Wedding Party


I'm not super big into various titles for everything but I want to make sure I use the correct terms in my program.  Wasn't sure if this post belongs here or on the etiquette board so sorry in advance if I put it in the wrong place.

My BMs are my 14-year-old sister and my married friend, and my MOH will be my older sister (also married).  I believe that in the programs I should list MOH as "Matron of Honor" since she's married.  I have questions on the other two:

14-year-old: Would it be inappropriate for me to put her down as BM considering her age?  I know people use the term Jr. BM for younger members of the WP but I didn't want her feeling like she's "less" of a BM.  Obviously I would make sure that she has an age-appropriate dress but I wanted to make sure that in the program I give her the right title.  (BTW I wouldn't expect her to throw me a shower or a b-party, or even attend the b-party if it turns out to be a more adult event; but I'm not expecting anyone to throw me a shower or b-party anyway).

Married friend: Do I call her a bridesmaid?  From what I've heard "maid" is supposed to mean unmarried while "matron" is married (hence matron of honor) but I've never heard of the term bridesmatron before so I'm wondering which should I use?
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Re: Bridesmatron?

  • "Bridesmaid" is fine for both.

  • While "bridesmatron" is technically the correct term for married women, the word sounds incredibly awkward and dated ... and I'm pretty sure nobody actually uses it.

    And at 14, you're sister is too old to be a "Jr. Bridesmaid", imo. I tend to think that term is better suited for "tweens" (Which she is clearly not).

    Go with "bridesmaid" for both.

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  • Maybe I should ask her (married friend) what she wants to be called then?  I would have assumed bridesmaid although both her and my older sister are married and I wondered if it would be disrespectful or something for her to be "bridesmaid" while my sister is "matron of honor."
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  • I've never heard the term bridesmatron used.  It sounds odd to me.  FWIW:  My DD had two married women in her WP, and they were both bridesmaids.  I'm quite certain that they didn't expect to be called anything else.

    And yes, the 14 year old should be called a bridesmaid.  GL

    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Just say bridesmaid.  Calling me a "matron" at 26 would just depress me :)
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  • I keep glancing at this topic and reading it as "brides-ma-tron" which makes me think of your friend may be a Transformer.

    Anyway, I agree with bridesmaid for both. Bridesmatron seems a little too stuffy and unwieldy.
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  • "Bridesmaid" is pretty generic and I think fine for both.  I doubt anyone would think twice if you stick to the usual term.  I've only heard the distinction between maid and matron made when its to the honor attendant. 

  • I have two married friends as bridesmaids (their husbands are groomsmen, incidentally) and I asked them to be 'bridesmaids' and they never gave the wording a second thought. One of them has also been in 7 other weddings, has another this month, and then mine next year, so I would think she'd tell me if I'm not supposed to call her a 'bridesmaid' despite having married status.
  • Lol, Licia. Now I want to call all the female members of my WP brides-ma-trons, married or not.
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