Man of Honor

barijane

Hi all,Our wedding party currently stands at 7 bridesmaids and 9 groomsmen.  FI's brother is the Best Man.  My brother (and only sibling) is one of the groomsmen.  I haven't chosen a Maid of Honor, but it dawned on me that my brother is the closest with me of all the wedding party (except maybe FI!).  I want to ask him to be Man of Honor, but I would love some advice first.  Can one young 20-smthng guy be comfortable in a bridal shower with 8 other gals?  Should my brother still be ok to go to the bachelor party and any other fun guy events?  Does he really have to hold my bouquet during the ceremony?  Basically, how can I arrange this so he is honored and not emasculated?  hahaha!  Thanks in advance!!!  --B

blackfire5th

Haha, I'm sure he would be just thrilled to plan a shower, I'm sure it is every guys dream I'd ask him, and have him hold your bouquet during the ceremony (as long as he is okay with that), but you have 7 other bm. Let them plan the shower and your bach party. Let your brother go out with your FI during his bach party. He would probably be more comfortable that way. Of course if he wants to plan the shower and your bach. party, more power to him!

swim1011

I'm with the PP.  Let him stand up there with you, and if he really wants to help you out with other stuff (eg- favors, invites, whatever) let him.  If not, don't worry about it.  Have whoever stands next to him up front hold the flowers, and since you have 7 BMs, let them plan the bach party and bridal shower, assuming they want to throw either one.  All he really needs to do is put on a tux and show up!

trix1223

A friend of mine had her brother as her honor attendant, and her DH had his sister as his honor attendant.  It worked out just fine.I think that as people are getting smarter about WPs (realizing that they don't have to be symmetrical or gender specific), they can also get smarter about other "traditions" that are falling by the wayside.Showers can be mixed gender.  Parties can be mixed gender.  Or attendants can go to single gender parties, regardless of which side they stand on.Why don't you talk with your brother and see what he's comfortable with?

Sooles

im greedy, so i have a best man and a MOH. my MOH will hold my bouquet, and my best man (also my brother) will present fi's ring.just an option.

rclark28

My brother is my Man of Honor. He is standing up with me and the wedding and will be giving the toast and doing as the other groomsmen including FI bachelor party. My bridesmaids have planned my shower and bachelorette party and will be holding my bouquet. Don't ask him or expect him to do the "girlie" stuff- most guys aren't interested. My brother is fine with it because he gets to be one of the guys, but standing up with me.

ffmaid

1. Re shower it could be coed or honestly he could just skip it entirely . Party attendance is always optional 2. If he is invited to teh bachlor party he is welcome to attend if invited to bachlorette he is alaso welcome to attend  . Party attendance is always optional 3.Yes you coudl hand him the bouquet or hand it to another bm4. talk to him about what he views as making this and honor My best friend is a 6'8 foot guy. He was my bridesman ( my twin sister was my moh)  He wore a black tux with blue vest to match my side. He attended the shower and the bachlorette ( we went out for an overnight sail and raft up and drank and hung out and ate a lot ) and he attended the bachlor party (  drinking steak and strippers)None of my bm had bouquets ( I kinda as a girl do not like holding them so why woudl i ask my friends too either- and saved a lot of money. However in the past I have seen the bridesman boutenear match the gals flowers. he processed in in the bridal procession and on the exit walked with the groomsmaid ( my sil) but I have also seen two guys walk out side by side they just do not in that case link arms 

mbcdefg

I think it's awesome to ask him to be Man of Honor. Go for it!As far as the other stuff, just talk to him and ask what he's comfortable with. Just because he's your attendant doesn't mean he's obligated to throw or attend a shower for you, or that he can't go to the bachelor party. I would ask HIM what he'd like to do, then talk to the other bridesmaids and tell them what he wants (whether he wants to be included in any showers/bachelorettes that may take place, or if he'd rather not be asked). Likewise, once you find out what he wants to do about a bachelor party, your FI can spread the word to the groomsmen as to whether or not to include him in a bachelor party.

jeannigirl

I think that is awesome that you asked your brother to be part of your BP. I agree with the other gals just ask him what he is comfortable doing. It is pretty common to see this in alot of weddings these days.

bethbloom

My brother's my Man of Honor. I don't think you should make him, or expect him, to plan a shower for you. Let him be a guy in that respect. Besides, if someone wants to plan a shower for you, they will, regardless of their title.And I'm not making my brother hold my bouquet. He's going to pass it down to the next girl in line.Get him a bout that matches the BMs bouquets, have his tie/vest/etc be the same colors as the BMs dresses and call it a day. He can give a speech for you, if he wants, at the reception just like any honor attendant would.

barijane

Thanks for the support and suggestions, guys!  I love the hilarious images you all conjured up of my bro planning a girly tea party or something - LOL!!!  I'd prefer not to have any showers or extra parties, since everyone but me is OOT and I don't want them to be stressed financially or time-wise, but I did hear a rumor that they are trying to get a little something together, and it most likely won't be a guy-friendly event.  I think I'll just ask him to be Man of Honor and tell him he's welcome to attend, or not attend, any extra parties that may happen to come up, and we can add or subtract any MOH "duties" he wants.  Thanks again!!!  --B

Voltinxi

I have a man of honor (we call him Dude of Honor - DOH) but basically the girl BMs have stepped up to do the girly parts. I want my DOH next to me but I can't expect him to get male part balloons etc :-)