Adding another BM

nickiglahn

So, I have been contemplating adding another BM for a few weeks. Ever since someone pointed out to me that my FI and I didn't need to match... But As I had already asked a few friends to be BM's do you think that if I asked someone else they would feel as though they were a 2nd choice? Or 2nd best?

mbcdefg

If you've grown closer to this person since you asked the original BMs, and you are sure that she feels the same way, I think it's fine to ask her.

If you left her out in the beginning to keep the sides even even though you were great friends, and are not regretting it ... I would just tread carefully. You could say, "I mistakenly thought that I needed to have even sides, and now I realize how wrong I was and I'm sorry. Would you like to be a bridesmaid?" But that might point out to her that she "wasn't good enough" to make the cut the first time around and might hurt her feelings.

Depends on her personality, I think. How do you think she might react?

Mrs.B6302007

DOes she know that others have already been asked to be in the WP?

nickiglahn

Yes, she does know. But at the time that the rest of the WP was chosen we weren't all that close. We have since grown very close and now I wish that I had found a place in the original WP for her. 

I think that she would be very excited to be part of it, but at the same time I'm worried that I could be wrong.

mbcdefg

I would talk to her, then. If she feels the same way as you (that you weren't close but have now grown closer), I am betting that she would enjoy it.

If you're unsure, maybe ask her to do a reading. And/or invite her to get ready with you and the other girls in the morning. If she's been especially friendly or helpful and it's in your budget, maybe treat her to pro hair or makeup or a pedicure.

nickiglahn

Thanks a lot guys! Definitely helped.

anne.azano

I originally had two, my sister and my brother's wife... and that was the way it was for several months... but I began to realize that I wanted my FI's brother's wife as well, who has been such a great friend to me, and I originally didn't ask her because my FI was only having 2 groomsmen.  But eventually, I decided, who cares about even sides?  (after reading these boards a bit) So, I asked her, and she was thrilled!   I said pretty much exactly what mbcdefg suggested...So, based on my own personal experience, I think it can be ok, if you go about it the right way.