2 maids of honor?

SingingSkater

I have read a lot about having a maid of honor and a matron of honor, and I already asked my sister to be my MOH, but I've been thinking a lot that I would like my best friend who is already a bridesmaid a MOH because she has been very involved with helping me plan the wedding and I'm closer to her than my other 2 bridesmaids so I feel like she deserves a higher title than the other 2. But I have a few problems...first of all, I'm really worried about hurting my sisters feelings by adding a second MOH, and I don't know how to bring it up to her. I know she would say she is fine with it, but I am really close with her and I don't want to hurt her at all. Also, the friend is married so I thought if she had the matron title and not exact the same title as my sister, it might be easier my sister. But a couple weeks ago she told me she was starting paperwork for a divorce so I don't think she would appreciate still being called matron of honor. So my question now is have any of you had 2 maids of honor and how did that work out? I know its my wedding so I can have as many as I want, but I want to know how it has worked for people. Also, any ideas on how to bring it up to my sister? And can anyone think of another title for an attendant in between a regular bridesmaid and a MOH? Help please, I need advice!

Legu

Honestly, I don't know... All I can think is, if you really are that close to your sister, she'd understand if you wanted your friend to also be MOH...

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_2-maids-of-honor-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1a56795d-d3db-4062-8ee6-a036e6aad7f4Post:a3f27e3f-65bc-477e-b884-f7acacbbbc0c">2 maids of honor?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have read a lot about having a maid of honor and a matron of honor, and I already asked my sister to be my MOH, but I've been thinking a lot that I would like my best friend who is already a bridesmaid a MOH because <strong>she has been very involved with helping me plan the wedding</strong> and I'm closer to her than my other 2 bridesmaids so I feel like she deserves a higher title than the other 2. But I have a few problems...first of all, I'm really worried about hurting my sisters feelings by adding a second MOH, and I don't know how to bring it up to her. I know she would say she is fine with it, but I am really close with her and I don't want to hurt her at all. Also, the friend is married so I thought if she had the matron title and not exact the same title as my sister, it might be easier my sister. But a couple weeks ago she told me she was starting paperwork for a divorce so I don't think she would appreciate still being called matron of honor. So my question now is have any of you had 2 maids of honor and how did that work out? I know its my wedding so I can have as many as I want, but I want to know how it has worked for people. Also, any ideas on how to bring it up to my sister? And can anyone think of another title for an attendant in between a regular bridesmaid and a MOH? Help please, I need advice!
Posted by SingingSkater[/QUOTE]

The bolded part is not a good enough reason to "promote" someone to MOH.  But if you are really very close to her then I don't see the problem.

As for how having 2 MOHs would work, it would work the same way as if you only had one.  Their only "duties" are to buy the dress and show up for your wedding, if they do anything else that is completely voluntary.

If you want to make your friend a MOH then do it.  I would tell your sister your intentions and unless your sister is completely self-absorbed I am sure she will understand.

aragx6

Even if she's divorced she would "technically" still be a matron of honor anyway. I say technically because people call people whatever they want to anymore and it doesn't matter in the least.

And I agree with maggie that the honor shouldn't have anything to do with how involved in the planning and execution of the wedding they are -- my MOH is my closest friend, but she's a 1st year resident in a state far way and hasn't really been involved with the wedding -- and that's OK, because it's not her job to do that.

mbody

Having 2 MOHs is completely fine. But, you didn't do it from the start. I think if you do it now, you'll potentially hurt people's feelings.
- You could hurt your sisters feelings by suddenly making another girl MOH along with her. She might wonder what she did wrong.
- You could hurt the other two BMs who aren't getting a 'promotion.' They might also wonder what they did wrong. Or they can view it is playing favorites.

Just leave things as they are.

SingingSkater

Thanks...I think I should have been more clear that the reason I want to "promote"the friend is not because she is helping planning, I actually feel like we were close before and have known each other since high school, and through the wedding planning together we have grown closer again. And I don't think my sister would be mad or say anything bad about having a second MOH, I'm just worried that since I already asked my sister (the day I got engaged actually; we're the kind of sisters that just have always known we would be each others MOH s) but I hadn't mentioned or even thought about having 2 at that point. I want to "promote" my friend without risking my sister feel like she's being "demoted" ... Does that make sense?

slgirl21

<strong>You can have two maids of honor. My friend who recently got married has two Matron's of honors and I was the MOH, its your wedding and you can choose who ever  you want to choose and give them the titles you think they deserve, Matron is for a married women and Maid is for single gals so its acceptable to have two of each or three or four..etc.. </strong>





In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_2-maids-of-honor-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1a56795d-d3db-4062-8ee6-a036e6aad7f4Post:a3f27e3f-65bc-477e-b884-f7acacbbbc0c">2 maids of honor?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have read a lot about having a maid of honor and a matron of honor, and I already asked my sister to be my MOH, but I've been thinking a lot that I would like my best friend who is already a bridesmaid a MOH because she has been very involved with helping me plan the wedding and I'm closer to her than my other 2 bridesmaids so I feel like she deserves a higher title than the other 2. But I have a few problems...first of all, I'm really worried about hurting my sisters feelings by adding a second MOH, and I don't know how to bring it up to her. I know she would say she is fine with it, but I am really close with her and I don't want to hurt her at all. Also, the friend is married so I thought if she had the matron title and not exact the same title as my sister, it might be easier my sister. But a couple weeks ago she told me she was starting paperwork for a divorce so I don't think she would appreciate still being called matron of honor. So my question now is have any of you had 2 maids of honor and how did that work out? I know its my wedding so I can have as many as I want, but I want to know how it has worked for people. Also, any ideas on how to bring it up to my sister? And can anyone think of another title for an attendant in between a regular bridesmaid and a MOH? Help please, I need advice!
Posted by SingingSkater[/QUOTE]

mbcdefg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_2-maids-of-honor-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1a56795d-d3db-4062-8ee6-a036e6aad7f4Post:ada411f1-7829-4de6-b7f6-c33dc1b75382">Re:2 maids of honor?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks...I think I should have been more clear that the reason I want to "promote"the friend is not because she is helping planning, I actually feel like we were close before and have known each other since high school, and through the wedding planning together we have grown closer again. And I don't think my sister would be mad or say anything bad about having a second MOH, I'm just worried that since I already asked my sister (the day I got engaged actually; we're the kind of sisters that just have always known we would be each others MOH s) but I hadn't mentioned or even thought about having 2 at that point. I want to "promote" my friend without risking my sister feel like she's being "demoted" ... Does that make sense?
Posted by SingingSkater[/QUOTE]

I would personally just leave everything how it is. But I would take the new friend out to lunch or something and just tell her how much I appreciate her help and her friendship.

Whether the new friend is a co-MOH or not is not going to change your level of friendship. And I would not want to risk hurting my sister's feelings over a one-day role that's essentially meaningless, when you boil right down to it.