Pregnant BM's comfort

mrsredmoose

One of my BMs will be 5 months pregnant with her first child at my August wedding!  This is such an exciting time for both of us, and I would appreciate any advice you have to offer about making sure she is comfortable.

Dresses are not a concern. The BMs are all in short, black strapless dresses from David's Bridal.  Dresses are already in, and this BM will either exchange it for a larger size and alter it or exchange it for a different style in black closer to the date. She may even just go off the rack at a maternity or department store with any black dress a few weeks before since doesn't know how she will carry.  (She's concerned b/c she is only 5' and not sure what will feel/look good with a 5 month baby bump).

We are praying for a safe and comfortable pregnancy, but in case she feels uncomfortable, what are some some things I can make available to her? (She is flying 5 hours to be at the wedding).  I figured making sure she can sit through the ceremony (By the way, is it okay to ask WP in general to stand through a ceremony under 30 minutes; maybe the whole WP should sit?) if she chooses is a start and an extra special OOT bag is a start.  Any other ideas?  Thank you!

TwinsRib

Hmmm... I personally didn't really even start "showing" until about 6-7 months, so the dress thing shouldn't be an issue. I say, give her the option of wanting to sit if she wants, but I don't think that will be an issue eitther. I would also say, keep a "container" close in case she needs to  throw up... Speaking from experience, that was my most major problem at 5 months... I was still working in retail (standing for 6+ hrs) and didn't really "show" all that much..

Kudos to you tho for trying to make sure she is taken care of :-)

CA2MT4EveR

I think you are being a GREAT understanding friend!  There are many people who are far too worried about what people will think when they see a pregnant BM.  You rock as a friend!!  Anyway, I think having a seat available for her is completely appropriate.  As far as the rest of the WP, ask them if they feel comfortable standing for that long, or if they would rather have a seat available.  For the OOT bag, if you do it, just make sure it isn't something with too many "goodies" she will have to travel home with. Snacks and water for her room would be nice.

gottahavashorti

You guys, can we keep her?  Please?

OP, you're being a very considerate friend.  Have a seat reserved for her in the front row in case she'd be more comfortable sitting.  As for the rest of the WP, that's up to you or you can ask them.  They should be okay standing for 30 minutes, if it were 45-60 minutes I'd let them sit.

MsSirius

My sister/MOH will have just had her 2nd baby weeks before my wedding so I understand wanting to make your BM comfortable. Have a seat for her just incase she gets tired or her back or feet begin to hurt. Is the ceremony outside? August can be a pretty hot month. If it is have a bottle of water for her close by in case she needs it.

Your an awesome friend for wanting to make sure that she is as comfortable as can be.

andy71781

You are awesome!!!  I'd get her some sparkling grape juice for the champagne toast and let her wear whatever shoes she wants.  You will have good weather on your wedding day for being a good bride.

tidetravel

Every pregnancy is different - flexibility on your part is the key.  Your plan for the dress seems fine, she may or may not be showing at that point, and can take care of alterations/exchanges as the date getes closer.  I know that for me, I was already in maternity clothes by 3 months, however, there were a couple of months where I just looked/felt "fat" and not "pregnant" before I got my cute baby bump.

Allow all of the BMs to choose thier own shoes, so that she (well, all the BMs really) isn't stuck in uncomfortable shoes.  Remember that she may feel sick/tired on the day, so keep your expectations low.  It's not a big deal if she can't participate in a lot of the pre-wedding activities, or has to leave the reception early.   

MyNameIsNot

Ditto PPs.  It's so awesome to see a considerate bride.  So many people come on here upset that a BM got pregnant, and wanting to kick her out.  

As for seating, with a 30 minute ceremony, I'd probably consider having the whole  WP sit in the front row during most of the ceremony, and then just stand during your vows and rings.  

We had a Catholic mass, so almost an hour, but that's generally how they do them. Then DH and I sat up front next to the altar.  Everyone was comfortable.  

mrsredmoose

Thanks for all of the helpful suggestions; you ladies rock!! 

