I've asked my FSIL to be a bridesmaid not because we're close, but because we will always be family and I wanted to honor her as my FI's sister. My FI and and FSIL were talking last night with their parents and my FSIL was asking my FI if he was planning on inviting the FSIL's best friends, we'll call them Ophelia and Juliet (love me some Shakespeare!). FI said no, we're already having issues with our guest list being too long and we've had to cut some of our good friends to accomodate family we haven't seen for years.
FSIL got really upset and said that it wasn't fair, that Ophelia "is like a little sister" to my FI, which isn't true even in the slightest. She may be like a sister to FSIL, but FI isn't especially attached to her at all. My FI stood strong and told FSIL that we just can't invite them due to list size.When he made the point that this day is about my FI and I and our families joing, not about my FSIL, she told him that if Ophelia and Juliet weren't invited, she didn't want to be a bridesmaid anymore. She also made some sort of derogatory remark that it was my fault that the guest list was so large already, and that maybe I should stop inviting so many people (which isn't true at all, the majority of the friends on our list are either mutual friends or my FI's friends).
in no way, shape or form am i proposing to remove her from my bridal party; I firmly believe that would create way more drama than its worth. I'm just irritated that she'd say something like that- being a bridesmaid is an honor, not a bargaining chip used to manipulate.
What would you do? Stay out of it and let my FI and his family handle it?