Siblings in the wedding party (more like - not in)

cch923

My fiance and I have decided to have a pretty small wedding party.  3 each.    I would like him to include my brothers on his side...but he says if we do that then I need to have his sisters on my side.  No offense to his sisters but I just flat out don't want them up there with me.  He is not having his brother stand with him either.  (I have two brothers and he has 3 sisters and 1 brother.  His siblings are much older - 20+ years and he isn't very close with them.)I am alot closer with my brothers and therefore want them to be a part of my day.  Do you think I should fight my fiance on this or let it go?  What else could my brothers do to be a part of it?Thanks.

trix1223

Put your brothers on your side and he puts his sisters on his side. Problem is solved. WPs are not about symmetry. You don't have to have the same numbers on each side. WPs are not about gender. It is not all that unusual to have mixed gender WPs these days. WPs are about having those you want standing with you on your wedding day.

bablingbrooke

Couldn't your brothers be up on your side with you? Remember, your FI chooses his side and he chooses yours. Since you don't like him telling you who should be on your side, you shouldn't tell him who should be on his. My personal stance on siblings in the wedding party is that if the siblings or FI's siblings will hold a grudge about not being included OR if it would be expected to have them in the WP (meaning people will talk if a sibling isn't included, my family is one of these types), you should have them. It will save you headaches years from now if they're the type who will bring it up at every opportunity. If they really won't care (and being 20+ years older, my guess is they probably won't), I wouldn't worry about it.

Leah&Christian09

If your brothers are so important to you, they should be standing up for you on your side. If he wants his siblings, he can ask them. You should each choose the people that matter most to you to stand up for you, and there's your number, rather than choosing some random number and asking people to fill slots.

cch923

Thanks for the opinions.  I might have them stand with me...

ffmaid

Your brothers can be bridesmen and stand on your side since they woudl be there for you and you love them so much. My bridesman wore a tux that matched the guys but with a blue vest to match my side We also had his sister as a groomswoman which you rfi could do. She wore a black and white dress from white house black market but knee length like the rest of our gals.  

*BeachBride0410*

CCH-  How many guests are you having?  My brother is going to be an usher for us.

BeenthereDonethat04

My little brother got married this past weekend.  SIL siblings were included in the WP, two of our siblings were in the WP and my sister and I were asked to carry everyone's crap around all day (while our husbands were included as gms).  The neat thing?  We are just as close to our brother and we get along great with SIL as well.  It hurt that her siblings were considered important enough to include in a rather big wedding party and we weren't.  Equally hurtful is that it was clear SIL picked the WP and our brother didn't speak up and say something.If you want your brothers included and he's okay with that, then you should be okay with including his sisters if that is what he wants.  If girls are on the groom's side and guys are on the bride's side, that's okay. 

TheFutureMrsM-LoungingBeachside

 20+ years They are still his siblings, twenty years older or not.  You honestly cannot insist that your siblings be part of the wedding party (but not on your side) if you aren't prepared to ask his siblings to stand up on your side.  Consider asking them to stand up on your side....or since you asked what else they could do they can be ushers, they can do readings, if it is a Nuptial mass they can bring up the gifts.

duckie1905

If your brothers mean that much to you then have them stand on your side.  You do not have any right to dictate who he chooses, even if they are your siblings.  At the same time, you have every right to not have his sisters on your side, especially if you don't want them there. He picks his, you pick yours.  End of story.

Krissimarie

my Brother is an usher, and his mom forced me to have FSIL be a brides maid after FI told me it would never come down to her being in the wedding, but FMIL wanted it even so she asked his brothers wife to be a bM. FI and my brother are close, but my brother didnt want to wear a tux and asked if he could wear jeans and a shirt/tie/jacket, so we just decided to put all the ushers in the same outfits.