Choosing Bridal Party....

tiffgriffin7

So, I think I already know what the consensus will be from reading other posts on the board but it would be really helpful for me to explain my situation and get some opinions. My fiancee and I had originally planned on just having his sister be my MOH and my brother be his best man. We are both pretty happy with this scenario but lately I have been thinking of how much fun it would be and meaningful for me to have my best friends from college stand up with me and my fiancee has a great group of friends he wants to include too. This would end up being a total of 4 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen but I am not really worried about it being uneven. My problem is that I also have 3 friends from high school who may be hurt that I didn't include them. However I don't feel close to these girls anymore and I feel that they will cause drama if they are bridesmaids, especially my 'best friend'. We were really good friends growing up and still talk but our friendship has changed since I had to tell her that her fiancee was cheating on her and she basically has told me to mind my own business (they are still together btw, which I don't understand). Plus she is high-maintenance and I feel she will stress me out more than anything else. So basically I feel that if I have a bridal party (which my fiancee and I would like to do) I have to include my high school friends and that leads me to not even having a bridal party at all. Should I let that be the deciding factor or should I just include the people that are meaningful to me even if it hurts some feelings?

megk8oz

Pick who you want, not who wants to be picked.Nobody really should ever "expect" to be a BM, I always get annoyed when people say that. I mean, I'm not annoyed that you're saying your friends are expecting it, I'm annoyed that your friends have that kind of sense of entitlement.Again, pick who you want, have no regrets.

peachkins

Totally agree with pp.  Just ask the people that you really want to.  If you really aren't as close to your high school friends as what you were, they may not be as surprised as you think to find out that they weren't picked to be in your BP.  You don't want to make yourself miserable by asking people into your BP that you don't want there.

[Deleted User]

Ask the girls from college and not HS.

tiffgriffin7

Thanks! All of your advice makes me feel much better about making this decision.

trix1223

You already know the answer to your question, so just go ahead and do what you know you want to.And for future reference:  you are the fiancee.  He is the fiance.

mbcdefg

If casual/former friends base their entire opinion of you on whether or not you ask them to be bridesmaids ... then you don't need people like that in your life. You can't please everyone when planning your wedding. Be kind to people, but don't inconvenience yourself or go against your heart's desire to accommodate them.

bablingbrooke

If you're not close to them anymore, chances are they aren't close to you to the point that they would be hurt to not be in your WP. History with friends is important but by no means obligates you to ask them to be BMs. Invite them to the wedding and keep in touch, but you don't have to ask them to be in the WP. A good test for who "should" be picked is the awesome/terrible/3am test: If something awesome happened or terrible happened and it was 3 am, who would you call? The people you put on that list are the ones you should ask.