How to ask...

shadowfish318

I had a hard time trying to figure out who to have in my wedding party. I don't have a lot of friends and my family... well... needless to say there have been a few divorces and less than fuzzy feelings about weddings. I am A LOT younger than most of my cousins. I finally decided on my bestest of best friends and my FIs 2 sisters. I asked my best friend to be MOH that was easy. How do I ask his sisters? He refuses to help and says it is up to me. They live near each other and see each other often, but I tend to be 3rd wheel when we are all together and it sucks major ass! The 1 sis is refered to by my family as "the bitchy one" and the other one is "the sweetheart" just to give a slight insight to how they are viewed. What to do? How to ask?

PeonyPrincesskdd

your wedding is a year away.  wait at least 3-4 months before asking anyone.  Read the FAQ stickie at the top of the threads

gottahavashorti

I'm a little confused.  Do you want to ask your FSILs to be in the wedding party, or do you feel obligated to ask? 

It's okay for  you to have no attendants if your FI has several, have uneven sides, ask guy friends if they're who you are close to, or just have your best friend and no other attendants.  People also don't need to like weddings to be in them - all they need is to purchase the requested dress within reason in terms of price and fit, and stand for the ceremony.

If you want them to be in your WP, I do agree with your FI that it's up to you.  Just call them up and tell them that you'd love for them to be your bridesmaids.  Or ask them the next time you see them.

CTGirl30

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ask-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:0bb91eef-6dcb-41e0-9e48-84187a9c3dc5Post:4e098146-048c-473f-80da-48d5f1011861">How to ask...</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a hard time trying to figure out who to have in my wedding party. I don't have a lot of friends and my family... well... needless to say there have been a few divorces and less than fuzzy feelings about weddings. I am A LOT younger than most of my cousins. I finally decided on my bestest of best friends and my FIs 2 sisters. I asked my best friend to be MOH that was easy. How do I ask his sisters? He refuses to help and says it is up to me. They live near each other and see each other often, but I tend to be 3rd wheel when we are all together and it sucks major ass! The 1 sis is refered to by my family as "the bitchy one" and the other one is "the sweetheart" just to give a slight insight to how they are viewed. What to do? How to ask?
Posted by shadowfish318[/QUOTE]

Are you close with his sisters? Or are you asking them out of a sense of obligation? Because if you're not really close with them and it's more out of feeling like you have to ask them....then I suggest you don't. If it's very important in your FI's family to have siblings included, then he could certainly ask them to stand on his side if he so desires. Which would make more sense since they are HIS siblings - if you guys aren't very close and it sounds like you're not since you mentioend feeling like the 3rd wheel when you're all together.

If you only want to have your best friend stand by you as MOH that's certainly okay as well. You can have just her if you want and you also don't need to match up sides with your FI. If he is planning to ask 3 guys, that doesn't mean you MUST ask 3 girls as well.

I suggest waiting until you're about 7-8 months from the wedding before you ask any of your attendants. Relatiosnhips can change with time and there's nothing for anyone to be doing at a year+ out anyway.

trix1223

In November, call them up on the phone and say "I'm hoping that you'll be a member of my WP when I marry your brother."