siblings in the wedding poll

yenny

How important is it to have your fiancee's siblings in the wedding. Im not close to them.He is not even that close to them but has been in all their weddings.(3) They live in another state. Not sure what the proper manner is. I only have a sister and she is my moh. He has half sisters. I know it s probably up to him, which is what I told him.But I was wondering what you'all thought.

LarissaAnn

It's not. Unless it is. I had my sis as my MOH. I asked his sis to be a BM but she had to drop out. He had his bro as his best man. If it's really important to him, he can have them on his side.

jeannigirl

I don't believe that you should have them in your wedding just because he was in theirs. If your not close to them then don't include them. However since they are his sibs then he can call it anf if he wants them they can stand up with him.

bablingbrooke

I personally think that if sisters and FSILs REALLY want to be in the wedding, you should do it to keep the peace. If they haven't said anything, I wouldn't worry about it. But if you have sisters or FILs who will hold a grudge over it, I think it's the sort of thing that's worth conceding. And this is from someone who asked her only sister, with whom she is NOT close, to be MOH purely out of obligation and has no regrets for having done so.

LarissaAnn

And that ^ is what I meant by "it's not important unless it is."

mbcdefg

I come from a family that would expect siblings to be included. So my opinion - I think it's a good idea to include them unless there's a good reason not to. If nothing else, for the sake of keeping things peaceful in the family. I think it's worth it to deal with an annoying sibling if it'll prevent years of tension.

yenny

Def want to keep the peace and I agree...no tit for tat here...I mean I was in some peoples wedding and they are def not in mines because we have grown apart. We are to visit them soon. He will decide then  how to proceed. Doesnt matter to me. but I think its a great idea to have the on his side. Great idea! Im going to suggest this to him! Although most of the people on my side are friends!

BubbleJ

I have a sister and he has a brother, his brother will be asked to be Best Man, my sister will not a bridesmaid. Have who you want in your wedding party, its your day! And if you aren't close to your fiances siblings I would not invite them to be on your side (he can have them on his if he wants), but if they arent close they might not expect to be in the WP. But you're right, his family on his side should be up to him.

amanda1983

My BIL was in the wedding and my brother was in the wedding but my half sisters weren't. They live out in Utah with my dad and step mom and I am not close with them. Plus they weren't sure if they would make it to the wedding so I didn't even bother asking them. I don't regret it at all. Just make sure that you guys won't regret it if they aren't in the wedding.

BeenthereDonethat04

When ex and I married, I wasn't close to his older sister, but I included her anyway and I know she felt very honored.   We got along though.When DH and I married, all of our siblings were included, but we see each other often and are fairly close.  That being said, my brother was in both of my weddings and I'm not in his (which isn't small).  It was important for me to include DH's sisters (along with my sister and 3 close friends) because we got along great, DH is close to them and I hoped to have close relationships with them as well.  I also figure that friends come and go, family can be a little harder to get rid off;)

[Deleted User]

FI has one brother and he is a GM. My sister is MOH and my brother is escorting my mom as well as being an usher. In some families people are offended if sibs are not asked, other families it's no big deal. It's up to you and the situation.

SpringBride1114

I have a feeling that I am going to get flack for not having FI's sister in the wedding (she will be 12 at the time) but it is your decision. Ask your FI and see if he really cares, chances are he will not. And if he doesn't care and says it is up to you, then there ya go. You say there not really close so it shouldn't matter.

KJDOHERTY

All of FIs and I's siblings were in our wedding parties.  I like them all, but in my circle/area it's very very odd to not have all siblings in the wedding party.  I'm pretty sure hard feelings would result and people would talk if siblings weren't included, it's one of those things that families don't forget, so I'd try to gauge what his family's feelings are on the subject.

lyndausvi

It was very important to me to have them in the wedding because it was important to him.  They were 15 and 17 years younger than me and I had only met them once (we live a plane ride away from each other).It was important to me to have one of my brother in the wedding that he never met . (I do not like the other one)While mix side look nice, it's just something DH and I do not prefer.  We both were on the same page that  the members of the wedding party supported US in OUR marriage, not just the person on the side they were standing on. 

cody+mandy2010

FI has a sister, but the whole family has kind of pushed her out for various reasons, so she isn't even invited.  If you aren't that close, I don't see any reason for her to have to be in the wedding.

Leah&Christian09

In my family, siblings are pretty much a given in the wedding party.  If a sibling is left out, it pretty much means that there was a falling out.  Because of that, I knew we knew going to ask my SIL from the get go.  If his family is like this, and she's tolerable, I would definately ask.  With three, though, I can see how it would make your WP huge if you had them all.  Maybe you could ask them to do readings or to be ushers or something.

peachkins

Neither of us had a problem with having the others' siblings in the wedding at first.  My brother and his two sister's were all going to be in the wedding party.  Before we chose everyone, FI had a falling out with one of his sisters and she was no longer a choice for the wedding party.  They're doing better now, but after what she put him through if he wanted her in the wedding I would have to insist she be on his side.  Like pp, I would recommend this option for you.  If he doesn't care, then don't have them in it at all.   

BeenthereDonethat04

In my family, siblings are pretty much a given in the wedding party. If a sibling is left out, it pretty much means that there was a falling out.^This^Unless the family is huge, siblings are normally in there at the weddings I've been to.My brother included our other brother (as BM), my DH, our sister's DH, the bride's brother and a good buddy as groomsmen.  Her side?  Her MOH is her sister and the BMs are all "good" friends.  On their wedding page she claims to be "so close" to me and my sister (a PA, I backed out) while she can party it up with her bridesmaids.  I thought we were pretty close, but I guess we don't live it up enough to make the cut, lol.

JuliaGoolia719

I'm having my finaces sister as a BM, I knew that she wanted to be in the bridal party, we arent super close but I like her and think shes a nice girl.  Even if we werent friends I think I still would have asked her bc I know that she would have been hurt if I didnt, and its not worth starting off my new family as the meanie about the wedding party.  (and yes I know that DF could have had her stand up on his side, but shes pretty traditional and I think she would have taken that as me not wanting her on my side, not worth it)  I know that the wedding is "all about the bride" but for me Id much rather make things as smooth as possible for everyone to make sure that neither DF or I alienate our new family members.

Future Mrs. Pericas

I would've been hurt if my FI didn't want to have my two brothers in the wedding.  Since their guys I can't have them on my side! lol  I'm having his sister as my MOH but I've known her a really long time & she so happens to be my best friend so I totally lucked out with that!  So I decided to also ask to of his favorite cousins to be bm's since he's asked my two brothers.

Future Mrs. Pericas

meant to write *two* of his favorite cousins, not to!

Leah&Christian09

Since their guys I can't have them on my side!Why not?

ffmaid

It depends on family dynamics and he should judge that. Personally in my family it would be a huge insult to not include a sibling but thats my family his may be different. I know folks don't always include siblings but make sure you think long term not just day of.

duckie1905

I am (or at least was) close with DH's stepsister, so she was a BM.My brother and DH are not close, so my brother attended as a guest.We are a family that expects siblings to be included and you know what?  My brother didn't care and my parents got over it really fast.

ffmaid

FYI to the bride who does not want her bros on her side. My DH had his sister on his side and I had my best friend who happens to be a guy on my side. ( my bridesman whore the same tux as the guys but with a blue vest in lieu of the silver guys side vest SIL as groomswoman wore a black and white dress that was knee length like the BM she bought her dress at white house black market)

nuremenosh

He has one sister and she is in the wedding. Where I come from its bad form to exclude sibs but it wasn't hard for me to include her anyway because she's so great