Bridesmaid Choices

Heather2121

I have been having nightmares about this weeks. I have four female cousins that I was very close to growing up. One of my cousins is the same age as me, in fact, we are only a day apart so we celebrated every birthday together and went to high school together as well. I was a BM in her sister's wedding last year but her sister chose to include me and my sisters but not my other female cousins. I have never been very close to her sister so I don't want her to be one of my bridesmaids. My cousin that I have been very close to is now very unrealiable and lies to me regularly. Is it awful if I don't include her? I know it will hurt her but I can't trust her. Any suggestions on other ways to include them? Or should I just include my closest cousin even though I don't trust her, just to keep from hurting her? I'm sure I always imagined I would include her but now when I think about it, I know I can't rely on her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

mbcdefg

Include people you're currently close to. Don't include people out of guilt or obligation. If others' feelings are hurt, they'll just need to get over it. If you have to talk yourself into including someone, that's probably a good sign that you should NOT include them. Another way to honor someone would be to ask them to do a reading. Or sing/play an instrument if they're talented. Maybe participate in some kind of religious ritual, like a candle lighting or bringing up Communion or something. Otherwise, just let them enjoy themselves as honored guests and be sure to get a nice photo with them before the party's over.

emilykathleen511

How much do you have to be able to trust someone and rely on them for them to be in your wedding? They just have to buy a dress, show up on the wedding day, walk down the aisle, stand quietly during the ceremony, and pose for pictures...how much reliability and trust does that require? If you are close to her, and she can handle the above duties, she should be by your side. Anything other than the above duties are not required of bridesmaids and are extras that she can choose or choose not to be a part of.

banana468

Ditto MBC.  If you're not feeling close to the person then don't ask her to be in the wedding.  PP is right that BMs don't have duties but I wouldn't ask someone who lied to me to be in my wedding either.