Groomsmen drama

pennstated912

My brother is a GM in our WP and since my FI asked him about 7 months ago, he's been passively negative about everything. He's never really said anything bad about FI except the whole debacle with whether to have the wedding in FI's town or ours (our families live about an hour and a half apart). At that point, he was just siding with my mother.But, he was dragging his feet about getting fitted for the tux because the place was in FI's town (another GM, coming from 3 hours away, got fitted before he did). It was not that he didn't have the time, he just didn't want to do it. Now, he's completely washed his hands of FI's bachelor party and is not even attending.It was his perrogative to accept the invitation to be in the wedding. He didn't have to. And we would've been fine with that. Yet, here we are a month from the wedding and it feels like every GM responsibility (even coming to the rehearsal) is a struggle. I'm just frustrated.

mbcdefg

Sucks :(I'd just expect nothing more from him than to get the tux and show up to the wedding. If he's going to be a pill, then it's probably better that he's not around for the other stuff anyway. And since he's your brother, he's going to be in your family for (hopefully) a very long time to come. It's not as easy as writing off a bad friend. Avoiding an argument now might save you years of headache.

bablingbrooke

Driving 90 minutes to get fitted for a tux wouldn't appeal to me either.  I get that it's frustrating.  But this isn't your problem.  It's your FI's, if he chooses to make it one. None of our GM came to the rehearsal; neither did any BM (the church would only let us have rehearsal at 2 pm on a Thursday for our Friday night wedding and all our WP was OOT).  It wasn't a problem; they were capable of walking and standing with directions given the day-of, and this guy will too.  My DH's BM didn't come to his bachelor party.  He lived.  Again, not your problem so let it go.

LarissaAnn

Don't take it to heart. DH's brother was his best man, and he didn't do the bach party (didn't get ID in time because he flaked out) and was the last to get fitted for a tux - just 1 or 2 weeks before the wedding. The brother loves DH, he's just a little flaky, that's all. And he did a great job on the day of - showed up ON TIME, IN his tux, and delivered a great toast. Perfect.

kebmtm071605

Most of our GM did not get fitted for tuxes until the month before the wedding.  There's plenty of time.  Also, there's no reason why he can't get measured by a local tailor and just call in his measurements to the tux shop.

banana468

Why can't your brother go get measured at a local place and then call the measurements into the place that's an hour and a half away? That sounds fairly reasonable. You can just say, "The place needs your measurements by X date. If you don't want to wear a tux and be a BM, that's perfectly fine too. We'll love you either way." And leave it up to him to decide. This may be a way that he's got control after you chose to have the wedding in a place that he didn't want. Don't let the behavior change the situation and act like it doesn't matter.