by the middle of next month so that the dresses can be ordered the beginning of December, since I have been told it takes awhile for the dresses to be in. I want to give enough time to have the dresses in and make any alterations at least a month before the wedding.
It seems that my MOH was more concerned with standing out from the crowd than being supportive of my day. I still want to be considerate of her and her feelings, so aside from the dress I was wondering if there is anything I can do that will help her feel special ... ?