Ugghh!!! Why are boys so difficult?!!?

valdagalcoffman

Hey Ladies!!  I am currently shopping for Bridesmaids and Groomsmen gifts and as we all know - girls are just sooo much easier to shop for!  I have all these super cute ideas and I am pretty much done with their gift bags, but I have no idea where to start with the groomsmen.I am getting hitched next year in October - I know I have plenty of time - but I want to get the simple easy things out of the way so that I can stress out about the bigger more important tasks.  Since we are getting married in October I am doing a Pink themed wedding for Breast Cancer Awareness - I don't mean to toot my own horn - but it's going to be awesome!   As such, I decided to get the groomsmen Pink Breast Cancer ties.  Any other ideas or suggestions.  It seems so trivial to ask these guys to fly out to Chicago and pay for a hotel and gift and in return and them over a tie as a means to say thank you.Ahhh!!!  I am going out of my mind LOL.  Any suggestions are GREATLY appreciated!!!Thanks!Val

banana468

Are the ties part of their attire?  If so, then it doesn't count as part of their gift.Gifts should be for the recipient and if possible, they really shouldn't have anything to do with your wedding itself other than it's geared toward the person in it.  Shop like it's the person's birthday rather than it's your wedding.And FWIW, I wouldn't shop at all for this stuff now.  Give it time.  If you haven't asked your BP yet, I'd rest on that for a few months too.

mbcdefg

You have 11 months. Why on earth are you stressing over this NOW? I can appreciate wanting to get things out of the way, but "going out of [your] mind" about gifts nearly a year ahead of time is insane. You are correct, the ties shouldn't be their only gift, especially if it is part of their "uniform" for the wedding day. Anything for your BMs or GMs that you're asking them to wear for your wedding (jewelry, wraps, shoes, ties) should not be their only gifts.Think of their individual tastes and hobbies. Shop like it's their birthdays or Christmas. They don't need wedding-themed gifts and the gifts need not be identical. They don't need a cutesy keepsake to remember your wedding. Get them something you know they want or need. And why are YOU the one worrying about their gifts? If they're your FI's friends, HE should be deciding what to get them. Stop worrying about this and let him handle it when the time comes. This isn't something you should be worrying about, especially not 11 months out.

ffmaid

First they are Fi's groomemen he has to find their giofts not you. Second he has a year to do so so stop stressing about it now

valdagalcoffman

Thanks Ladies!  Very well put - I just have to remind myself of that.

aprilrose975

It is a cute idea, but I would ask them if it is a charity they even support.  I personnaly do not support the Breast Cancer Awareness charity for personal reasons.  ( I have no problem with people that do)  I am just saying if you bought all that stuff for me I would just give it away to someone that would appreciate it.  Just something to keep in mind. 

duckie1905

Why not let your FI buy the gifts for his attendants?  He would know best what they would like/use.And, if they are expected to wear the ties for the wedding they aren't thank yous.  They are part of the required uniform.

wulfwen

Howdy! If you do help your groom decide, I recommend you suggest Swiss Army knives.  They come in a variety of price points, including a "credit card" version that fits in a wallet, and I have yet to meet a man (or woman, for that matter!) who doesn't love a really cool knife.  They also come in a vast number of colors and patterns, in addition to the original solid red.  I gave the credit card versions to the groomsman and maid of honor at my prior wedding, and they absolutely loved them! Good luck!  Wulfwen  : )

BelhurstBride

Pass this job onto your FI. Tell him to shop as if it's their birthday.

Simply Fated

First of all, I love your theme! If other people don't support this charity, that's fine... as long as you aren't asking them to donate any of their own money to this charity. I look at it this way... there is always going to be someone offended by something. You can't please anyone all the time. If they are really offended, they can choose to not attend your wedding. That's their choice.Guys are really hard to shop for... especially if you dont' know them that well. I dont' know your relationship to them, though. If your fiance is closer to them, then he needs to step up to the plate and take the reigns.

jesslikewhoa

Sorry, but a breast cancer awareness theme sounds ridonkulous.

bablingbrooke

You will regret buying the small things now. And you may not be so in love with your theme in another year. I don't mean to be rude, but whenever people attach a cause to their wedding, no matter how noble, it just comes across as obnoxious.

jesslikewhoa

Bablingbrooke, always the voice of reason.

C&JBigDay

It's your FI's job to shop for the fellas, just ask him in 6 months if he's thought about it, and ask to see what he has in 9 months, that should be the extent of your worries on this one. Figure out a budget that you feel is deserving of their flight/hotel efforts, and then leave your guy to get them something in that range that suits them personally.

LesPaul

The theme of your wedding should be 'your wedding'.  Yes, it is a noble cause, but you shouldn't force it on your WP and guests.  Perhaps a mention in the program of someone close to you who was affected by breast cancer would be more appropriate?  Just my opinion, but you should really think more about this before you go all out with the pink stuff.

valdagalcoffman

Thanks for all the advice - and just as an FYI - I am def not going all out pink.  A donation in the name of our guests will be made to Susan G Komen as guest favors.  I think it's a great cause and it's important to my FI and me as both our family and friends have been affected by it.  We aren't even making a big deal about it - we are just putting cards down at the table for each guest with a small note.  This Swiss Army knives are a cool idea though - I'll be sure to pass it along.

ffmaid

Please do not claim that a donation is a favor. It is not and could offend some people. Skip favors if you will and do a donation just do not say it is in lieu of a favor as that is rude

LesPaul

Agree w/ ffmaid - it is kind of AWish and rude to proclaim you are donating in lieu of favors.  Just skip the favors, donate in your own name, and go on with your wedding.

bablingbrooke

It's obnoxious and AWish to say "We've decided to donate in your names rather than do favors". Character is donating w/o drawing lots of attn to yourself. So just donate w/o making your whole wedding about how socially conscious you are.

bablingbrooke

I should also add: Your family who have been afflicted with breast cancer will not be moved by a reminder of a painful, life-threatening ordeal. My grandmother is a breast cancer survivor and HATES it when people give her pink ribbon stuff. She knows they mean well so she doesn't say anything to them, but she wonders why on earth people think she would ever want reminders of when she had cancer.

duckie1905

I would also add that I have met a lot of people with breast cancer (especially late stage) that won't support SGK for a variety of reasons. The theme of your wedding really shouldn't be something so controversial. You donating guests in lieu of favors is not a gift for your guests and is really AW. Giving to charity is a personal decision and people that do it because they truly want to don't find the need to advertise it on placecards.

carynlg

I'm not going to tell you not to have the SGK theme if you want it.  Some people would be mad if you didn't have a type of food or cake they wanted, or if you chose to personalize your ceremony in a way they disagreed with.  You can't please everyone, and it is your wedding, so I agree with you that you should consider what will mean the most to you and those closest to you.  However, I agree that as a wedding favor a donation to the charity in the guest's name is not the most polite gesture.  Instead, if you only want a few important items for your registry and aren't concerned about getting a lot of random appliances, maybe you could spread the word around that you would appreciate a donation to the Susan G. Komen foundation as your gift.