Has anyone ever had all BM and no MOH?

lilcassers

I am an only child, so obviously no sisters in my bridal party. I have 3 friends who I consider to be closet to out of the 6 gals standing up in my BP. I am contemplating having my FI one sister stand up because I am close to her also. I can't seem to choose a MOH because these 3 gals I feel really close to for all different reasons. I haven't announced my BP and don't plan on it until 8 months before the wedding. Does anyone have suggestions or have been in a similar situation?

mbcdefg

I think your plan is good. Just say, "I love you all equally and don't want to pick a MOH and single anyone out." I know this question has been asked a few times recently, so scroll down the board and see. The only real "duties" of a MOH are to hold the bouquet, fluff the train, walk with Best Man, hold the ring, sign the license, maybe give a toast. So you could ask one girl to do each thing if you want.

gottahavashorti

Your plan sounds like a good one.

bablingbrooke

I didn't but I know many people have and it worked out well.

lilcassers

wow that is a great idea by giving a different duty to each. But I still feel like the one I ask to do the toast, is the one that is considered a MOH. Does this make sense or am I trying to be too traditional here? I guess I wish I had a best friend, but I don't... and that is always a concern for an only child. Wishing to have that best gal pal that will set up the bach party, do the toast and basically be my right hand gal.

lilcassers

I just feel like the gal who stands up and does a toast, everyone will equate with a MOH. My friends husbands men all said something small, but that got long and ridiculous. I don't know wh yI am fixated on this lol.

bablingbrooke

Well, bear in mind that most people don't really care who the MOH is unless they know her personally. So it really doesn't matter if other people equate her as the "sole" MOH. What matters is that they know who they are, you know?

aerinpegadrak

Anyone can give a toast at the wedding.  My sister had her MOH, best man, and one of the groomsmen toast.  If you're that worried about it, see if maybe two girls want to toast, or maybe see if each girl wants to say something brief.

gottahavashorti

It sounds like you're over thinking it a bit.  If you want a traditional MOH, maybe choosing your FSIL would be a kind gesture since you're close to her and she will be family.  But I don't think anyone would be confused by no MOH, or by who gives a toast with multiple/no MOH.

tidetravel

That's what we did - I didn't want to choose and it worked out fine.  

baystateapple

For what it's worth, the last time I was MOH in a wedding, I didn't give the toast.  One of the BMs really wanted to do it so I let her.

trix1223

Please disregard the advice that said to let all of the girls say something. At my niece's wedding, my BIL gave a welcome speech. Then the groom's mother spoke. Then the MOH. Then the Best Man. Then EVERY freakin' GM and EVERY freakin' BM. Geez-it went on forever, and people finally just stopped listening and went back to their own conversations. People don't want to hear speeches. They won't care who is giving the speech. They'll only care if it goes on and on. OP: you're overthinking this. Have all your friends be BM and if you must give each something to do. But I promise you, your guests do. not. care.

lalap69

Keep in mind that a lot of people don't like public speaking.  So the issue of who gives the speech may sort itself out if someone actually does want to speak. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'm only having 2 BMs, both close friends of mine, with no MOH. I don't feel like it's fair to say I love one more than the other, especially since there's only two.

Just_Ali

I'm not choosing a MOH.  I love my gals equally and I just couldn't pick one of the over the other. 

bablingbrooke

Ali--what's the dog chasing/running from in your ticker? I'm intrigued.

as985

I am not having a MOH. My baby (and only) sis died in 2007 in a car accident, and we had always talked about being the MOH in eachothers weddings. So in her memory I am not having a MOH, as I still consider it to be her. But we are having a smaller wedding, so I am sure that I can figure everything out (toasts, holding ring, etc) with my 3 BMs.

Sparkles1985

I am not having a MOH as of now, and probably won't.  I have two sisters who will be standing up with me, as well as FH's sister.  My sisters understand that they are all BMs, and that I don't have a MOH, and don't care.  However, the oldest of my two sisters asked me "Is it ok if I just do the MOH things, so that way you have someone helping you?"  Yeah, like I'm gonna complain about someone wanting to help me!!

** FYI - Yes, I know my wedding is still a ways out,  I would not advocate choosing your WP until closer, but ours is ENTIRELY made up of siblings, and no matter what, that's not going to change, so we figured we would give them all a heads-up so they could plan ahead for expenses. **

Anyways, about speaking at the reception, give the entire bridal party the OPTION of speaking if they would like.  I was in a wedding that did this, rather than just the MOH and BM, and it was okay, because not everyone said something, or just uttered "congratulations guys" and passed the mic.  This could help if one or two people are not comnfortable speaking in front of people and the others are.  Plus, sometimes, people really want to be able to say something special to the couple and don't get the chance because they aren't the MOH/BM.  Just make sure to give them a heads-up if you plan on letting all make a toast, and to let them know to keep it short and sweet!