Including Non-BMs in the wedding besides being a PA?

laura.dutkiewicz

We are planning on a small wedding of 50 people. With such a small guest size I believe that it's more appropriate to have about 3 to 4 BMs. I've picked ladies that I've been friends with for years and years, but that leaves out my fiance's sister and SIL. I know they'll understand, but still feel a little pinch. My questions is what are other ways to include them in the wedding besides being a PA? Or should I have more BMs? This question not only applies to both my FSILs, but other women on the guest list as well. Any advise or ideas would be greatly appreciated!

Kati0105

First off, don't make someone a PA.  IMO that is a really silly role and underlines the fact that you didn't feel the lady in question was important enough to be a BM.  Do you really need a personal assistant in addition to your BMs?  If your FI wants to, he can ask these women to stand on his side as groomswomen.  Otherwise, just invite them as guests.

mbcdefg

Personal Attendant is not an honor. It's unpaid grunt work. PLEASE do not subject other people to this. It's a lame thing to do to people, even worse than not making the BM cut ("You're not close enough to me to be a BM, but you can run errands for me!")You can have as many or as few bridesmaids as you want. BMs should be your closest friends, so don't set a numerical limit and then cut out loved ones just to fulfill that quota. I agree that a 50-person wedding would look silly with 10 bridesmaids ... but in the long run, it's better to include the people you really want rather than adhere to some lame-o wedding traditions that will just hurt their feelings. That being said, I don't think you're wrong to leave out the two girls if you're not close to them. Personally, I think being readers is a nice honor. There's also Usher, Communion Bearer, maybe singers if they have talent.I would also invite them along to any pre-wedding pampering ni order to include them (spa day, manis and pedis, getting hair and makeup done the day before). Don't make them get treatments done ... just say, "I'd love it if you girls would join us. If you'd rather not get a treatment done, that's fine, we'll have some champagne and all us girls can chat and have fun." If you're in a position to treat them, maybe you could do that. If nothing else, make sure you take some time on the wedding day to hug them and thank them for their love and support. Maybe get a few pro photos with them.

ffmaid

Pa is an task not an honor Honors are BM(groomsmaid), reader, singer, usher,guestIf FI wants them in  teh wedding he should have them as groomsmaids. If you want them then add them better to

ffmaid

I got cut off better to have a large bp for a small wedding and be happy whith who you pick then a small bo and be unhappy with the outcome

mc108

Ditto mbc....couldn't have said it better myself!

duckie1905

Just invite them as guests.  If they are important enough to your FI then he can have them stand up with him. Don't make them PAs, or program attendants, or guestbook attendants or one of the other lame and stupid jobs that brides assign to family and friends.  These things aren't an honor, they are a chore. Especially the PA.  Not only do you not want her as a BM but you are going to boss her around all day and demand she do a job you should be paying someone to do.