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Maid of Honor MIA

amwentworthamwentworth
First Comment
in Wedding Party
Hey girls~ So I'm 17 days from getting married!! and my maid of honor has just stopped returning calls from me and from any of the bridesmaids. I've been trying to contact her for a couple weeks and not just about wedding stuff and she's not answering or returning my calls. I mean she is planning my bachelorette which honestly isn't that important to me...i just which i or others could reach her. It is awfully close and I don't know what to do. Now I do know that she is okay (i was starting to get worried about her) because she has made posts online. I really haven't asked much of anything from her or my other bridesmaids so I can't imagine I've made her upset with anything...I really don't kinow what to do cause this is clearly crunch time. If there is any advice please help!!
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Re: Maid of Honor MIA

  • ffmaidffmaid
    1000 Comments
    Chill for the next 2 weeks. It seems so close to you and weeks away for her. Relax
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Send her an email. But honestly, there's no reason for her to be getting 100 phone calls from you or anyone else about the bach party, wedding, etc., and your post makes it sound like she's being called a lot. I would want to drown that out too. She may need a break from wedding stuff for just a little bit, especially if she's planning a party and getting lots of opinions (solicited or unsolicited). Send out a group email with the dates and times for everything and leave it at that. She's your MOH for a reason so you should just trust her, especially since the party isn't that important to you.
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Just for reinforcement, I'm going to echo the other smart ladies here. Give your MOH a break. There's really nothing that she needs to be contacted about right now. Relax and enjoy your 17 days.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    You are bugging her.  Chill out until the wedding.  At this point I'm sure she has all the info she needs, she's just annoyed with you.
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  • prncskristaprncskrista member
    10 Comments
    I'm all for chilling out and not bugging your BMs for every little thing, but I have to say I think it's rude when you call someone and get no response at all.  I mean, is it that hard to respond and say something like, "Hi, it me MOH, I have a ton going on right now so I don't have time to talk, but I haven't fallen of the face of the planet."You kind of hope 17 days out you could get some kind of response.  The only thing you can do is send out the schedule and try not to let it stress you out, and if you need any help, ask the BMs that respond, LOL
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    I mean, is it that hard to respond and say something like, "Hi, it me MOH, I have a ton going on right now so I don't have time to talk, but I haven't fallen of the face of the planet."I don't know about everyone else but if someone is really getting on my nerves I don't contact them until I know that I won't go BSC on their behinds.  It can take a couple of weeks before they aren't bugging me anymore.
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    Seems to me like they have a bit more to do than buy a dress and show up. Exactly, it seems like that to YOU.To others, the only requirements are to buy the dress and show up.  I don't like hearing about weddings and am actually ignoring a bride that is annoying me right now (just a lowly BM though, not the MOH).I don't have to talk about something that I'm tired of talking about.  If the bride wanted to talk about others things I'd be all for it but she doesn't.  Which is funny because the last thing I wanted to talk about 14 days before my wedding was my wedding.
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  • ffmaidffmaid
    1000 Comments
    Well my MOH did not hold flowers or fix a train at all. Then again we skipped flowers and I did not wear a train. No the guests do not give teh best man the cards they give them to the groom . The best man gives a toast and then has a blast at the reception often in my experience ending up a smidge toasted himself. Parties may be planned by whomever wants to host them. Yes it is lovely if they do all sorts of sweet things. But this is the difference between the minimum( dress and show up) and the ideal giving cutsy loves wedding planning person (throws tons of parties does cute little silly frippery things ect)
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  • sbailliesbaillie member
    10 Comments
    Well my MOH did not hold flowers or fix a train at all. Then again we skipped flowers and I did not wear a train.Of course they can't do it if you don't have it! I guess I'm just lucky that my MOH is the person who has been by my side for years and would do anything for me, and vice versa. I guess I'm also lucky that my wonderful WP, family, and friends (who are not even in the WP) have been up for helping me with whatever they could through this whole planning process. They understand it's not easy and want to help with whatever they can. I never made a demand or asked them to do anything. They helped because they wanted to.
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  • ffmaidffmaid
    1000 Comments
    Now it is great that they are doing this out of the kindness of their hearts for you nobody is saying different. But it is a kindness not an obligation. Do you understand teh difference? They are doing it to be nice and it is but they are not required to do so.
