1 month away and bridesmaid has pulled out - HELP!

masurwedding

I can not believe everyone is taking that stance!  I think people (girls and guys) get entirely too dramatic over wedding parties.  I'm sure if you could have had unlimited amount of bridesmaids you would have.  Bottom line is that you can not have all the people you want, and all the people that want to be in it...or feel they should be.

I would not at all be hurt or feel as if it is a slap in the face if someone asked me to stand up with them, especially if you have recently become close.  If you are like me, you chose your party a year before your wedding and although it's nice to think that you will still be close to the same people by the time your wedding rolls around, this may not be the case and your friends should understand that.

If you approach her in the right way I am sure she will be honored to stand up with you.

Best of luck!

jkmorris529

I just had a bridesmaid drop too (3 months before the wedding). The circumstances were worse though, we are no longer friends at all.   It sucks but I'm not replacing her.  My fiance will have 4 and I'll have 3 so it will be uneven which was hard for me to get used to also.  But I figured since two of his groomsmen are single and one of my bridemaids is single, they can walk together and it'll be funny!
I say just go with it, no big deal

jfonky

Hey girl,
I agree with eedoe and ityka. Be honest with your friend. I had something similar happen and was honest with the new bridesmaid; she was ecstatically happy to have a front row seat vs. a guest seat. The main point is, it's your wedding and your day. Everyone else should be happy with what you want and need, it's not about them for your big day. Being asked to be a bridesmaid is a huuuuge honor, no matter what stage in the game it is. Hope that helps!

Tigsnduck

Sorry for being a "first time poster" didn't know there were requirments to helping someone with an inquiry.

Trut be told I didn't even know the Knot had message boards until I got the email with this question. I have been on the Knot for months planning my own wedding guess I never REALLY looked around. And since the same thing had happened to me in triplicate I offered my opinion.

The words replace seems to offend people here. Simply asking a friend who is newer to stand up for her is acceptable. If a person flakes on being in a bridal party hun it's not your fault. If they didn't want to do it or had the suspicion they would not be able to...well they should never had accepted in the first place.

ESPECIALLY going about it the way she did and not even apologizing....you don't need to worry about hurting her feelings. She doesn't care enough about you or your wedding to be up front and honest and treat you with respect regarding your friendship...asking your new friend to be in the wedding won't hurt her. If you feel close enough to this person to ask her to be in your wedding do it. You don't need anyones permission to do it.

You are planning this day and we live in a more open modern society. You have no ones rules to follow regarding your wedding but your own.

ElaineH10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_1-month-away-bridesmaid-pulled-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:0ef6c3a0-72e4-47b1-a0ff-4c65c754bc2dPost:ea279b69-40a4-4457-a8f7-2a809607bcf8">Re: 1 month away and bridesmaid has pulled out - HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]I would seriously think twice about taking advice from posters with fewer than 10 posts.  That's just the blind leading the blind.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

Seriously? Just because someone posts more often doesn't make them an expert. I would listen to others that have been in a similar situation regardless of whether they post regularly or not. The blind leading the blind would be people posting and giving advice when they really have no idea because they've never been in that situation before. Use some common sense.

nekatb

I don't think so. I have two friends that I've asked to be in my wedding but they haven't gone to fitted or purchase their dresses like everyone else. So guess what? They will not be in the wedding. They are two less people that I have to worry about buying bouquets for let alone be concerned with or not they get shoes and fitted. So I think that it would be OK to ask someone else to take her spot. As you stated,"she backed out for personal reasons" so let her handle her personal problems. You move on and be happy.

MyNameIsNot

Why won't this thread die already?

Really, it doesn't matter how many posts you have.  If you are advocating treating people like props, your advice should be ignored at all costs.  

andy71781

I'm just so annoyed that my FI won't make more friends so our sides are even.  Ugh its so annoying.  The pictures are going to be all messed up and its MY DAY.

banana468

I hope you're kidding Andy71781.