Bad or Practical Groomsman gift?

kjane12

My fiance is a one of two groomsmen to a friend's wedding.  The groom explained, just wear a black suit.  Two days before the actual wedding day, my fiance was getting worried because the groom never said what tie he should wear.  Finally at the rehearsal, he asks, "Was there any kind of tie you guys wanted us to wear?"  And the groom was a little upset because he answered, "Actually, that was our gift for the groomsmen, and it was going to be your surprise at the rehearsal dinner."It was an average blue tie that they were required to wear.  I guess it's nice that the groomsmen didn't have to pay the $8 for a blue tie they each already had in their closet.  But would you consider it a bad gift or just a practical gift?

mbcdefg

I don't consider it a gift at all, since they're asking your FI to wear it as part of his "uniform" for the day. I don't think it's impractical, since the groom/bride might want the GMs wearing a certain tie instead of any old blue tie.We have bought ties for our groomsmen that we're asking them to wear to the wedding because we want a certain look to our wedding party, and they can keep them after the wedding of course ... but we're also getting them other, more personal gifts in addition to that. So I guess that you could consider our ties a "gift" to them, although I would never in a million years just give a guy a tie and say, "You have to wear this to my wedding, and that's also your [only] thank you gift for being in it."I would assume that this guy will be giving your FI something else for being in the wedding, so don't count him as a rude guy just yet. But if not ... yeah, that's incredibly selfish and rude of the groom, but unfortunately there's nothing your FI can do about it without seeming greedy himself (for expecting a gift). It's a Catch-22 situation ... the groom would be selfish for just giving him a tie that he's MAKING your FI wear, but your FI would be selfish to expect a gift in return for being in a friend's wedding.

BelhurstBride

I wouldn't call it a gift at all. Just as I don't count BM jewelry as a gift.

Leah&Christian09

This is just like giving your BMs necklaces to wear to the wedding and pretending it is a gift for them. It is not. Although, upon recieving any gift, I would gratiously say thank you and move on.

bablingbrooke

Eh, I personally think guys aren't as good at this as girls are and the guy probably thought he was doing them a favor. Either way, griping about the quality of a gift is never not rude.

kjane12

Haha, no nothing about my fiance's intention was flawed.  He was doing the nice things because he's a good person and a good friend.  In fact it was me that is more baffled by the gift (hence the post).  Babbling is right that no one can gripe about a gift without coming off as rude, which is why I can only share it with theknot girls, not that I would ever bring it up to the groom or associated friends, anyway.  Now as we're trying to think of gifts to give our wedding party, I wanted to seeing if this is the norm and most practical gift, or if it's a bad idea to replicate. Consensus: bad idea.

BelhurstBride

Was the tie all he got?

mbcdefg

Now as we're trying to think of gifts to give our wedding party, I wanted to seeing if this is the norm and most practical gift, or if it's a bad idea to replicate. Consensus: bad idea. Ditto this, 100000%.

stina93446

Not a gift!

BelhurstBride

Wow. That blows.

szjones

a lot of people are doing that these days.  if you do it for your wedding i would suggest 1)   getting a nice tie they will actually wear again and 2)  something else a little more personal or interesting in addition.