Timeline for asking Wedding Party

sharonephone

I have seen comments on here about not asking your bridal party to be part of the wedding until 10 months prior. I have never heard of this and when I saw it on here, I tried researching the etiquette for this on the knot, weddingchannel.com and even googling the question and nothing of an exact timeline has come up. In the 3 times I was asked to be part of the bridal party, I was asked 10 months in advance (but before the wedding date was set), 2 months in advance (when the wedding was originally scheduled for 16 months ahead, but pushed up b/c of an unexpected pregnancy), and 18 months ahead of time. I'm asking b/c my wedding probably is not for over a year, but I would like to give the bridal party plenty of time b/c almost all will require plane tickets, hotels, etc...

mbcdefg

Nothing's set in stone. However, people here tend to suggest the 8-10 month mark because there's usually no need to ask any sooner. That's plenty of time for BMs to get dresses, make travel arrangements and save up some money if need be (maybe a year out if they live in another country or have extenuating circumstances where they need that much notice). If you read through this board, you'll see a lot of posts from people who asked their bridesmaids a year or more ahead of time and are now regretting it. Either because the BMs got wedding burnout and don't seem to care about the wedding anymore, or because the relationship changed in that amount of time. While it doesn't always hurt to ask 10-12+ months in advance, sometimes it does. You're just cutting back on your chances of a problem if you wait a little longer. I asked about 11 months out, but we haven't done anything yet ... we're getting off-the-rack dresses about 4 months ahead of time, and I haven't asked for their help with planning at all (I don't really need it, to be honest). The one thing I did was ask if they wanted to come along while I shopped for my gown but that was voluntary - they each came along to one trip and provided a lot of helpful insight.

bablingbrooke

I think from the one year mark on you're in good shape. I asked mine between 10 and 13 months and it wasn't any sort of issue. Usually you don't have a set date or location until then, so it's hard to ask ppl to commit to being in a WP if they don't know when or where it is. More than a year can lead to wedding burnout, and it's a lot to ask your friends to stay as excited as you might want them to for that long. 10 months is PLENTY of time to make travel arrangements. I think 10 months is more a guideline than a hard and fast rule. Like anything in wedding planning.

bablingbrooke

Just don't be like the girl who posted on here crying that her friend wouldn't commit to being MOH because the wedding was 3 1/2 years away. That was a little extreme. DH and I haven't even known each other for 3 1/2 years

banana468

Please don't wait until it's too close either.A male friend of mine was invited to a black tie optional wedding and wasn't sure if he would be renting a tux.  The decision was made FOR him when he as asked to be a GM TWO WEEKS before the wedding.

wed0608

I asked my bridesmaids 10 months out and everything worked out fine. On the other hand, a friend of mine whose wedding I am in this weekend asked everyone in her wedding party (except me) 17 friggin' months out from her wedding. Needless to say she didn't stick with the same lineup which wound up causing some hurt feelings among some. She ended up settling on her WP in about the same time frame as me, 10 months out. I would wait until you are 10-8 months out to ask, when you're really sure. PP's are correct in that friendships change, but it does still sting a little IF I let myself wonder why I wasn't important enough to be included in the first go-round.

LarissaAnn

Banana, was he a fill-in?

banana468

I'm not sure but I doubt it. I heard that the groom was just so laid back that he just didn't get around to it.

LarissaAnn

Wow. I don't think I was that laid back when I was 2!

banana468

Ha!  When I was two I was an only child (baby brother arrived when I was three).  That was MY sandbox!  :-)

LarissaAnn

LOL! I was almost 7 when my sis was born and was an oddly generous kid. I gave her my fave stuffed animals! But seriously, I thought I had cornered the market on procrastination... bu that guy has me beat by a mile!

sharonephone

Thanks ladies for the clarification. My BFF/MOH has been my best friend for 12 yrs so there is no one else that would take her place. The others have all been friends of mine from 7-30 years, so again, I hardly anticipate any changes, but I will definitely wait until date and place are booked and done.