5 Bridesmaids but NO GROOMSMEN

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_5-bridesmaids-but-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1524f1e5-2f70-4e96-8369-39eed24c019aPost:371d7e51-3261-4c6b-822e-dfc608bea987">Re: 5 Bridesmaids but NO GROOMSMEN</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 5 Bridesmaids but NO GROOMSMEN : I interpret that as something else.  But isn't that what all this nonsense is about.  Misinterpretation.   Also, I didn't say you were attacking me, but that I felt like you were.  I realize that was probably not your intention initially.  I started the post because I thought that other brides-to-be could sympathize with the frustrations wedding planning can bring, but I have learned my lesson.  That was my fault for assuming.  I assumed people were like my and sympathized before judging.  I try to put myself in other people's shoes. II just reacted the same way you said you would. 
Posted by JaiteJanerico[/QUOTE]
I truly wasn't attacking you--what kind of person would that make me?  I'm very sorry it came across that way; it wasn't my intention.  I saw some things (common threads in all your posts) that I thought were worth pondering, but you don't have to take my advice.  You can say, "biitch doesn't know what she's talking about!" and go on your way.  Like I said in an earlier post, I'm not going to beat a dead horse.  I hope I'm wrong and that there are no big issues.  I do think it's a mistake to dismiss the idea out of hand that you would ever need to work on your communication skills at any point (it's a work in progress for everyone) so I'm glad you found Trix's book recommendation helpful.  <div>
</div><div>This board is for blunt, honest (sometimes brutally honest) advice, not validation of feelings.  But never forget that it's the internet--nothing worth getting bent out of shape over.  If it bothers you, sign off and walk away for awhile; that's what I do when I start to feel heated about what I see.  Also bear in mind that 100% of what people say are what's in your posts, and if a lot of people are drawing the same insights out of what you say, it's something to consider.  </div><div>
</div><div>Anyway, I wish you the best and hope that you have very few occasions or reasons to vent in the future.  Wedding planning shouldn't get to that point, so if you feel it starting to get that way my personal recommendation is to concede the disagreement and have a margarita.  Little details about the wedding aren't worth this, so don't give them more emotional energy than they deserve.</div>

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_5-bridesmaids-but-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1524f1e5-2f70-4e96-8369-39eed24c019aPost:6e272be5-8a9e-46d7-b4fb-7f4fa55e0791">Re: 5 Bridesmaids but NO GROOMSMEN</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 5 Bridesmaids but NO GROOMSMEN : I totally got who you were being rude to, but that still doesn't make being rude for self-satisfaction okay.  At least I can say the other ladies who gave me an ear full of their opinion weren't rude.  *Waves Bye Right Back*
Posted by JaiteJanerico[/QUOTE]

I see. We know NOTHING about you but you know EVERYTHING about me, so much so that you know my motivations for my replies.

She's being frustrating and I'm telling her so. Or at least that's what I thought it was. You obviously know more.

Pot. Meet Kettle.

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_5-bridesmaids-but-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1524f1e5-2f70-4e96-8369-39eed24c019aPost:219bb2f9-9e39-42a4-b7e7-462c126d61ca">Re: 5 Bridesmaids but NO GROOMSMEN</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 5 Bridesmaids but NO GROOMSMEN : I see. We know NOTHING about you but you know EVERYTHING about me, so much so that you know my motivations for my replies. She's being frustrating and I'm telling her so. Or at least that's what I thought it was. You obviously know more. Pot. Meet Kettle.
Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]
Aight you two--settle.

Robyn5298

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_5-bridesmaids-but-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1524f1e5-2f70-4e96-8369-39eed24c019aPost:aa602250-39b3-452b-a388-4316d751987c">Re: 5 Bridesmaids but NO GROOMSMEN</a>:
[QUOTE]If I'd have had a dollar for every time a married friend told me to elope that weddings aren't worth the stress or money,  I wouldn't have to pay a cent for my catering. I've been told that when I look back I'll wish I had eloped.  So I am not alone in thinking it's stressful, but it's something I am making the conscience decision to go through the stress and money in hopes that it's worth it.   
Posted by JaiteJanerico[/QUOTE]
Lots of people told me this too - most of the time it was off hand jokey comments like "Are you sure you don't want to elope instead?" but nevertheless, I heard that quite a bit.  I also had stressful times during my planning process.  It was never more than I could handle, but the gravity of the day and all the boxes to check can be overwhelming at times.  If nobody else on this board had any stress during their planning, well that's amazing and they are lucky.

I think everyone needs to give OP a break.  You guys have already given her your advice about how to handle her relationship and she sees things differently.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but it seems like some of you are playing armchair psychologist and diagnosing her relationship with chronic communication issues.  It seems silly to read so much into this girl's life based on a few posts on the internet.

mattycam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_5-bridesmaids-but-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1524f1e5-2f70-4e96-8369-39eed24c019aPost:66e230bd-38f6-4ff0-b76a-4c05ad24589f">Re: 5 Bridesmaids but NO GROOMSMEN</a>:
[QUOTE] I recommend that you both read and discuss the book "The Five Love Languages".   You'll find that you show love in one way, while your FI shows it in another way. Once you understand his love language, and he understands yours, and you both understand what your approach to tasks is, you'll avoid having to vent to strangers on an internet forum.
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

I have read this book as well and it is definately a helpful tool.