To All the Brides with Far Away Bridal Parties

AmandaS23

It concerns me the number of brides who come on this board upset or freaking out that someone in their bridal party lives far away and won't be "on hand" to help with wedding related stuff.  I just want to say that no one in my bridal party lives in the same state as me.  All three will be flying in one to two days before the wedding.  They aren't here to help me stuff invitations or DIY my flowers or go to tastings with me.  I even went by myself to pick out my dress.No one is throwing me a shower or a bach. party.  But you know what...I'm ok with all of that.  Why?  Because I know that they will be standing next to me on the most important day of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.

bablingbrooke

Good post! And you never know, they may be planning a surprise for you. No one in the WP, including me and H, lived in the same city as each other or the wedding. No one was unpaid staff. And I think because there was no wedding "stuff" for them to do, my BMs threw an awesome OOT bach party for me and my OOT aunts threw an in-town shower two days before the wedding. Didn't ask for any of it, people did it out of the goodness of their hearts. But do you think any of that would have happened had I moaned and groaned about how they weren't going to be able to hold my hand during the planning?

*BeachBride0410*

I hear ya!  2 of the 3 BM's live in a different state then I do.  We have been able to figure out dresses and I have asked advice from them on invites, or decorations.  Thats the beauty of the internet.  Now I am have a shower, actually 2...thanks to my FMIL and my mom. 

lindy.linder

My MOH lives in the wedding city, I live in DC with one of the bridesmaids and then a different bridesmaid is now moving from Philadelphia to Maryland and the last one lives in Upstate new york. I told them one of my parent's friends is hosting me a shower over christmas time but that they don't have to come, I even told them if they can't make it in for the rehearsal dinner its ok. I think my MOH is planning a low key Bach. party for right before the wedding but if she can't I don't care.I also told them to wear whatever shoes, and jewlery they want. I've been doing most of this all on my own with a little help from 2 of them occasionally. The other two are busy and its my wedding to organize so I don't care if they want to help with DIY or anything else.I love my friends. As long as they are there at the ceremony and hopefully having a blast at the reception thats all I can ask for

stina93446

I agree. 2 of my bms live in different states from the wedding venue, not to mention I live 3000 miles away, with no bms living anywhere near me. I feel like girls who don't expect anything from the bp are the ones who have the best time.

[Deleted User]

::Raises Hand:: Me too. I live in London, my wedding is outside Philadelphia, 2 BM are in Boston, 1 in Western PA, my sister is in college (read bubble). It's my wedding, not theirs. They are excited for me, ask me questions about the wedding, but they all have their own lives and stuff going on. I accept that and honestly I think a have a lot less stress and drama.

duckie1905

Ditto, excellent post!It concerns me too, because that tells me the bride only cares about having help, not having a friend.

blackfire5th

I live 1000 miles away from my bridal party and hadn't seen 1/2 of them for over a year at the time of the wedding. They didn't help me do anything. My little sister (MOH) with the help of my Mom threw me a suprise shower a week before the wedding and my little sis also put together a bach. party for me (of which I paid for my own food and ticket into Fort Fun) It was awesome! All of my bm asked if they could help with anything before the wedding. So I gave them a list of my DIY stuff (folding programs, making placecards, etc.) and asked for times that they were available if they wanted to help. No one ever gave me a time, and I didn't bug them because I figured that non of them really wanted to do the work or they were busy with their own lives. It worked out fine and I managed to complete everything either on my own or with the help from my family while we visited. The wedding was great! I have a ton of photos of everyone in the party smiling during the ceremony because they were so happy for DH and I and were happy to stand up with us, and that is what really mattered.