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I was just invited to a baby shower

bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
in Wedding Party
that I can't possibly attend (on the other side of the country). And the mommy-to-be and hostess know it. Should I send a gift? Or just regrets? BTW they've registered at 3 different places for over 200 gifts. If I send anything, I'm tempted to just send the nipple pads and baby wipes.
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Re: I was just invited to a baby shower

  • stina93446stina93446 member
    2500 Comments
    Not required to send anything but if you feel the inkling, just send something in the $20-30 range.
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  • LarissaAnnLarissaAnn member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    Depends who it is. I was invited to my best friend's wife's baby shower in Colorado and didn't think anything of it. If it was anything less than my best friend, though, I'd squint at it. I send gifts anyway, though, the only difference is how much.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I totally feel like I'm being soaked for a gift. I was good friends w/ this girl in high school but haven't seen her in a couple years. I'll send something but nothing big and expensive, although that is making up a good chunk of the registries. Many, many things over $50 or even $100, very few under $20.
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

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  • LarissaAnnLarissaAnn member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    Then ywah, small & token is the way to go.
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  • stina93446stina93446 member
    2500 Comments
    If you feel that way about the invite, send something teeny. Or nothing at all and just your regards/congrats!
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  • ecsmilesecsmiles
    100 Comments
    I would send regrets, and instead of sending a gift send her a congratulations on the baby card.  Especially if its someone I wasn't close with in a loooong time, I wouldn't waste money on the gift and shipping costs
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If you feel like they're looking for their friends to finance that baby then send regrets.However if you actually like the girl then send a tiny outfit. 
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  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    2500 Comments
    Send a gift its its somebody you would give a gift to. Like, if its some random aquaintance or distant cousin that you would ONLY gift "because its the right thing to do" ... then don't bother. Though I'm pretty shrewd when it comes to doling out gifts. I have to really like/love somebody to give them a gift.

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  • LarissaAnnLarissaAnn member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    Yeah, I'm an "it's the right thing to do" type.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    For me, the right thing to do is to avoid sending shower invitations to a casual friend that you know can't attend.I find it, as retread said, a gift grab.  Send regrets and a lovely baby-to-be card.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • tidetraveltidetravel member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments
    I just gave my friend the invite list for my upcoming baby shower. Both sets of parents insisted that we send invites to OOT people (mostly family) even knowing that they probably won't be able to come. It killed me to do it, but in the end, it wasn't worth the fight. No random HS friends, though.
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  • swim1011swim1011
    500 Comments
    Regrets, and a nice card.  If you're not close enough that you haven't seen each other in a few years, then you're not close enough to send a present.  And definitely not an over $50 present, either.
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  • JaimeePJaimeeP
    100 Comments
    You don't have to buy a gift just because someone sent you an invitation. Just send your regrets. If she sends you a birth announcement, a card and short note would be nice.  
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Eh, I'll send the gift. The shower is being hosted by a mutual friend who I am still close with. The hostess is a great friend but would be burning in etiquette hell for more than a few things (numerous pampered chef "parties", passion party for her bachelorette, money dance at her wedding, head table w/o SOs, etc.). I just won't be as generous as I might be for a mommy-to-be who is still a close friend.
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • Liz4444Liz4444
    100 Comments
    i would send regrets and send something once the baby is born, that way it's about the baby and not the party.  i agree it sounds like a gift invitation if they knew you couldn't come.  i'm not even inviting 1 of my bridesmaids to my shower because she's out of town and i know she couldn't come and i wouldn't want her to feel bad. however, there are some super-sensitive people who get their panties in a bunch if they don't get an invite... my FMIL feels that she has to invite EVERYONE or else they will be offended, even if she knows they can't make it.  do they possibly feel you might be that way and that's why they sent the invite?
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    No, especially considering I didn't even know the girl was pregnant until I got the shower invite.
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • Liz4444Liz4444
    100 Comments
    you didn't even know she was pregnant?  then send the baby a cute onsie once it's born...
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