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two things (a little long)

Kay - I have a couple of questions - one more of a vent/frustration...1) I'm having my FIs twin sisters as BMs (two of four) - one lives not too far away but the other in CA. I've met one a couple of times, but not the other (she never comes home for holidays etc, and we are trying to save money for wedding/house). I have NO idea what to get someone I've never met as a present (and FI's no help). I've "spoken" to her through email a lot though, but I'm not getting any sense of what she might like - and I felt uncomfortable just asking. Any thoughts?2) I told my BMs that they could choose whatever dres they liked in the same color. Turns out three of the four liked the same exact dress and all ordered it - MOH thought #4 would just go ahead and buy since everyone else agreed to it. The fourth ordered a different dress - she isn't the MOH. She actually offered to drop out of being a BM if I thought it would look too bad. I told her of course not - that I wanted her to be in the party etc. Problem is - although I still stand by that, I do think it'll look really weird to have one person in a different dress who isn't the MOH. I know I'll get over it and won't care even a day afterwards that they weren't all in the same dress - I guess I just want some validation for feeling a little disappointed about it.

Re: two things (a little long)

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    To answer your first question: Ask your FI what she likes, as it is his sister,then get her a gift card to that sort of stuff. Ex: Books-Barnes & Noble, Coffee- Starbucks, etc. Now the second one, it'll be fine. I wish I wasn't at work so I could upload my BMs together. They had different dresses and it looked totally fine.
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    1. I think a gift card is pretty failsafe. See if you can find out if there's a store or a restaurant she particularly likes. If you can't find anything, getting it for a place like Target would be good (she can always use it to buy stuff like toilet paper and shampoo, if nothing else). There's also Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Starbucks, a supermarket or gas station, etc. Can you ask your in-laws? Maybe they know of something she'd like - a particular brand of wine or chocolates, a hobby she has (camping, art, yoga, reading), etc.2. It'll be fine. Don't worry about it. Nobody will notice or care.
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    1. Ask Fi it is his sister he has to come up with the suggestion 2. You told them any dress in a certain color you have to stand by that . However if the 3 have not yet ordered perhaps you can mention to them it may look better if they select something else. So there is actually varietyIf not oh well
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    1) I agree w/ pp.  Ask her parents what she may like or get a giftcard 2)  MOH thought #4 would just go ahead and buy since everyone else agreed to itThat wasn't the agreement.  You told BMs that they could choose their dress, and BM #4 decided that she liked a different dress.  You did the right thing by not saying anything, but don't be disappointed in her because she chose a dress that she felt beautiful in.
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    Just to clarify - I'm not disappointed in her at all. I just thought that my MOH would absolutely not like the dress that the twins liked (they wanted to wear the same thing - thought it would be a cute "twins" thing) and so two dresses would be different.  Just didn't work out as planned - but if everything alwasy worked as as plnned life would be awfully boring...Everyone - good call on asking FMIL - although I have a feeling that her answer will be "oh, just whatever...I'm sure she'll appreciate it whatever it is" - she's very non-intrusive that way...
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    Not sure if this would work for you, but maybe you could have them all accessorize slightly differently? I don't mean you should force them to wear certain things, just suggest more of a range of styles so they each show their personalities through that and each looks more unique. That might make the difference in dresses a bit less shocking, since they'll overall look more different. Or give them pashminas to wear during the ceremony in different colors.And FWIW, I would be a little disappointed at first too, although it sounds like you've done the right thing by sticking to what you said and just allowing yourself a moment of "oh well..." on here :)
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    Oooh - pashminas are a good idea. My MOH asked if she could wear one anyway (why I was surprised that she actually liked the dress - she HATES strapless dress on herself) and it will be chilly I'm betting...
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