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msuprincess04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-your-own-sister-stabs-you-in-the-backget-back-up-and-count-your-blessings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:164561dc-5d03-4496-8f25-b671b420f11bPost:34efd444-3c94-4c37-b0cf-9197ed181c09">When your own sister stabs you in the back..get back up and count your blessings!!</a>:
[QUOTE]So long story short, I originally had 6 bridesmaids including my sister(I selected as my matron of honor)  She, along with my other best friend did not order their dresses at the time the other ladies had. I was not upset, I figured they have until the end of November to order them.  I am not one to hound someone, I feel that the entire bridal party understood that they had to order their dresses by a certain time frame. My sister and best friend waited until literally the last day in November to order their dress. Problem was a) they went to an entire different store than where the order was first started. They called me the morning of and asked me to drive 45 minutes to the original store to pay their deposit which I couldn't because I already had plans that day. After calling my mom to vent, my sister in turns decides to text me, not call me but text me that she was out of the wedding. Later she emails me that I was unrealistic about asking all my girls to wear the same style of dress.(after speaking with the remaning ladies, they all agreed that no one had issues with the dress when it was originally picked in October so they dont know what she was talking about) Then.,she decides to Facebook my best friend and tell her that I was talking about her not getting her dress( umm false) so then my best friend drops out as well( well I guess she isn't so much a best friend anymore)  Was I upset? Yes, but then I prayed on it and decided that I still had 4 amazing ladies who held my hands and wiped my tears away during this very trying time. I never want to look back on me and my fiancé's big day and have 1 negative thought come through. I see from this board that there are many more frustrated brides that have had issues with some of their bridal party memebers. Keep your head up ladies, the day is ours!
Posted by BoomFiance[/QUOTE]


Two big things jump out at me.
1) Dropping out of a wedding isn't 'stabbing someone in the back.' It's a decision to decline and invitation to buy a dress and stand in a ceremony. It shouldn't change your relationship. And if she was flakey to start with, it shouldn't be that upsetting or a surprise.

2) If you vented to your mom, you were, in fact, talking about your best friend not getting the dress. So, your sister didn't lie. And, again, it's not a reflection on your friendship, as a choice to decline an invitation.

This shouldn't end any relationships, and certainly shouldn't cause so much stress that you need to cry and hold hands with other friends to get over it. Just get over it. But, I am happy to see you are looking on the bright side that your wedding will be fabulous no matter how many people stand in the front with you in whatever dress you chose.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-your-own-sister-stabs-you-in-the-backget-back-up-and-count-your-blessings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:164561dc-5d03-4496-8f25-b671b420f11bPost:f88a0a99-0f37-402e-89b8-ec566f413f3a">Re: When your own sister stabs you in the back..get back up and count your blessings!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to When your own sister stabs you in the back..get back up and count your blessings!! : Two big things jump out at me. 1) Dropping out of a wedding isn't 'stabbing someone in the back.' It's a decision to decline and invitation to buy a dress and stand in a ceremony. It shouldn't change your relationship. And if she was flakey to start with, it shouldn't be that upsetting or a surprise. 2) If you vented to your mom, you were, in fact, talking about your best friend not getting the dress. So, your sister didn't lie. And, again, it's not a reflection on your friendship, as a choice to decline an invitation. This shouldn't end any relationships, and certainly shouldn't cause so much stress that you need to cry and hold hands with other friends to get over it. Just get over it. But, I am happy to see you are looking on the bright side that your wedding will be fabulous no matter how many people stand in the front with you in whatever dress you chose.
Posted by msuprincess04[/QUOTE]

**nodding in agreement**

MairePoppy

You know what makes me sad? Grown women damaging their relationships with sisters and good friends over a one day party or a Facebook post.