Yes, the wedding is outdoors, so the cold water is a great idea. I LOVE the idea of sparking juice for the toast and never thought to keep a container in case of nausea (I just hope nerves don't get the best of me and cause me to use it). All BMs are choosing their shoes; I only requested that they be black. (Although I did tease them about purple dye-ables; I actually would have loved that, but it's too expensive for me).

I'm with you, Tide, on the flexibility.  This BM wasn't planning on attending any pre-wedding parties before she became pregnant, so that's cool. While it's be a bummer if she felt bad and had to leave early, I'd understand. I just hope she makes it to Venetian hour!

Also, thanks for the advice on seating the WP.  Either way works for me; I'll run it by them and see what they want. 

CTGirl30

That's really sweet of you - I like you!  :-) Stay, stay! lol.

One of my BMs will be 8 months preggo with twins on my wedding date (3 weeks away). I'm praying she's not on bed rest by then and even able to attend but she'll be able to sit for the ceremony and she is wearing whatever she'll be most comfortable in (right now she's insisting on wearing the same dress as the other girls - just in a much bigger size altered down but really - I don't care if she wears a burlap sack as long as she's comfortable).

CA2MT4EveR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-bms-comfort?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1da7a3c0-7362-49b7-843b-c7362dadaf22Post:02be6c1c-a41c-4ed2-a426-055520dda7da">Re: Pregnant BM's comfort</a>:
[QUOTE]That's really sweet of you - I like you!  :-) Stay, stay! lol. One of my BMs will be 8 months preggo with twins on my wedding date (3 weeks away). I'm praying she's not on bed rest by then and even able to attend but she'll be able to sit for the ceremony and she is wearing whatever she'll be most comfortable in (right now she's insisting on wearing the same dress as the other girls - just in a much bigger size altered down but really - I don't care if she wears a burlap sack as long as she's comfortable).
Posted by CTGirl30[/QUOTE]

Eek! 8 months is scary with twins, I hope she makes it too.  Just tell her to stand there with her legs crossed so those babies don't come out on her :)  One of my BFF's is pregnant with twins right now and I am secretly hoping they are born a month early when I am home.

CTGirl30

CA - I know - theoretically she could go at any time now...we're playing it all by ear!

mrsredmoose

mmmm.... Venetian hour!  It's an option at the end of some receptions that includes cakes and sweets. We're having cakes, gelato, a cannolli filling station, crepes, a belgian waffle station, s'mores and some other goodies.  Venetian hours are very popular in Italian-American weddings.  I was so lucky b/c my venue agreed to throw it in for free if I choose a specific date!

emilyinchile

That sounds so good! In Chile people often do a dessert buffet a bit later on (in addition to plated dessert and cake), but we skipped it because we felt like it was a waste of food since everything's full portions, so people usually get like three things and take two bites of each. But I think I'd be down for Venetian hour

CTGirl30

We are having a Venetian Table, too - HUGE spread of sweets basically! Cannot wait....

Hahaha, no MDs will be in attendance but if she goes into labor that will be quite the story indeed. We had both our showers last wknd - on Saturday was my bridal shower and Sunday was her baby shower!

CA2MT4EveR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-bms-comfort?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1da7a3c0-7362-49b7-843b-c7362dadaf22Post:52c79c32-6d65-4fbc-84ad-390b5f0c9a1e">Re: Pregnant BM's comfort</a>:
[QUOTE]But I'm curious - what's Venetian hour?
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

I was wondering the same thing, but thought I may have missed a discussion.

KandT2607

Hi,

I also have a bridesmaid who is pregnant.  She will be 7 months at the wedding.  I agree about having a chair. But my pregnant BM was worried about looking out of place being the only one sitting down.  So we are putting a stool right behind her so that she can sit on the stool during the ceremony if she wants, but will still be up front and somewhat similiar in height.  Then, we are leaving a chair in the front row just in case she needs to sit down with some back support.  We wanted to leave both options open to her depending on how she is feeling in the heat (Our wedding is also outdoors - in June).

NicoleJay312

MyOH just had her second child. Her balance was off completely. Your friend may feel more comfortable with an escort. The ground at an outside ceremony could be uneven and just a little extra support might help. Just a suggestion.