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  • nursecrysnursecrys
    First Comment
    "I mean, is it that hard to respond and say something like, "Hi, it me MOH, I have a ton going on right now so I don't have time to talk, but I haven't fallen of the face of the planet."" I completely agree with that. Nothing annoys me more then when someone cannot return a phone call or even a short e-mail. I give people a week to respond after that they are just being plain rude. The busy schedule doesn't fly with me, I work full time, homeschool my 3 kids and I am planning my wedding while my FH works and is in school himself. As you can tell, I am having issues with my sister, dad, and my bestfriend over this. They can't even respond to e-mails on dresses and necklaces for them when I have already told them I am paying for their attire. As for my dad, he can't even respond to the e-mail with addresses that I requested including his own. I am getting to the point where I am going to have a small civial wedding wearing my dress with long train with only close family and no attendants except for the kids.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    nurse, that might be because your wedding is a YEAR away. Do you know how many times I had to pester my parents for addresses for their guests? More than I can count. It just wasn't a priority at the time I asked and when it got down to the wire I got everything I needed. People aren't going to step lively for an event that, to them, is eons away and when you don't even need things done now. People, seriously, chill. Just because you're engaged does not mean that the world is on call whenever you may need them.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • mhickey426mhickey426 member
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Comments
    I think its rude for your friend not to get back to you or anyone else. Regardless of the fact that she is your MOH she should want to get back to her friend.  Like everyone else said it isn't the most important day of her life but call to say hi like a normal friend does.  You could be calling her about the wedding or just to say whats up.  I think it is weird that she isnt getting back to you or any of the bridesmaids.  This makes me think that she no longer wants to be a part of the wedding for whatever reason and just doesn't know how to tell you.  I doubt it is because she is pissed at you because im sure she would have told you in a an angry rant.  Maybe something has come up and she feels really guilty about it or she is just rude.
    Anniversary Lilypie Maternity tickers image due, March 15
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  • ffmaidffmaid
    1000 Comments
    Second stage although I want the people seriously chill in the quote too "People, seriously, chill. Just because you're engaged does not mean that the world is on call whenever you may need them. "
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  • prncskristaprncskrista member
    10 Comments
    okay, again . . . let's take WP out of it . . . when you talk to your friends, does it upset you when they blow you off and never get back to you, continuously? I know people are busy, but in this world of text messaging, e-mails, Facebook, there really is no excuse for complete non-communication. I don't think it's a Bridezilla attitude to want someone to get back to you eventually . . . I'm not saying that hour or that day or the next, but at some point.There's nothing really you can do about how other people act, so you have to just say whatever and focus on the two of you. But, I think being a little worried and aggravated is completely justifiable.
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  • ifeaneedhelpifeaneedhelp
    10 Comments
    If the bride knows that the MOH is okay because the MOH still has time to post on the internet, than the MOH has time to RETURN A CALL.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Internet posts take 30 seconds. Phone calls can take much longer. So no, she may not have time to call people if she has time to post online. I didn't last year, and the only reason I kept posting on facebook was for people not in school with me to know I was still alive. Just saying.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • amwentworthamwentworth
    First Comment
    I just wanted to thank everyone for their posts. My MOH has gotten back to me! yay! =) And i just wanted to clear something up...when iwas calling her i wasn't just calling her about the wedding...I was calling her as a friend...then after days and days and I couldn't get through...i was then worried about the wedding. Anyways,,,a lot of you had mentioned the wedding day schedule...i am a week out and i am still soo confused on this...i mean i have a general idea of how everything is going to go, but i am freaking out stressed. I have tried to plan everything wayyy ahead and i feel like nothing is planned at all. I mean everything with my ceremony is set...but it;s whos going to pick this up, where do we meet, when should i have the people come to do our hair, etc. etc. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP!! ~stressed out bride
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If it's stressing you, you're overthinking it. Not knowing what you're doing (and please don't respond with all the things you need to plan), no one can tell you how to schedule it. If it helps, my BMs did their hair and makeup elsewhere then came to the reception site to get dressed about 2 1/2-3 hours before the ceremony and we took photos starting about 2 hours before the ceremony. I cannot tell you how much easier it is if they do their own hair/makeup. You're not missing out on anything--the fun part is getting dressed together, not doing hair and makeup. So I'd let them do their own thing for hair/makeup and tell them what time to come over before the ceremony. I highly recommend doing photos beforehand--you look nicer, it calms you down, and makes things run much more smoothly during the reception.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    You need to just relax. Seriously, you are overthinking this and making everything a lot more difficult and stressful then it has to be.
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