question about being a BM

Knottie_22382010

Hi all,

I have a question about being a BM in the wedding of one of my very good friends. She was the MOH of mine. The hotel she blocked rooms off at is within a 30 min drive from my house and I am debating on whether or not I should book a room the night of her wedding. The rooms are over $100 and I'm trying to save money in any way that I can. My husband is not planning on drinking and is fine with driving home after. I'm wondering if you all think it would be in poor taste to not stay the night of her wedding. We would stay until the reception is over and probably stay for the after party as well. I would love to save some cash but at the same time, I'm not so hard up that I couldn't just book the room. I just don't want her to feel like I'm ditching her. Thoughts? 

SmrBrd2012

Hi all,

I have a question about being a BM in the wedding of one of my very good friends. She was the MOH of mine. The hotel she blocked rooms off at is within a 30 min drive from my house and I am debating on whether or not I should book a room the night of her wedding. The rooms are over $100 and I'm trying to save money in any way that I can. My husband is not planning on drinking and is fine with driving home after. I'm wondering if you all think it would be in poor taste to not stay the night of her wedding. We would stay until the reception is over and probably stay for the after party as well. I would love to save some cash but at the same time, I'm not so hard up that I couldn't just book the room. I just don't want her to feel like I'm ditching her. Thoughts? 

erinlin25

not at all; if you want to go home, definitely go home!  Hotel is a convenience not a mandatory thing..and its not like you'd be having a slumber party!

NYCMercedes

Your plan is fine. Doesn't she already have plans for her wedding night?

AJuliaNJ

You don't have to stay over. If she really wants you to stay over, she would have to offer to pay. Even then you could say no though. 

libby2483

You don't need to stay in the hotel.  For my wedding, three of the BMs stayed in the hotel where I had blocked rooms, one stayed in a different hotel, and two stayed at their parents' homes.  I didn't care at all!

Summer2011Bride

You are fine. You are definitely not required to say at her hotel the night of the wedding.

Knottie_22382010

Thanks everyone! I guess my main concern was if she needs help with anything the day after the wedding. I would feel bad being the only BM not nearby since I believe the rest of them are staying even though they live around the same distance away that I do. But, she isn't going on her honeymoon until later that week so I can't really think of anything she'd need help with.

Knottie_22382102

If people are already staying at the hotel, just see if one room is designated as the getting ready room and you can all meet there to assist and socialize before the wedding.

That's what we did for my best friend's wedding.

SummerGrl15

Not at all.  My entire wedding party is not staying at the hotel.   She will have other friends and family members there if she needs any help the following day.  You are fine.

itzMS

She'll have her HUSBAND to help her with things!

Definitely sweet of you to think of her, but honestly, they will probably be happy to have some alone time.

Sierra524

Dont worry about her needing your help the day after. Her husband will help. It is so nice of you to want to help, but dont worry. You will probably need just as much rest as her the next day.

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_question-about-being-a-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:0a8d5c7e-96d2-49bd-80bb-8e45948b486bPost:03cc0903-7190-4a3d-945f-33ffd0dc12fa">Re: question about being a BM</a>:
[QUOTE]Your plan is fine. <strong>Doesn't she already have plans for her wedding night</strong>?
Posted by NYCMercedes[/QUOTE]

bow-chicka-wow-wow.

For reals this is what I was thinking.  I have NO IDEA where any of my BP slept that night, haha.  I mean; I'm pretty sure they were all at our hotel since they were all OOT and we saw our Best Man the next morning at breakfast.  But it honestly doesn't matter at all.

We actually were just debating the same thing - we've got 4 weddings this summer that are close enough we wouldn't *have* to get a hotel.  Only reason I'm even considering paying for a room is because we might want to hang out with other guests, I know the B&G will be long gone.