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-your-own-sister-stabs-you-in-the-backget-back-up-and-count-your-blessings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:164561dc-5d03-4496-8f25-b671b420f11bPost:5950ae30-6e68-436b-8b80-6bd10b4bbb6b">Re: When your own sister stabs you in the back..get back up and count your blessings!!</a>:
[QUOTE]You know what makes me sad? Grown women damaging their relationships with sisters and good friends over a one day party or a Facebook post.
Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

I couldn't agree more! I think it has a lot to do with "reality" shows and the wedding industry implying that treating your best friends and sisters as servants because it's ***OMG YOUR BIG DAY*** is ok. Sad.

Katoners

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-your-own-sister-stabs-you-in-the-backget-back-up-and-count-your-blessings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:164561dc-5d03-4496-8f25-b671b420f11bPost:34efd444-3c94-4c37-b0cf-9197ed181c09">When your own sister stabs you in the back..get back up and count your blessings!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Was I upset? Yes, but then I prayed on it and decided that I still had 4 amazing ladies who held my hands and wiped my tears away during this very trying time.
Posted by BoomFiance[/QUOTE]

What is it about wedding planning that has you needing this much support? This is a wedding, not a funeral.

ltaylor713

In Response to Re:When your own sister stabs you in the back..get back up and count your blessings!!:[QUOTE]In Response to When your own sister stabs you in the back..get back up and count your blessings!!:Was I upset? Yes, but then I prayed on it and decided that I still had 4 amazing ladies who held my hands and wiped my tears away during this very trying time. Posted by BoomFianceWhat is it about wedding planning that has you needing this much support? This is a wedding, not a funeral. Posted by Katoners[/QUOTE]

Ditto this.

bridalmarch

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-your-own-sister-stabs-you-in-the-backget-back-up-and-count-your-blessings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:164561dc-5d03-4496-8f25-b671b420f11bPost:bc9177fa-d1cd-47d4-adcc-67d794ffe94f">Re: When your own sister stabs you in the back..get back up and count your blessings!!</a>:
[QUOTE]:Your wedding is in April.  They could have waited until this month to order, and still had time.  What the heck was wrong with her ordering it from a different store, so long as she got the style? I think you got suckered by the wedding industry, dear.  B<strong>ridal salon consultants work on commission, and have to meet a sales quotaevery month in order to keep their job.  I'm betting yours told you you had to order right now because there was a chance the dress might get discontinued, and you needed it a minimum of six months in advance.  Right? She also told you to order it from only her shop. This was all so she could get the commission.  They'll tell you anything to get your order immediately</strong>.  David's Bridal and Alfred Angelo are especially bad about this. Dropping out of a wedding isn't a stab in the back.  There are lots of very good reasons to do so.  Don't let your one day ruin a lifetime of relationships. P.S.  Facebook again. Why did I know that would be in there somewhere? WHAT about that site makes some people act like spiteful children?
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Don't forget the dye lot. WHAT IF THE DYE IS DIFFERENT!?!!? WHAT THEN???

</div>

MairePoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-your-own-sister-stabs-you-in-the-backget-back-up-and-count-your-blessings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:164561dc-5d03-4496-8f25-b671b420f11bPost:28aaad65-d3dd-45bc-b29e-c1e04fc68a02">Re: When your own sister stabs you in the back..get back up and count your blessings!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: When your own sister stabs you in the back..get back up and count your blessings!! : Don't forget the dye lot. WHAT IF THE DYE IS DIFFERENT!?!!? WHAT THEN???
Posted by bridalmarch[/QUOTE]

Well, don't you know? The marriage won't be valid if the bm's dresses aren't cut from the same dye lot.

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-your-own-sister-stabs-you-in-the-backget-back-up-and-count-your-blessings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:164561dc-5d03-4496-8f25-b671b420f11bPost:28aaad65-d3dd-45bc-b29e-c1e04fc68a02">Re: When your own sister stabs you in the back..get back up and count your blessings!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: When your own sister stabs you in the back..get back up and count your blessings!! : Don't forget the dye lot. WHAT IF THE DYE IS DIFFERENT!?!!? WHAT THEN???
Posted by bridalmarch[/QUOTE]

The HORROR!

Dye lots are not the concern that many want to convince brides that they are.